Triggering (Abuse) - dissociative distress thread

[flying[star]]

do that then

[Kitkat :)]

Not soup because it's still a food. I don't have risotto... And I've never actually tried it.
I don't think we have any soups that I eat... I'm fussy with food as it is.

[[Fog]]

FlyingStar - How you doing?

Kathryn - You really need to eat something, especially as it is so hot. Are there any "safe" foods you could have? Is anyone around who could support you during eating and keep you company afterwards to avoid purging? Something liquid is a good idea, I know for me that often feels less scary.

Katie - That sounds like a disconcerting feeling. Perhaps your mind is just kind of giving you a break today? Or perhaps it's the weather - for me, the heat reacts with my meds and makes me much more dissociated than usual. I hope you are ok.

NB: I'm sorry to be such a whining idiot about this but as so many of us struggle with EDs I thought it might be helpful to remind everyone of the ED forum rules, which include not writing the names of any food items. The link is http://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum...hread.php?t=25 and are also on http://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum...ad.php?t=66012. Sorry if I'm being a nag or anything.

*

I feel crappy, just been asleep, I wish today would hurry up and end... Then again I have psychotherapy tomorrow and that's not exactly a happy prospect...

Hazel - How are you coping today?

[hidingme]

wow..
i figured somethings out while i was pming sombody here.
I thought i arrived during her marriage to the ex husband.. the @$#$ lol
BUT i was wrong- i just remember it more cause well that ws really when i first started coming out front occassionally to try to stop the E/A. but
pretty sure i first arrived when she (Hiding) was in HS. see- that is when the anxiety hit her hard core, she had troubles with friends, dpression problems, and had struggles with intense emotions..
well thing is.. as i thought more about this- i remember i was here then.. the thought those struggles of emotions were just her debating with her own thoughts.. ya know.. " im over reacting to such and such i need to stop it" then " "i cant stop it its too strong it takes over all logical stuff"
that sorta stuff. well that was me.
she just didnt know it,. cause i was way in the back and seemed as almost a whisper to her.
i never came out then cept once that i remember. maybe twice.
it would also explain my age range alot more too.
but hell i dont know all this investigating into our brain makes me tired its difficult. but Hiding wants to understand so believe or not im trying to help.
SADIE

[shadow-light]

today has not been too bad so far... though I really should go down to the shops - been putting it off all day

[hidingme]

hey shadow~
we understand procrastination!! HA! we need to clean house but dont wanna.i took a shpwer last night and finallly shaved our legs.. man.. gross.lol
any lazy days with rest are good to have.. god knows weve needed it alot lately.

SADIE

[[Fog]]

Sadie - Wow, that's a big revelation and one that I guess will take a while for you guys to adjust to, but I'm so glad to hear that you are trying to help Hiding :-]. Hope you are ok.

Hazel - Hurrah, I'm glad today has been ok for you.

I feel like absolute crap and feel so out of it.

[hidingme]

Hannah~
Yeah I do try to help more than Hiding and most other people think I do. its just sometimes i get mad for not being listened to and well guess that stands out more HA!

Sorry youre feeling like crap and out of it.. lately we always feel like that it seems or at least out of it for me HA!
If we can try to help let us know ok?
SADIE

[[Fog]]

Thank you Sadie :-].

I can see that you're really trying to help dear.

I'm going to go offline now and try and find reality!

[shadow-light]

I don't know whuy or what happened... but suddenly I am back to struggling... I'm sat here crying, and I don't even know why, I just don't want to be like this anymore

[hidingme]

hey shadow~
sorry youre feelin so bad. that sucks. hope ya feel better.

Hiding is "watching" again -- blah.. she wants me to tell ya to hang in there.. things will get better and offers safe hugs if you want them

Sadie (w/ Hiding)

[[Fog]]

Shadow *supportive hugs* have you spoken to jack today? Hope your evening gets better. Sadie how are you guys doing? I talked to my mum this evening about the flashbacks and how much im struggling with therapy and she was really nice Hope everyone is ok tonight x

[[Fog]]

Emma im so sorry youre struggling *holds hand*. Is there anything you can do to distract? Loves x

[l.e.g.o]

little jo is distressed i think
she saw some bad words last night that brought her memories
im sorry
so sorry

[shadow-light]

had about a 30second conversation with him earier, apparently he was on his way to a consert or something so couldn't talk for long

[l.e.g.o]

leaves lots of hugs
can you sleep emily?
xxx

[Kitkat :)]

Ayka let me eat, because I was close to fainting and I became really dizzy...

[hidingme]

Hannah~
we are doing alright today.. watching Edwards scissorhands .. sarah and I like it but she wont stop talking about stuff in the movie and just watch it. im not good with babysitting kids. not sure where Hiding is today.. she was looking over my shoulder and talking to us earlier but is quiet now.. maybe she went to sleep..we are kinda tired. How are yall?

Newlife- Crap I hope nothing me or sarah said in hide boxes triggered her.. sorry if it did..

Emily- try to rest and sleep.. maybe after some rest you/yall can think more clearly on a solution.

Kathryn~ Glad Ayka let you eat something. We dont have an ED but I am not crazy about eating either.. I usually let Sarah eat for us but I will always make sure we eat cause esp. right now our headaches are bad enough constantly on their own w.o us getting migraines from not eating when we should.. so ..umm..yeah..
Hope you are feeling better now.
SADIE

[hidingme]

hey just here for a bit to vent.. im reeaally overwhelmed with everything.. i mean 3 of us in my head ..wth?! feel crazy like i belong in a padded room or something. trying to remain calm and handle it in an adult and rational way but its not easy at all.
then Sadie talking to mom yesterday just flipped me out and then finding out she had been around since Highschool..omg..

Today has flown by.. tomorrow monday a whole 5 long days of 8 hr days at work.. so afraid Sadie will get pissed and tell someone off and get us fired and i wont be able to stop her.
if that happens we wont have ANY income that means we will lose everything and be homeless and i cant let that happen!!

****.. something really did happen when i was little.. was hoping the memories' bits were just parts of a bad dream i had when little. ugghh..

anxiety anxiety anxiety anxiety.. overwhelmed scared and terrified.. cnat cope with this right now..

im going back in..at least i can distract some and ignore my adult reality in there..
not sure about this week at work though.
sorry for whining..
Hiding

[Kitkat :)]

*hugs*
Hope you're okay.
PM me if you need to.