I don’t think it’s ultimately supportive to refrain from objecting to beliefs that are fairly demonstrably untrue simply because someone probably doesn’t want to have those beliefs challenged. We’re all entitled to our own interpretations of reality, but not to our own reality itself (insofar as “reality” can be objectively ascertained, which seems to be not completely, but to some extent).
That said, I won’t be posting here again.
I hope things work out well for all of you. [Since it’s a text medium and I won’t post again, I should clarify that I mean the preceding sentence in all sincerity.]
We are tempted to tell you that your opinion is unwelcome here, since you are neither a supporter of someone who dissociates, nor do you dissociate yourself, but unfortunately we can't. We can however comment on your opinion.
It seems like you believe that because you are unable to find some scientific 'proof' of our experience that it is 'untrue.'
As shadow said there are so many things about the brain (let alone the rest of the world) that is unexplained, and we are learning more and more everyday. To believe and trust only things you read in a thesis, or medical journal or scientific research sounds like a pretty limiting experience of life.
There is so much more to the world than can be found in text.
__________________________ Pale moon,
We're glad you got something positive and (what seems like) enlightening from the hospital visit. It is always difficult when people are uneducated or ignorant about issues in terms of dissociation, but professionals are slowly becoming more aware of the prevalence of dissociation (all ends of the spectrum). They'll get there eventually. Nonetheless, sorry you felt invalidated, it's never a comfortable experience.
___
We seem to be slowly recovering from the virus, which is good news.
Cougar has had some time off work while we've been sick, which is a pain, since we haven't been well enough to see her...
We are seeing T today, missed our last appointment because of being sick.
We're not feeling like we have much to say, not that nothing has happened, but because it feels like there is a block... we will talk to her about that.
As shadow said there are so many things about the brain (let alone the rest of the world) that is unexplained, and we are learning more and more everyday. To believe and trust only things you read in a thesis, or medical journal or scientific research sounds like a pretty limiting experience of life.
There is so much more to the world than can be found in text.
Lost Boys~
you are soo right!! i mean faith and beliefs can not be seen but yet everyone in the world has them of somekind..
not everything in the world can be explained.. and no worries i feel as you do about want I am tempted to tell him..but well 1- i cant cause ill get in touble here and 2..i cant cause hiding wont freking let me..grrrr.
we have a toy cat that we sleep with. But hasn't been helping that much recently... probably isn't helping that been off meds since thursday as haven;t been able to get to the pharmacy to pick them up I have no communication with Nameless so if it is them then there isn't much I can do about it... The only form of contact with Nameless that I have ever had was through Michelle but at the moment everything just seems to be very messed up and loud and to be honest painful if I try to communicate with anyone inside
i don't know whats wrong with me. i'm getting scared i'm losing control. i started screaming and crying at my mom today for something relatively small. weird thing was she seemed upset by it but i don't think she was as freaked out by it as it freaked me out. i kept telling her to just go away and leave me alone. i mean i know we've had problems in the past, but i have no idea why i reacted this way. then i was really out of it, and like i do when i have weird episodes, i fell asleep. then i woke up really really sore and hot. finally now just back to normal. not sure what's causing it. i would think it was a mood swing but it feels distant and i think i was zoned out and it was so ridiculously intense and i was so upset by it that I don't know if a mood swing really explains it. Also been really sensitive to loud noises lately and just overall feeling not in control and like i'm unprotected. I think I heard a voice scream in my head last night. i seem to hear voices a lot right before i go to sleep, but I know I'm not asleep. But I seem to zone out and hear stuff more when I'm laying down... Problem is, I don't remember much of it so I don't know if I should bother telling anyone this stuff or not. Even what I wrote has little emotion to it, I don't feel very connected to these symptoms but I know logically that they have happened and I'm not sure whether to be concerned.
Hey,
My names Becca and i have only recently joined the forum. I wasnt sure where to make my first post. But it seemed logical to me to make it here. Ive been lurking and following this particular thread for a while now. Maybe a month or so and have been touched by following the stories of many and just generally the guidance some of you have to offer. To me it felt like a family i wanted to join.
I have DID, i struggle with eating and also with self harm. I recently split from my partner of 6 years due to the fact that he just couldnt see past my illness. I just feel so alone right now. And i thought it was time to reach out for help.
Please feel free to re-direct me if im in the wrong place. Thanks, Becs :)
Hey Becs,
You aren't in the wrong place at all.
You're from NSW? We're from Australia too :)
We're here anytime you want to vent or are looking for support.
6 years is a long time, we're really sorry you two split up, it's so sad when a relationship ends due to something like an illness. It feels so unfair. Feel free to share as much or little as you feel comfortable with.
lostboys
Last edited by bleeding black : 20-07-2010 at 01:48 PM.
Reason: whoops
sometimes being off meds cold turkey can produce horrible side effects. i know my paxil used to.. not sure about theis lexapro yet.. havent had to be off it yet ..but then again havent really noticed it working much either..needed to go get my higher dasoage prescription.. hopefully friday i can do that.
anyhow sorry im rambling.. dont know why i am. sorry lol hope you can sleep better soon shadowlight. Hiding
Hey Lost and hey Hiding, thanks for the responses. So happy i got a couple of replies. I didnt post for a long time as i feared rejection but i now have a smile on my face :)
Nice to see some fellow Australians on here, im originally from Newcastle but currently reside in Bathurst.
I currently just feel so alone, im so angry with him for leaving me. Our relationship wasnt always plain sailing but who's is? I just want him back, i wish he could have seen through my imperfections and just see me the woman he fell in love with.
Im having real problems with dissociating, i spend my day dissociated where as before with him in my life it was ok. It felt more manageable.
Im sorry for being so vague, i want to share my story with you guys but right now im really struggling and i feel so so tired.
becca~ yeah sucks that he would leave over that but somepeople just cant uderstand or they dont want to try. closemindedness is one of our huge pet peeves. we understand feeling alone. it super sucks. i mean personally ..i like my privacy but i guess that is different. i was used to privacy being inside and now when im out..it seems sarah and hiding are constantly looking over my shoulder reading and seeing everything i do and say. ugh..hate it. hope you can get rest and feel a little better soon. SADIE
Hi Becca, I'm glad you feel about to post here and don't feel pressured to share your story. We're are hear to listen whether it takes another month or another year.
We wish you and your other/s well.
Tabitha
System A
Sophie Mandi Max Gwen Mercy Erin AVA Tracey Bridget My Isaac
Hi, everyone. :) I'm new here.
I was officially diagnosed with DID about 2 years ago.
I don't know how many "alters" I have. My mom has met 5 of them, though I can hear them and although I don't know how many there are, there are way more than 5 that I can hear. There are probably more that are hiding from me, too. One of the ones my mom knows I've never heard.
I knew something was "wrong" with me long before I got diagnosed, I just didn't know the name for it. I lost time, found drawings and writing I didn't do, found myself suddenly in strange places, like in the middle of the desert, and once on top my neighbor's roof. Sometimes I lose time in mere minutes, though usually hours and sometimes days, though I lost an entire year once. That was frightening as hell.
In my case I split from abuse. When I find the courage I'll post some of my story.
I'm writing about this calmly, but really I feel scared out of my wits and so alone.
We are the lostboys, and we've been diagnosed for around 5 years. There are lots of us in here, more than 50. We always knew there were others inside, we thought it was "normal"
We're glad you found the thread, don't feel pressured to share, only tell as much as you feel comfortable with, take care of yourself/selves as you go. We're here and listening whenever you decide to write some.
We know how frightening it is to find yourself in scary or dangerous places with no knowledge of how you got there.
It's ok to be scared, new and unknown things often scare us because they are just that - unknown. But there is no need to be afraid of us here, and you aren't alone either.
Take care of yourself and you're welcome here anytime. :)
lostboys
Does anyone get the sensation that someone inside has 'taken over' a part of your body?
Like, when I was writing in a journal last night my arm was moving and writing stuff that I wasn't thinking. And I had a conversation with Xander through it. Sometimes when I'm typing it happens again. Like they know how to type and I'm just a vessel that they type through. It's still me - I'm not missing time or dissociating really, really badly - but I can't control my arms or hands.
Just wondered if anyone else experienced this?
For those doubts that swirl all around us
For those lives that tear at the seams
We know… we’re not what we’ve seen
For this dance we’ll move with each other
There ain’t no other step than one foot
Right in front of the other
Hey scath, yeah i have experienced this. It's so bizarre the first few times, it happens the most when we journal, but has happened other times too, parts doing things with my hands, things they find comforting mostly.
Do you know who the part is? Is it a scary experience for you?
It's an... odd experience. Depends on what they're doing if it's scary or not. I talk to Xander that way sometimes. If he wants to talk to me. I don't usually know who it is unless they sign their name on whatever they've written. I know Rebe has a thing about wringing her hands when she's nervous / scared. That's weird to feel happen, since I can 'feel' the anxiety in a second-hand way too.
My thoughts are all disjointed and I feel like I'm going to burst into tears at any moment and I thought about writing in a journal and then *bang* huge wave of embarrasment and feeling stupid and useless and not knowing what to write in a journal anyway and even this time-keeping one that I've been doing for the past week feels ridiculous and I just want to delete it all. But I mustn't because it's for my care co-ordinater meeting to show him something but I can't remember the something it's supposed to prove or why he wants me to keep it in the first place.
I feel like such a liar and I don't know why.
For those doubts that swirl all around us
For those lives that tear at the seams
We know… we’re not what we’ve seen
For this dance we’ll move with each other
There ain’t no other step than one foot
Right in front of the other
think I've sort of experianced that, but sort of opposite if that makes sense... like if I try to do something that another is very against happening then it's like they are able to prevent parts of the body from moving. Does that make sense? Like if I try to go out and another is scared of going out they seem to be able to root the legs to the floor, or if I try to eat and another is against eating then it's like the arms won't work to get food. I assume it would be a similar thing?
I have no communication with Nameless so if it is them then there isn't much I can do about it... The only form of contact with Nameless that I have ever had was through Michelle but at the moment everything just seems to be very messed up and loud and to be honest painful if I try to communicate with anyone inside
