Hey hun! Missed seeing you around here, been thinking of you. Hope that you are doing ok and that the financial stuff isn't getting you down too much. Don't know if you have credit but I can give you my number if you wanted some support when you can't get online. Take care hun xx
the financial stuff will work itself out eventually... hopefully...
as I said to the doctor the other day: If I ever didn't have finacial trouble I'd probably die of shock lol.
but ye... it's ok generally, just every now and then it gets to me... to be honest the lack of internet is the weorst as it means when I do have crisis moments I literally have no outlet and noweher to go...
thanks for the offer ~hugs~ but I'm phoneless currently, my mobiles screne broke the other day (ye, how many things can go wrong at once? lol) I think my contract has been terminated too, not sure though, should check but daren't lol
I know what you mean about not having financial trouble. I've been in debt ever since it was legal lol. Can't really imagine not having that creeping feeling that something is about to go wrong and cost just that bit too much...
I hope it works out for you hun. In the mean time keep safe xx
Is there any way you could get them to talk about why they are feeling so self destructive? Are they communicative at all? Maybe Emily or someone could help to calm them down? I hope that it settles down soon hun.
How is everyone doing today?
I noticed something this morning. I was making a lot of progress a few weeks back with my alters, communicating well and using my folder. Well it's all stopped. No communication whatsoever. It's like we've all gone back into our shells and hid. I guess it's because of what happened with hypno. Frustrating though because I was actually getting somewhere. And I wonder if maybe I just made it all up or something. I've not been doing very good lately. I don't know what the hell "reality" is but I'm definitely not in it.
hi am Misery am 12 i like Gothic art and music , i don't like girly stuff or pink
the husband said we could dye our hair purple .
but we have to make sure that the host isn't allergic to the dye ,
because she took an allergic reaction to dye before and burnt her scalp :firey:
she will have to do a skin test
i like the hosts cats the black one called Ninja is funny as he is sitting next to the lamp staring in to it
weird cat :rotlf:
Katie - Keep yourself safe tonight, I hope you are ok. If you need to work through anything feel free to PM me.
Misery - Nice to meet you I've dyed my hair purple before and loved it, but it fades really quickly (even permanent) so you would need to keep re-doing it. At the moment mine is red and I have to redo it every 2 weeks or so. Have fun!
Somehow a day seems to have gone by and I have no idea what I've done. I've just floated through it. Wish I could snap out of this but I guess it could be worse. My head is in a very odd place right now. On the plus side my mother has left her job and so has a few weeks before she starts a new one so that means we get to spend time together which will be nice. Just wish I could get myself in the same friggin reality as her. Boyfriend coming over tomorrow can't wait! Just got to get through tonight really want to wander and run away but trying to hang on so I get to see my boyfriend. Hope everyone having good day x
Emma - sounds great I love going shopping for/ with the littles it's so much fun!
Katie - poor you having to work on a Saturday. Hope you have a nice relaxed night.
My boyfriend came round today and we had a lovely day, though I was not great company to be honest, as I was very spacey and very over-sensitive food wise... But we had a nice day and he's very kind about it all. Hope everyone has a good night x
Feeling unsafe. unsure of the host's husband , he seems very nice but am unsure weather he will think
am being stupid because i have a few things am worried about and am unsure how to tell him
Misery - I'm sure he won't think you're being stupid hun. It's best to say your worries out loud to someone you can trust like the host's husband. Hope you are doing better today.
I feel sad. I've been spacing out a lot lately. i'm not sure what's wrong. i've been getting very upset for no reason. also just been staring at the wall for a long time unable to really do anything. when my bf tries to talk to me when i get like that i can respond somewhat but it's hard to keep a straight train of though. I wish he was here but he's at work. :(
Frozen - I'm pretty similar right now. Do you know what's making you sad? Is there anything that you are finding hard to cope with, which could be bringing on the spacing out? Keep trying to keep yourself going and occupied. Does being active help you at all? It will pass sweetie.
I've been really spacey too lately. I spend hours and hours just standing completely still and silent staring at the wall. My mind is so loud and crowded there just isn't room for thoughts like "let's move". I just get paralysed by it. I'm seeing my psych today will let you know how it goes.
*hugs* i'm sorry to hear you're going through the same thing. i'm a little better now. i think part of it might again be that i keep running across religious things that really for some reason trigger me into these episodes. But it's like when I see them I have to look at more cause it's like I want to remember but then I freak out and zone out. Thing is the past wasn't even that traumatic. I apparently have some issues with the way everything was handled though or these things wouldn't be upsetting me. They don't even seem that upsetting at the time but it seems like it triggers episodes so it must be.
I can understand wanting to get close to triggering things to try and find out what's going on. It's frustrating when your mind decides to cut you out and zone out, but it's just protecting you. Maybe you're not ready to remember these things yet. I've probably asked you this before, but are you getting therapy? Because it would be safest to delve into these memories and issues in therapy so you don't kind of flood yourself with more than you can deal with at once.
And I can understand the feeling that something seemed ok at the time but now seems to be causing problems. It might be that you managed to bottle up the pain at the time so it didn't seem so bad then, but you are still holding onto these emotions and feelings and haven't been able to deal with them and move on yet.
I had therapy but they cut it off. It was government funded and I think they try to keep those as short as possible due to funding. I tried to go to a private therapist and I saw her once and then I kept calling her back and she wouldn't return phone calls. Finally a secretary returned a call saying I needed a psychiatrist and I explained I was going to one. Why I need a psych to see a therapist anyway doesn't make sense to me, but I was seeing one anyway. So they said they'd call my case manager and call me back. That was a few months ago. So I gave up. I seriously called them like 4 times before that reply. I can't really justify calling them over and over when I'm paying for private anyway. Like I know it might be a good idea to see a therapist but I really don't have the money and I'm not sure if my mom will pay the copay or not. Plus my last one kept focusing on stuff I didn't really need and didn't want to deal with why I was dissociating. She just kept giving me stuff to do while i'm dissociating. Which was fine, but that's not always possible if you get too far gone and don't even know what's going on. I'd kinda like to deal with why my brain is doing it as well to keep from going there in the first place. So I'm kinda afraid another therapist will do the same and it will be a waste of time and money.
Hey frozen,
Sorry your therapy situation sucks so much...
I wanted to say that I can really relate to the frustration when therapists/psychs want to focus on the management of dissociation (or any issue really), it can be extremely frustrating when you want to know why, or feel like you aren't able to manage it.
But at the beginning of therapy, the first step is stabilization. It is actually really important to make sure the client has adequate tools and strategies to manage distress/dissociation (whatever the issue is) before jumping into the past and the causes.
I remember when I started therapy (before the DID diagnosis) and being SO frustrated that the professionals i were seeing just DID NOT GET how difficult things were, and seemed to be giving me all this trivial crap to try and deal with this overwhelming material and not looking at why it was happening. But they need to make sure you can manage the emotions (and behaviours that can occur as consequences of the emotions) before dropping you in the deep end.
I do though, understand your frustration, and can imagine it is so much more frustrating when money is an added factor.
Thinking of you
we have electrisity back!!! still no phone, nor internet, though :(
Have an appointment with a DEA today (hence being in town and so online) which is going to be fun as we are very switchy today lol (possibly due to being outside of the "safe boudry" and so anxious and agoraphobiay... kind of feel like being dangled over a clifff with no idea when going to be dropped
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I've dyed my hair purple before and loved it, but it fades really quickly (even permanent) so you would need to keep re-doing it. At the moment mine is red and I have to redo it every 2 weeks or so. Have fun!
I love going shopping for/ with the littles it's so much fun!
