Reading - Problem?

[Margo]

My spelling is terrible. always has been. I dont think im dyslexic tho.

however my reading is a problem i guess. i mean i can read. but i hate reading. I panic. I get nervous. Im always the slowest to finish reading something. to compensate i skip or skim read. I try and pick out key words and then kinda guess what the thing is about.

eprsonally i think im stupid.

In therapy yesterday this came up again. I was probably read to as a kid although i just really dont remember it at all! nothing.

what i do remember of reading is NEVER reading a book at school and when it came to homework id ask my mum to read it for me and then id try and answer the questions.

In therapy my therapist said this sounds like my needs were never met. she said surely if you had to ask for things to be read andf your mother never wondered why, that i was neglected in this area.

At work on wednesday i couldnt read something on the board. I paniced and it was all blurred. when i worry i cant read lists. i couldnt find the code for some cheese.

When ui had my old job i would have to read huge manuals and technical documents. i could spend aday reading and it would be like id read nothing. Id really struggle. Somehow i got thru. i havent for the life of me any clue how!

On the odd occasion i find a book i can get into and like i cant put it down. Ill carry it everywhere - into the loo and bath and shower almost. sits on the sink when i wash my face.

personally i think im lazy.

Was just wondering if what ive described is just me being below intelligence? lazy, ignorant. or what?

Im too old and i have no memory retention to learn anything new.

[Stellata]

You're never too old to learn! And you're younger than me, yes? I'm still learning.

I'm sort of the wrong person to talk to about reading, because I pretty much have the opposite problem. Books became my relationships, rather than people. I would disappear into reading to cut off the pain of what was going on around me. My mum would read to me during meals to get me to eat. When I was older, I would read girls comic book stories and comics during meals to shut out Dad's moodiness and the noise of the TV and everything. And now I work in a library, heh!
But my point is, uh. What was my point?

You're not stupid. A part of things has been neglected for you, and I hear that you're sad and angry and frustrated about that. Plus it fuels the down on yourself mind set.
Reading's not for everyone. But if you want to, there's things out there to help, and stuff to read that you might be interested in.

[griddlebone]

Youre never too late to learn!

I dont think its laziness or unintelligence or anything like that.I think it was probably lack of support from school/possibly from parents too. The thing is, left to their own devices most children wont read and it has to be drilled into kids.

I work with children who get no support reading wise at home. I give them an extra hour a week reading support, Ive been doing this for not even a year and 2 of the children have leapt up 3 reading levels and are actually above their target for this year. These are children that were being written off as lazy etc, theyre not....they just werent given the amount of help that was needed.

You'll find (and this especially applies to young boys) that in schools they find it really hard to engage some children in reading. Because some children prefer non-fiction or poetry or something similar and its now the schools job to find out what it is that children want to read and start from there. So I think really that the school you were at probably dropped the ball with you, I assume they didnt have teaching assistants etc at the time (or not many) and so you didnt have that extra support.

But it really is never too late to learn and it would be quite easy for you I think. Because you can skim/pick out key words etc thats a good sign, theres just some fundemental things missing.

I dont think youre lazy or stupid at all though.xx

[[Purple_Rain]]

I just wanted to say that, specificlaly after this bit

Quote:

i could spend aday reading and it would be like id read nothing. Id really struggle. Somehow i got thru. i havent for the life of me any clue how!

i wouldn't rule dyslexia out. I'm dyslexic and usually have to read things a minimum of two tiems to get any meaning out of it; the first tiem I read it it is soley 'mechanicnal' i.e. i'm translating what i see on the page to words in my head. The secodn time around the words get meaning. Sometimes it takes more tiems than that, ebcuase I forget what i've read; part of my dyslexia affects my short term memory.

Even if you arn't dyslexic I dont think you are lazy or stupid. That's like calling someone who can't swim very fast or ride a bike well they are lazy, when really they just havn't be taught properly.

[startingagain]

Maybe it would be worth being assessed for dyslexia. It is also an idea to see an optician and have an assessment for Irlen overlays.

There are lots of ways to compensate if you find it difficult to read and you should ask for support.

[shadow-light]

I'd agree with not ruling out the idea of dyslexia, a few parts of what you described do sound like it.


But regardless I don't think it's stupidity nor laziness, you just didn't get taught nor have the support when you were at the stage in life when people generally learn to read. I don't think it's too late to improve though, Ive seen adult classes in literacy been run all over the place, maybe that would be something to consider?

[random.swirls]

I don't think your stupid I personally love reading but my sister hates it and will do anything to not read. I know that as I'm a real book worm I am a very fast reader however, my sister who buys magazines 'for the pictures' is very slow.

I think sometimes it can be due to practice and if you have a fear about it then maybe it perpetuates it - I guess like if you hate going on the tube because you got lost and it was crowded and horrid every time you go on the tube you then panic - maybe that is what happens now when you read?

I guess if you want to improve your reading skills why not try some teenage fiction? Some of it is actually quite enjoyable and the older more classic books like 'biggles' are probably better than the more fashionable newer books?

I would also say don't rule out dyslexia

[Bitter_Angel]

I would say that you can read, but probably lack the confidence and atention span.
When you get into a book, your concentration and attention are focused on said book, making it easier to read, hence why you can read it.

But stuff that has not caught your attention right away is a little harder to keep focused on and your mind wanders away from what it is reading.

How do you find reading on here? and the likes of msn and WoW?

Maybe start out setting a time to read aside each day. Start with a magazine or newspaper and just read maybe one article. Build up towards short stories. Watch films with subtitles, find more books that intrest you and grab your attention.

Your not stupid Matt, you have a good brain in there, it just needs exercising a little.

[ihaverabbits]

stupid and lazy? hell no! too old to learn? hell no! i am 42 and i learn all the time.

i'd say that if you can manage to hold a job while just picking out key words you are really quite intelligent! you can improve your reading skills if you want to. you may need help and it may be work, but it can be done. i'm not saying you should or shouldn't, just that it is possible.

i have a similar problem with math. any math. i look at all those numbers and symbols and my head starts to pound. i hate to admit it, but whilst working on my degree i took the accounting and statistics on line and had a friend do them for me. it seemed ridiculous that someone who wants to work with troubled kids should be shut out of that because of a bunch of numbers. i could improve my math skills, i just don't see a need to do so at this time.

the choice is yours. you can improve, but if you are doing ok as you are, then that is fine. no need to beat yourself up. i can read and spell and write papers with half my brain and one eye tied behind my back. maybe you can do math, or paint walls or fix cars. or order cheese. we all have our talents. maybe you should look at what you can do well and not focus so much on reading.

[NowTheLantern]

It simply seems ninjapenguin, that technical manuals don't interest you at all, and neither does spelling. You say you have no trouble carrying around a book that interests you though. That's not laziness, it's disinterest.

No one would expect someone that hates American Football to be able to list the whole offensive line of the New York Giants. That doesn't mean they're lazy. It means they don't give a crap.

If you are worried about your reading skills, the easiest way to hone them is to find books similar to the ones you find you can't put down, and continue reading the books you know you like already and the books that seem to be like the books you enjoy. This will strengthen your skills in a way that is pleasurable for you.

I was in my middle teens when I finally learned to read, but that's how I did it. I read 'All Creatures Great and Small' over and over.

[CagedBird]

I think your assumption that you are 'lazy/below intelligence' is your depression speaking because personally from what you wrote I'm not sure why you have ruled out dyslexia.
I was diagnosed with dyslexia at the end of my uni degree as I went on the off chance for an assessment. Up to that point I had just assumed I was an idiot and in school and uni I was forever trying to cover up my difficulties because I was ashamed to admit to them. My mum is actually a teacher and she never realised I had a learning disability so I don't think it shows neglect of needs, you were probably super smart and were able to cover up your difficulties!
When I read text books it takes at least 2-3 reads to understand what the heck they are saying, it is as though the words get disjointed into 3 mini sentences that don't make sense together. And whilst we're on the topic i'm also not that fond of the smilies in the corner of the text boxes on forums either as they are super distracting! I think I have a fairly good memory so I have learnt lots of spellings by rote but generally my spelling is appalling and I constantly have to substitute words. My written text is incrediably dumb in comparison to my spoken vocab.
Probably like you, I have major self esteem issues relating to learning difficulties. Everyone just assumed that I made silly mistakes all the time because I didn't concentrate enough. I knew that I did concentrate and therefore felt like a completely stupid. So I wouldn't rule out a learning difficulty.

[Margo]

Perhaps it is lack of practice. 40 years too late. :/

I wish i had a memory to retain things. you know i can read something and although ill get the general gist of things i wont remember a single name :/

I think my brain is pretty addled.

Again funnily i can read a sentence and it mean nothing. % times later i think oh yeah. Christ i read that totally wrong. Its like someone swapped the page half way thru.

I remember at school having to read aloud. I hated it. Oddly because i was good at acting i would always be chosen to read things at parent evenings and stuff. Id memorise most of it.

I also remember being shouted at for not being able to spell a word correctly. We had an english class with a load of bottom setters for some reason (i was in top set) and i got the most simple word wrong. the teacher proceeded to tell the whole class that the gilr 5 sets below could spell it correctly and i couldnt.

If it was dyslexia then why dont i spell all words incorrectly? I dont. Its just the ones i cant remember. I spell phonetically. I find it almost impossible to see the word in my head. good spellers almost always visualise.

When i do read somethign my eyes wander. Its hard to stay on the same line.

If you look at the paragraph below and see the bold letters and imagine thats the movement of my eyes from left to right when i read the top line, then this is exactly what happens the first time i read something.


The man sat on a tree and watched thw world go by, whilst stroking a kitten.The man sat on a tree and watched thw world go by, whilst stroking a kitten.The man sat on a tree and watched thw world go by, whilst stroking a kitten.The man sat on a tree and watched thw world go by, whilst stroking a kitten.The man sat on a tree and watched thw world go by, whilst stroking a kitten.The man sat on a tree and watched thw world go by, whilst stroking a kitten.The man sat on a tree and watched thw world go by, whilst stroking a kitten.The man sat on a tree and watched thw world go by, whilst stroking a kitten.


Meh waffle sorr.y

[[Purple_Rain]]

Quote:

If it was dyslexia then why dont i spell all words incorrectly? I dont. Its just the ones i cant remember. I spell phonetically. I find it almost impossible to see the word in my head. good spellers almost always visualise.

When i do read somethign my eyes wander. Its hard to stay on the same line.

If you look at the paragraph below and see the bold letters and imagine thats the movement of my eyes from left to right when i read the top line, then this is exactly what happens the first time i read something.

I am dyslexic. Look thruogh all of my posts, I do not spellevery word wrong, infact, sometimes i can spell the really complex words right (bcuase i've made a specific effort to learn them) and the simple words wrong. For years I spelt went with a H, 'whent'

the eyes not staying in the same place is a very ccommon sign of dyslexia. try reading again but somhow changing the color of the page (if you can get a bit of clear plastic to go over it) and see if that helped. It's called scotophic sensistive syndrome.

[hirple.]

Just about the dyslexia: my brother's dyslexic and he did a programme that involved going to the optician's and having a colour test thing which sought out the colour from a spectrum that would help his eyes to focus on the words without jumping about. He ended up first with the coloured overlay (I think it was light green but it varies from person to person) and then coloured glasses so that it was more practical for him. He also did exercises to help develop the cerebellum in the brain which apparently plays a part in dyslexia. He had to do things like stand on a wobble board and recite his two times tables, then once he'd improved he had to go faster with them or backwards, for example. Another thing he had to learn to do was visualise a word, always on this wobble board, then spell it backwards. That showed that he was visualising it and really helped him to improve his spelling ability - it's something that you can improve at the more you practise.

[Bitter_Angel]

All my way through primary school, I was kept in every break to sit and write lines because my spelling was awful. My teacher poked fun at me because my writting was like 'monkey scrawl.'

in senior school, my english teacher poked fun that I could get an a* if they didnt take spelling and handwritting into account, but because they did I would never get higher than a D, a C at a push.

When I went to college, I could never spell the passwords for the computer programs we had to use so my teacher insisted that I be tested. I was tested and told I was dsylexic. However, because I had managed to get through my GCSEs I was told that i didnt need support. When i got to uni, they reassessed me and got me tons of support because they felt I should have equal circumstances to other students.

I had to have velcro shoes up until half way through juniors as i couldnt tie my laces, I only used a digital watch until I got to seniors. Mum used to take me to work with her of a weekend and make me do filing to help improve my letters, but I used to write the alphabet up my arm under my top so I could actully do it. There are so many other things apart from just reading.

But the point is, some people are blind to it and as a result you learn your own ways of compensasting. You fill in the gaps with what you think is said.

But its never to late to learn. Take a highlighter to the book your reading, try to just bold the bits (such as names) that you think will fall out your brain most or write notes.

There are ways and means
oh and, most the time I dont know i am spelling things wrong.