It's been a rough week, and I guess I've just been feeling pretty alone.
I've been struggling for this summer with some old eating disorder habits and it got me wondering.
My mom, putting it gently, is a jerk. It seems like any time she can, she tries to put me down. She's overly dramatic, and overall just makes me feel like a horrible person all the time.
I was wondering if there's anyone else out there who faces this ridicule from their parent. I've tried to talk to my friends about it, they just tell me "don't listen to her." What they don't understand, is that it's easier said than done.
A part of me (most of me) hates my mother for everything she's done. But, on the other hand, she is my mom, right? I think I'm just angry that you only get one mom, and I had to get this one, who cares for no one but herself.
I'm honestly just tired of trying to make her happy, and realistically, I know nothing will ever make her happy. She's just a miserable person. But I still feel overwhelmed with guilt when she's mad at me. Whether it's I didn't clean a room, I don't 'hang out' with her, I'm not pretty enough, whatever.
I feel like an awful person for hating her, but it's gotten to the point where her behavior towards me makes me absolutely miserable. I've tried to talk to her, but nothing works. She believes she is never in the wrong.
I know I've been rambling, but I'm at a loss. I just was looking to see if there was anyone else out there with someone like this in their life, and hoping for a success story. From where I'm standing, the rest of my life isn't looking too happy.
Thanks. :)
I personally have a background of
many days on end of
confusion, understimulation, overstimulation, and uncomfortableness
with the world around me.
Hey hun. *Hugs* I Definitely understand how you feel. My stepdad is the same way. It's very hard and people don't understand at all. It's hard to cope and hard to be around that person because they just always bring you down and make you feel bad...
I don't have much advice for you, since I am still struggling with it, but just know, you're not alone. If you ever want to talk, just PM/IM me.
I hope things get better.
xLeah
Stayed up too late and it hurts to breathe
Said it's 4 A.M., girl go back to sleep
Sometimes at night I can hear her dreams;
Hold onto me.
my parents threw me out when I was 16 (7 years ago) and now take every chance they can to insult me or put me down. Before they threw me out they were even worse, but we won't get into that. You're right the whole "just don't listen" thing is much easier said than done... I don't have much advise, the siturtion between myself and my parents has gotten to the point where I am thinking that just cutting them out of my life is the easiest solution, but that is also easier said than done
Do you know why your mum is this way? I think that in these siturations the first step to resolving it is to nderstand why the situration is that way to start with
I know that she's depressed (which, haha, she blames on me) but honestly, everything else she claims that is wrong with her isn't.
And, hey. I'm depressed too. But I don't feel the need to constantly bring everyone else down. She loves to use it as an excuse and she also believes, no one has it worse off than her. It's the most frustrating thing ever.
And I don't think it's fair that she gets to use her 'depression' as an excuse. I'll tell my friends, 'oh, my mom said this to me' or 'oh, my mom called me this' and always it's "well, she's depressed. she can't help it. it's how she is"
No. That's not how things are supposed to work here. It's just emotionally exhausting. I can never do anything right. And it's tough being told time & again by your own mother, that you basically just suck at life.
How am I supposed to go through life feeling confident about myself, when I'm constantly told by her that I'm awful, ugly & will never amount to anything.
You know? Ugh.
I personally have a background of
many days on end of
confusion, understimulation, overstimulation, and uncomfortableness
with the world around me.
does she get any help for the depression? I don't have that much first hand experiance of depression myself, but from what I know of it I don't see why her being depressed should make her insult others, but if that is the cause than her getting some help for it may be best for everyone (herself included)
Being put down and insulted all the time is a painful and soul destroying thing, people seem to ignore the damage it can cause and assume that those effected are just overreacting, but when you are told these things ove rand over again it doesn't take long for you to believe it... it strips away your confidence, your self-worth, and even starts of erode your sence of indentity and self eventually. Esspecially when it comes from someone who society tells us should love and care for us.
Yeah, she gets help for it. She's on medications, she sees doctors. All that jazz.
She's not a terrible person, unless she's around me, my sister, or dad. So go figure. She's just a miserable person and I don't understand why she just can't grow up.
Thanks for the replies though. At least I know I'm not crazy for not being her biggest fan. My friends are always telling me 'you can't reallllly hate her.' But I really think I do. She's done nothing for me, except diminish the small amount of self confidence I had.
I personally have a background of
many days on end of
confusion, understimulation, overstimulation, and uncomfortableness
with the world around me.
I think maybe you have to be really honest and talk to her, as you say you only get one mum, maybe you need to show her how you really feel before it gets to a point of no return.
"Its not how long a star shines, what is remembered is the brightness of the light"
I've stopped going to talk to anyone, because it wasn't getting me anywhere. They all told me to 'talk it out' with mom. It was a waste of time and money.
I personally have a background of
many days on end of
confusion, understimulation, overstimulation, and uncomfortableness
with the world around me.
I had the same problem with my old stepdad, he used to always make me feel like I'd never amount to anything just because I don't have a job and I'm not in college like my brother and sister
What I found worked was seeing him less and less and then eventually just cutting off all contact with him
I know it's easier said than done to do it but in my experience it's a lot easier if you just cut them out your life slowly
Do you live with your mum at the moment?
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She hasn't been getting along with my dad, me or my sister, so she left.
We still see her, but she doesn't live with us.
I think there's plans of her moving back next week? I don't know.
I don't know what goes on in her head.
She leaves a lot. Whenever something doesn't go her way, she throws a fit and leaves. It's quite annoying.
I personally have a background of
many days on end of
confusion, understimulation, overstimulation, and uncomfortableness
with the world around me.
I can't offer you any awesome advice or anything...I just wanted to say that I know where you're coming from, and if you need someone to vent to you're welcome to PM me. My dad also struggles with depression, and he's also a serious jerk. I understand how frustrating it is do deal with, especially when people make excuses for him. You're right, that's not how it should go.
The hate thing, though...do you have any safe outlets? Anger is a poison, especially when you can't show it to anyone around you. Do you journal, or have anything you could use to express some of that rage? It might really help you to have some way of letting that off.
