"A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell 'em for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I'm a goner
And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin'
Funny when you're dead how people start listenin'"
Kathryn - "Moving on" has no time limit and considering what you have been through you should give yourself all the time in the world. I know it's really hard after what your psych said though *Hugs*. How are things going generally for you?
Hazel - Hope you get to spend some quality time with Jack :-]
Hiding - Thank you dear. I know what you mean about never being fully out - I'm out most of the time but I'm always sharing with others and I'm always bombarded by what they are all saying. It's exhausting. Are you ok though? Coping ok? Does anyone know and support you? By the way - you are NOT insane. At all. Some very bad things happened to you, and that's not your fault at all. Any time you need to talk, you can always PM me. About dissociation for adult abuse - I think the reason most of the information on dissociation is related to child abuse is that before the age of 7 children have much more developed dissociative skills, and so dissociative disorders are often caused by trauma in childhood when the child was more likely to split off and dissociate. However this is NOT the case in all people with dissociative disorders and it should never be assumed that a dissociative person has been abused in childhood. Dissociation can happen at any age as a response to many different events. Everyone is very different. I won't write more here, but if you wanted to talk more then do PM me.
Nameless, Ayka, Sadie - There is one inside called Holly who is 16 and she has the same attitude that we should just not become involved with people, especially men, and she is very defensive. Frank carries the anger, but Holly has more specifically directed anger. I know that she only wants to protect us, but sometimes she can cause more problems by her rage. But I think it's great that you guys are trying to protect your hosts - just try not to be someone that your host needs to be protected from if you see what I mean.
FlyingStar - How are you doing?
Scath - It all sounds very confusing for you *Hugs*. I'm sorry that things are so hard. Although I do have some males in the system, most of us are content with a female body - although I am anorexic and that's partly fuelled by a fear of looking like a grown woman. Are there any charities or helplines that could advise you anonymously before you speak to any medical professionals about this? Hope you are ok.
Hopeisalie - Hope you guys are ok and feeling safer.
Jen - *Hugs* Thank you sweetie. I know how distressing it is when the past isn't a secret any more. It feels almost wrong after years of pretending things never happened and alters keeping the memories away from you. I know it might not feel like it, but you are making incredible progress. Is there anything you can do to help Mishka? Does Mishka communicate much? It's scary when one alter is so destructive, but generally I find that working on communication helps to reduce the alter's need to force switches and to be quite so damaging.
Nerdxfighter - You're not a bother hun. PM me any time and I'd be more than happy to talk things through with you.
Autumn - Sorry things are so tough for you sweetie. Hope you guys are all ok and safe.
Katie - We're all different... Sorry that you feel out of place, because you really aren't. You are very welcome here and I look forward to your posts.
SD - Sorry that you zoned out and that you were upset. How are you feeling today?
Re: alters thread - I think it could be a good idea, maybe for people's littles to go and post. But I think there is a danger that people will feel left out and excluded or unsure where they should post?
***
I'm doing ok so far today, just feel really angry for some reason and fed up. Tonight I have to eat at a restaurant which I am dreading. I just feel like **** all the time and I hate it.
Katie~ why would you feel out of place? there is only 3 of us..(that we are sure of right now) you are here and i can say that at least for us.. and you know this.. we always accept you ..
well there is the butterfly playpark place for the littles, well not specifically for littles, but it's somewhere they can (and do) go.
I was just thinking as there have been a few posts over the last week or so where people have sdaid that they dissociate but don't feel that they belong here as it's gotten DID heavy... So just thought having somewhere for DID specific issues (like cross-gender stuff, how to deal with littles coming out in public places, etc.) could be an idea as it would open up this thread to more people at other points on the dissociative spectrum
hey Hannah~ thanks for replying. Hiding is doing alright I guess. she just feels..I dont know..crazy HA! tahnks for what you said about dissociative disorders.. she really appreciated that.. we all did. Just wish we could find something info wise about it. I mean yeah something happened to us in childhood at age 8 but not sure what and think it lasted a few mths..not yrs or anything. so not sure if that cause us all or if the 8 yrs with ex's EA was more at fault. I really dont know and dont care.. but Hiding really wants to know. She always just wants to know where she fits and belongs.*shrug*
so I try to help figure it out but I am not very good at it. and plus she was the one who took the psych classes so we think she should be able to figure it out.
i dont know where i blong now so i could be posting in totally wrong place
i dont know if this is me just being dissociated or another alter emerging but last night this got written in my book and i dont remember writing it (it was all written in capitals by the way but i just put it in normal)
and its scared me
The following content has been hidden - Reason : triggering and long big sui trigger
die jo die
get something right
die die die die die
you freak
you dirty whore
you useless piece of crap
noone likes you
noone
look your on your own you told them you felt bad but still the leave you on your own what does it mean? i can tell you jo! it means they hate you! it means you are nothing to them! they wont care! noone cares about dirty whores like you!now take the pills! all of them!
now die! die! die!
i hate you the most!
i am you!
i need you dead!
sorry i know its triggering
and i know they havent tried to harm me but yeah
sorry
"A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell 'em for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I'm a goner
And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin'
Funny when you're dead how people start listenin'"
"A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell 'em for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I'm a goner
And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin'
Funny when you're dead how people start listenin'"
"A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell 'em for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I'm a goner
And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin'
Funny when you're dead how people start listenin'"
Newlife - Whoever wrote that is completely and utterly wrong. You are none of those things - you are a special, wonderful person. I care about you and want you to stick around. Is there anyone around who could support you right now, do you have a therapist or psych? *Gentle hugs if it's ok*.
Hazel - Yeah I can see your point, the thread is quite DID heavy and I think it can be intimidating... Hmm shall have to have a ponder... How are you today?
Sadie and Hiding - I really understand the need to understand why and I know how frustrating it is not being able to find information. I am diagnosed with DDNOS and have often been frustrated about the lack of information about it. I think the EA will have played a huge part, but what happened when you were 8 is important too. I think these things are sometimes cumulative, caused by lots of different events, and can't always be pinned down to one thing. I know for me it's a mix of lots of different things. Sorry I know that doesn't really help!!
Emma - Hope you guys are ok today.
**
Just went to the gym, feel bit better for it but everyone's screaming at me.
The other thread was closed... so I'm going to reply to shadow here...
shadow.
we don't tend to tell people other than professionals - on a need to know basis. but the people that do know (so far) haven't disbelieved us. most of them are people I've been inpatient with, or REALLY trusted friends. we haven't really had that experience, but we can imagine how invalidating it would be.
Try not to put much merit into what they say. People are so often afraid of things they don't understand, so they say it's not true, or they attack... You know the truth,that's all that matters.
well my partner was ok about it, in fact when I first told him he said that he had already sort of known my psych at the time asked for him to come to an appointment so she could go though it all with him and I think that helped.
Other than that I haven't told many people, about 60% of my friends who I tild were ok with it but never really mentioned it again. The other 40% got obsessed asking questions and stuff before deciding that it was all made up... Suffice to say, after I told people the number of friends I had decreased. Had a few people online comment too saying and accusing nasty things :(
____________________
on a side note: I'm finding posting on this site harder and harder... feel as if contributing towards making others feel uncomfortable or unable to post... and don't want to do that
"A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell 'em for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I'm a goner
And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin'
Funny when you're dead how people start listenin'"
Hazel - I know the feeling, I feel like I'm too screwed up to be using this site to be honest. And yeah I avoid telling anyone unless I really have to, so my family know it's DDNOS but they don't know a lot about the alters and I don't talk about it, my partner knows and my professionals know, that's pretty much it apart from people I've been inpatient with.
"A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell 'em for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I'm a goner
And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin'
Funny when you're dead how people start listenin'"
i just feel like whereever i post i'm making others feel uncomfortable... like on the A&B board i feel like my psting discourages others as alll i'd be doing is adding to the numberof SA posts, and here feel like discouarging people who have dissociaitive disorders other than DID from psting by making them feel out of place or whatever. but scared to make my own thread as scared that some people on this site don't believe DID is real and so scared we would get nasty replies.
__
on a side note: Jack has just been helping Jess to make chocolate butterfly cakes, so now the kitchen is a mess lol
![[Fog]'s Avatar](images/avatars/12 - Copy.gif)
other thread died
my psych at the time asked for him to come to an appointment so she could go though it all with him and I think that helped.