I did something really stupid today. I watched a horror film, the back looked safe, I thought I'd try it, I used to love them. I barely made it twenty minutes when I had to turn it off. Within that time, there had been a vivid description of RSA, I started screaming. I was alone in the house too. I didn't know what to do.
I woke up a few minutes ago, so I lost about three hours. Thankfully no one SI'ed or OD'ed.
Just need some support. :S
System A
Sophie Mandi Max Gwen Mercy Erin AVA Tracey Bridget My Isaac
Thanks for comforting all of us, Hannah/insanitylives. Black has been inside all day today at work and has calmed down enough to talk. She may go a little long. I'm sorry we're all such a bother :/.
Before we went to sleep last night, Jen and White were talking about adult stuff, like work and college and getting married. I'm too young to do any of that stuff! I'm so afraid of Jen getting another boyfriend or getting married. Because I have to be in this body too when they...do things. The older the body gets, the less Jen wants to listen to me. I want out!
So I cut the body up. But it doesn't help. I'm still back here. This is the most I've been out in years, and I'm just so full of words, words, words. But I can't say all of them here.
My name is Matt, and I am a boy. Feel free to PM me :)
I have learned that the world is not a safe place. Not at all. But there are so many people who love me and want to keep me safe. And that is enough.
A thousand mile journey starts with the first step
Join Date: Oct 2009
I am currently:
I wish Ayka would calm down enough to talk. Well, rationally at least.
Black - Why don't you think Jen will want to listen to you? You may be young but I'm sure she won't ignore you completely. Cutting the body won't help, it'll just put Jen under more strain.
Also if you cut the body then Jen will be less likely to listen you anyway. What I've learnt is that you must be subtle with what you want and how you go about getting it, because then you are more likely to get it. But you have to be nice.
Crystal.
Before we went to sleep last night, Jen and White were talking about adult stuff, like work and college and getting married. I'm too young to do any of that stuff! I'm so afraid of Jen getting another boyfriend or getting married. Because I have to be in this body too when they...do things. The older the body gets, the less Jen wants to listen to me. I want out!
So I cut the body up. But it doesn't help. I'm still back here. This is the most I've been out in years, and I'm just so full of words, words, words. But I can't say all of them here.
Ye, adult stuff is scary isn't it? I'm 23 but still a bit iffy about adult things.
For when Jen and male people do "things" is there any way you can sort of hide inside and not be about for it? I know every system is diferent, but the younger ones in our system go elsewhere when we have adult type conversations as it stresses them, and in fact when there are me and partner adult things everyone appart from myself go inside away from it all (or that's what's meant to happen anyway, doesn't always go to plan).
Would that be possible for you?
We all appreciate your replies so much. It's made everyone inside feel a little better.
In response to your suggestion about "adult things," it's the same as you said, shadow--sometimes that works, sometimes it doesn't.
And really, Black isn't overreacting or anything--I have been ignoring her for a long time. I'm going to college in the fall, and I guess I just want all of this to be over. And she represents all the stuff I'd rather forget, so I tried to just shove her down. But as last night demonstrates, that's not really a good idea.
Holy crap, we have a lot to tell our therapist. We are definitely bringing our blankie to our next session.
Last edited by PaleMoon : 14-06-2010 at 12:13 AM.
Reason: typo
My name is Matt, and I am a boy. Feel free to PM me :)
I have learned that the world is not a safe place. Not at all. But there are so many people who love me and want to keep me safe. And that is enough.
