Frozen - sorry that you had such a bad experience with that T. That's really not good practice of them not to call you back for so long. I can understand your reluctance - Most of the psychologists/ therapists that I have seen kind of get distracted with illnesses that are not my core problem. And while that's interesting and helpful, it's only helpful to a point and doesn't deal with the cause of my problems. Are you able to apply for government-funded therapy again? It might be helpful for you to be able to talk about things, as well as treating symptoms with the psych. Hope you're doing ok today.
Ash and LostBoys - how are you doing at the moment? Are you coping with everything at school?
Shadow - lovely to see you about, have been wondering how you are doing. Glad that you have electricity back!! Hope things go well for you today, will be thinking of you. Let us know how it goes, and take care.
I feel a little better today. I went for an early morning jog with my mum which really helped to lift my mood in the morning. I haven't got much to do for the rest of the day now and I'm getting a bit lost in the fog, but hey I'm pleased I managed to get out the house and stuff. Hope everyone has a good day xx
Emma - eek that's not good! Hopefully your group will be understanding about your reasons for not going. Do you find the group helpful?
I'm enjoying my brief morning lucidity. This morning I decided I definitely need to go on medication to avoid things escalating even further, because right now I know that I'm very close to being at hospital admission point. Going to speak to my psych today. My CPN is coming round this afternoon too. Hope everyone has a good day xx
I'm only here breifly, only really online to find some phonenumbers lol.
The DEA yesterday has advised me to contact some charities about funding for education as I'm "not yet fit to work" and also to contact my GP about the possibility of seeing a social worker sounds scary to me lol
Labyrinth - I will miss seeing you around and talking to you. I wish you all the best in your recovery and hope that you find happiness in your life. I will be thinking of you, and hoping that you will pop in from time to time to let us know how you are doing. Take care.
StallionDuck - Glad to hear you sounding happy! And Franz doesn't need to worry, it's ok to post on this thread
Misery - Glad that you had a good chat with the host's husband. Hope that you are feeling ok this evening.
Shadow - I'm so relieved that they have given you some advice as to where to go to get funding. Don't be scared! I know it all sounds pretty official and stuff but these are just extra supports to help you. Hope that you are doing ok and that you have a good evening.
I'm pretty spacey this evening but the Voices aren't as bad as last night. Spoke to my psych this afternoon and he is going to look through my notes at previous meds because he was suggesting ones I have been on before disastrously... Everyone seems to be taking me more seriously now and I'm a bit scared because I'm pretty unwell now.
I don't know if what happens to me sometimes fits the dissociative distress
I already told that to a doctor but he didn't know how to explain the situation, he diagnosed me with recurrent depressive disorder (?)
What happens to me is that, sometimes I feel disconected, nothing and no one around me seems real, I feel I am not real...and I have some sort of sensory overload...the colors get too bright, voices get too loud, racing thoughts, I can't focus and concentrate on anything (which is hard, on my normal state I already am easily distracted)...I already saw a "other me" doing some absurd things... now something new came up: sometimes I hear whispers at night, but it's like loose conversations, sentences...the voices don't talk to me, it's like I am not even there and sometimes parts of my body get numb, it's like they are not there...I see my arm or leg and it's like they are an hologram or something...if I slap or punch them, for example, I feel nothing
I would like to share some ideas with who has the same thing, if there is someone
I write this alone on my bed; I've poisoned every room in the house; The place is quiet and so alone; Pretend there's something worth waiting for; There's nothing nice in my head The adult world took it all away; Wake up with same spit in my mouth; Cannot tell if it is real or not; I try and walk in a straight line An imitation of dignity- MSP - From despair to Where
I am human and I need to be loved just like everybody else does - The Smiths How Soon is Now
Ink - Welcome to the thread, it's nice to meet you. Can you do anything to try and relax you and calm you down like having a bath or going for a jog? Maybe that will help with the stress of the flashbacks. I hope it calms down for you soon and that you have a better evening.
Facet - Thank you, yes it is pretty frightening to be honest. I hope that things are hectic in a good way, and that you are doing ok.
Hope - It sounds like there is a lot going on for you at the moment and it sounds confusing and distressing *Comforting hugs*. Do you have a psychiatrist? Did your doctor refer you to get any help? I don't really want to comment on possible diagnoses and stuff as that is the place of a psychiatrist. But if you would ever like to talk about what you are going through, please feel free to PM me. I can relate to what you are describing and I would be happy to talk it through with you.
I have had a busy day today (well, busy for me anyway). I am barely eating so I'm exhausted now. The Voices have been present from the moment I woke up which is annoying. I feel like I might explode.
Don't think I've posted on here before but whatever, I'm fully out of it right now so perhaps it's a good time for an intro or rather to ask for help
I've been constantly dissociated since I was raped almost 4 years ago, I've become completely used to it and I don't even see it as a problem anymore. But then I started thinking about it and it actually is a problem which sucks.
I don't want to sound crazy but in this moment, every moment, I have no clue who i am, where I am, what's happening, what time it is etc.. and I really have to fish for the answers. I hide it well and get on with everything normally. I don't think any of what happened to me was real. I don't think this is real. The only thing I actually believe are the flashbacks and distress even though that's not real. WTF?! By accepting that this is real and that I am safe I also have to accept that *that stuff* was real and that I wasn't safe aaaaaand i really don't fancy that.
Been doing a lot of journaling because me and everyone in my system is terrified of the family session on Monday - discussing the abuse and the possible court proceedings should I choose to go in that direction. A little afraid because Dad never talks about his feelings and Mom gets overemotional and I just feel like a burden even though they are amazing and love me unconditionally. I'm afraid DID might be brought up..Mom feels awkward about it..it's an even bigger elephant in the room than the abuse itself. All she does is ask if any of them are "dangerous" and suggest I shouldn't drive anymore, though I have never had a problem with that.
I'm just scared.
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and also to contact my GP about the possibility of seeing a social worker 
sounds scary to me lol
What's going on? 
