Hi there - just wondering if there's any other people who have suffered with SI problems who have grown up with a disabled sibling? Just cos 2 out of 3 people I know who have; - have self harmed, so I'm beginning to wonder...
Just a little background about my situation - My brother has fairly severe cerebral palsy, high end autism, severe learning difficulties, partial sightedness (his brain can't process the images from both eyes at the same time, so he only ever sees through 1 eye, and which eye it is constantly flicks and changes)
and various other more minor things like hyperacusis.
I have recently linked some of the reasons for my self harm to the experiences i had as a child, feeling inferior i think relates back to everyone treating my brother as the 'special one' and I was just the other one. Also all his medical stuff - to cut a long story short has lead me to see medical care as love. (feel VERY silly for saying this.. please don't ask too many questions about this bit, just wanted to illustrate to others who've grown up with disabled siblings how it can affect the way you think and feel about yourself)
I love him to pieces, and wouldn't change him for the world - just wish I'd had more support with this stuff growing up.
Any body else out there?
~~I'm FINE...on the outside~~
~~Beneath the surface lies a shattered heart and an exhausted soul, simply longing... just longing to be whole~~
My brother has autism, dyslexia, and a mood disorder similar to bipolar, although I don't believe he is diagnosed bipolar. To be honest I have a very difficult time remembering my childhood. (I dont know why, I'm only 20). I don't believe I was ever envious of my brother with the exception of one time his medication made him very sick (almost a comatose like state). I have grown up knowing I was very loved and wanted......I think my SI issues are all my own. However living with my brother, my father (bipolar and aspergers) and my mom ( a lot of physical health issues) has always caused a lot of stressed and worry which I suppose affects my SI. I have never SI for attention.....
I do know how difficult it can be. I used to get frustrated when my friends would say how they liked my brother or how sweet he is and how terrible I was for ever getting angry with him. He is my brother, all siblings fight, but because he was 'special' it was wrong for me to ever get mad at him....
Please feel free to PM me if you want, if only for a vent
You will find that having is not so pleasing a thing as wanting. It is not logical, but is often true-Spock
I'd rather have a goddam horse. A horse is at least human, for God's sake. ~J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye
My brother is severely autistic with mental retardation and recently, severe self injurious behaviors. He had many health issues during his first 3 years. My sister and I both have a history of self injury. I began self injuring shortly after my brother was born, and I think that partly has to do with the stress that comes with the realization that a family member has a serious disability, and then dealing with it. I can relate to your feelings of being ignored. I felt like that when I was younger, too. On top of that, as the oldest, I was often given the responsibility of taking care of both my sister and brother, especially during the times when my mom was drinking a lot. There were a number of other factors, but I know that my brother's disabilities have had a huge emotional impact on me and my whole family.
It's very common for siblings to have different sets of issues which arise from having a family member with disabilities or dependencies. They can trigger grief, fear, anxiety and a ton of other feelings that need to be taken care of. I wish I had more support growing up as well. Having a family member with any sort of disorder is always difficult, and sadly children are often the most affected by it.
PM me if you want to talk. :) Take care!
Just what am I supposed to say?
And tell you why I turned out this way?
Don't make me. Don't make me.
My sister is severely learning disabled (almost to the point of being mentally retarded, sorry if that's not the correct term for it) and I know how difficult it is to grow up with someone like that.
The environment I grew up in was very stressful because of her (amongst other things) and it did lead to me self-injuring more because I couldn't cope with her and all the fighting and everything else that was going on.
Do you have anyone you can talk to about your feelings towards this?
Both my siblings are legally blind and diabetic and they weren't diagnosed till there teens and it was when they were diagnosed was when I started to self harm more often and more aggressively. I think it was partly due to their prognosis (which has since changed for the better) but going from g
having able bodied siblings growing up to things changing completely was a huge thing in my life and at the time I was struggling with many things but their problems did have a massive impact on my self harm. Not them themselves though... Just the massive challenge and scariness of what was happening to them. Now they are probably both more high functioning then me and I couldn't be without them but sometimes it is really hard to live with their disabilities as I'm sure it is for them with mine.
My brother has autism, dyslexia, and a mood disorder similar to bipolar, although I don't believe he is diagnosed bipolar. To be honest I have a very difficult time remembering my childhood. (I dont know why, I'm only 20). I don't believe I was ever envious of my brother with the exception of one time his medication made him very sick (almost a comatose like state). I have grown up knowing I was very loved and wanted......I think my SI issues are all my own. However living with my brother, my father (bipolar and aspergers) and my mom ( a lot of physical health issues) has always caused a lot of stressed and worry which I suppose affects my SI. I have never SI for attention.....
I do know how difficult it can be. I used to get frustrated when my friends would say how they liked my brother or how sweet he is and how terrible I was for ever getting angry with him. He is my brother, all siblings fight, but because he was 'special' it was wrong for me to ever get mad at him....
Please feel free to PM me if you want, if only for a vent
OK thanks for your reply, but I think you misunderstood some things...
I was never envious of my brother either - at the time I just accepted it as how life is. It's only looking back I can see the impact my family's comments and actions had on my self esteem. NOTHING to do with envy.
I have never self injured for attention either - it started off very secretly, and it was only when things got to critical point that I asked for help. Seeing medical care ... maybe I didnt put it quite right, it's more like seeing that someone actually bothers to treat me - like proving to me in my head (or trying to) that I'm worth the same as everyone else. VERY different to purely SIing for attention.
~~I'm FINE...on the outside~~
~~Beneath the surface lies a shattered heart and an exhausted soul, simply longing... just longing to be whole~~
Hi, I know it may not be seen the same as having disabled siblings but both my parents are disabled. My mum has severe mental health issues and has been quite an aggressive self-harmer in her time. My dad has a lot of physical health issues as well, landing him in hospital for months at a time before. Other than the obvious comment of "you learned s/h from your mum", I have no idea whether anything about my parents caused my behaviour. I know it's very stressful, but even like you said, at the time when you're in it, you just deal with it because you don't know any other way. I guess it is a good idea to think through these things now though to try and come to terms with whatever it is that has caused you problems. It's very difficult growing up with anyone who is sick because you love them and care about them.
Do not be dismayed by the brokenness of the world. All things can be mended. Not with time, as they say, but with intention. So go. Love intentionally, extravagantly, unconditionally. The broken world awaits in darkness for the light that is you.
my half brother has musclur dystraphy, however, I was self-harming before he was born.
My aunt has munchausens, and the main reason for this is that her brother (so my uncle) had lukimia and musclur dystraphy and so from a young age she started to assosiate medical care with attention and sympothy, or with love I guess... So now she basically pretends to be ill, or actually makes herself ill, in order to gain sympathy from others.
Due to my aunt I have looked into the effects of growing up with an ill sibling/parent and seemingly this assosiation of medical care with love/attention/sympathy/care/etc is a fairly common one - so you're not "odd" or anything like that (just incase you thought that you were :P )
My brother is severely autistic and also self injures. It has definately contributed to many of my mental health problems. When he got diagnosed my dad went though a mildly abusive phase toward me and my brother and that started my depression. Also he frequently throw fits where he screams nonstop for hours, breaks things, and hurts himself and anyone who gets too close to him. When this happens it often triggers anxiety attacks for me and sometimes I end up cutting/burning to relieve this stress. So yes, I know exactly what you're talking about.
