Triggering (SI/OD) - Emergency Room Experiences (Triggering for anything, really)
Hey, I want to know what people's experiences have been like with Emergency Rooms (A&E, whatever you call it) when you have to go in for self-harm/overdose/suicide attempt etc. Basically anything self-inflicted, or if you go in and they find old self-inflicted wounds/scars.
Good and bad experiences welcome! I'll start the ball rolling.
The first time I went in I can honestly say all I remember is some muffled talking and the stain on the roof that reminded me of the episode of Madeline when she had her appendix removed. The second time I went in, though, I was stuck there all day. One of the doctors was obviously not impressed that she had to fix me up and spent as much time as she could away, stopping by only to tell me to "drink it up" (activated charcoal, even though it was like 10am and I'd OD'd 12 hrs before) but the nurses were really nice.
I've had some very bad experiences in the ER but did have a few nurses and LNA's who took good care of me.
I don't remember much about the time I was in for my first suicide attempt, because I was unconscious for a few days. But, I remember waking up in the ICU with the kindest LNA holding my hand. I was told by my family that this specific LNA hadn't left my side and took very good care of me.
I've been in the emergency room over 30 times for overdoses/self harm in the past six months. So I won't describe all the experiences obviously (I don't remember half of them because of the state I was in.)
Most of the times I've been in the ER, I've been sent against my will, and have been known to be uncooperative. I have had a few nurses who were absolutely terrible to me.
I've overheard a group of nurses outside my room talking about me...coming up with diagnosis' for my notes such as "failure to not stop being a dumbass."
I've had several nurses talk sarcastically with me. "Haven't seen you in a while, I figured you'd finally killed yourself. Too bad." "Haven't you had enough yet?"
I did have one amazing nurse. She told me that she was the one who saved my life when I had come extremely close to killing myself. She was always really gentle with me and she listened to me. And I remember one night I was in there extremely sick and being talked down to by my nurses. I had taken an overdose, but I was still conscious, just very sick and very disoriented. When this nurse heard the other nurses being rude to me and threatening to not have mercy when they "shove a ****ing tube down my throat" if I didn't hurry up and drink the charcoal. The nice nurse walked into my room and told everybody to leave and that she would take care of me. She brought a cup of apple juice in and she sat next to me. She was really patient with me and talked to me like an actual human being. She had one arm around me rubbing my back and stroking my hair, and the other hand holding the cup of charcoal for me helping me to drink it. She sat with me until I finished, and then gave me the apple juice to get the bad taste out of my mouth. And instead of leaving my face covered in black like they usually do, she wiped my face for me. I will never forget that. And she was my nurse for the rest of the night. She didn't let the others near me.
I also had a registration person who was really kind to me. I was crying after being insulted by the nurses. And she came in to register me, and I asked if she was going to insult me too, and she gave me a hug and said no. A few minutes later she came back with a stuffed dog. "So you don't have to feel alone...if you need anything, ask for me."
Because I'm there for psychiatric reasons, sometimes the nurses are so cruel and say that they don't feel comfortable with me...so recently it got into my file, that a policeman is always to be sitting in the room with me. I have never hurt another soul before. At least the cops are nice to me.
I've had a few physicians assistants who were kind to me. One who gave me stitches and actually made sure she had properly numbed my skin before starting to stitch. She actually cared. Most do a sloppy job, "didn't it hurt when you cut yourself? You shouldn't mind this then." Always said in a cruel, sarcastic tone.
I could go on forever with my stories.
I wanna stay inside all day
I want the world to go away
wow - x.silence, that's awful. like, ridiculous. talk about evil nurses - I feel like they came out of a quentin tarantino movie or something.
[I've never had any emergency room experiences, so I'm just butting in here, feel free to ignore me.]
but those nurses make me kinda MAD. they seem really ignorant. I feel full of righteous indignation right now... ok that sounds trite but GOOD LORD.
ive been to A&E for self inflicted injuries, but not cuts, so they didnt know.
they were a bit suspicious when i strolled in and said "i've broken my finger. please strap it up." and said to me "how did this happen?" and "how do you know?" but i had answers.
ive found A&E to be a nice place, less doctors and more nurses. i like nurses better. theyre less self important and formal. ive never been to A&E with cuts though, so theyre less likely to assume you broke your own bones or gave yourself concussion.
So if you wanna burn yourself remember that I love you
And if you wanna cut yourself remember that I love you
And if you wanna kill yourself remember that I love you
Call me up before you're dead
We can make some plans instead
Send me an IM, I'll be your friend Kimya Dawson - Loose Lips - Juno Soundtrack
for any and all non-SI insidents, including some abuse insidents, they have been really good. For SI though... a few years ago I passed out in the waiting room from blood loss, that wasn't good... 2 years ago I got told that "people like you aere as bad as hoax callers. You know there are people wit REAL illnesses and injuries we could b helping rather than wasting our time on you" . Last time I went due to an OD they weren't too bad, until they asked how/why it happened and I had to explain that I didn't know as it happened while I was dissociaited, and then the woman desided that I was psychotic and made the on-call psych come who told me that I was "lying" and that the abuse in my past was "my own fault" and that "DID doesn't exist so stop acting". They've given me stiches and when I said it hurt told me to "stop moaning" as suring it hurting was the point in my doing it.
I have had some good experiance too though, for example they've allowed my partner to come in with me and even stay for several hours. Several times I don't remember actually going to hospital, suddenly finding myself thee already stiched up, and to be honest if they could cope with me while in a dissociaitive state and not end up wih me running out of there and endign up in a different city or ended up with my hurting them (please don't judge me for that, it's not really fully me that does it and I don't rmeember it happening. I still feel awful for it though) then they must have been amazing service, etc. wise... Even my partner when I'm dissociaited has difficutly keeping me "under control"
shadow-light, I'm sorry your DID is so bad *hugs* I have dissociative tendencies and a girl in my head who I can't hear but I know what she's thinking. But I remember everything that happens, I just don't understand WHY it happens. It's sorta like watching someting on a tv for me. But I'm so sorry for you, it must be terrible.
it's not that bad, other have it worse. Anyway I dn't really know being ny different, ony have a "label" for it for about 7 months but that's not changed anything always been this way.
Do you have depersonalisation type symptoms then? I get them now and again, hate it. To be honest I sometimes think depersonalisation disorder would be worse to live with than this is as the moment of it I get are horrible
I actually don't think it sucks that much. I mean, yeah I can do some pretty scary things in that state, but it's easier to cope like that. Everything is much less intense and seems less important. And then bam, I'm back in reality and thinking 'ahhh crap' and cleaning up the mess of whatever I did.
I've been in the ER quite a bit this past year, more so this past seven months. But only once was I angered by someone. But then again, I don't remember four of them. Anyways...I know the staff by name, and they alll know me, and what I'm likely there for. Each time, except once, I was treated with respect by the nurses and doctors. The first really bad overdose, the one nurse saved my life, if she hadn't recognized me...well yeah. And she's been there every other time also. The first time I went in for stitches, everyone was really nice, especially the nurses. The last time the aide was fantastic. He's soooo nice and always comes and see's me when i'm there. The doc on the other hand was a butt. He left me sit there for hours before coming to see me and he was outside talking about how if i was cutting, i must be suicidal. What a dork. lol
Only been to A&E twice due to overdoses. The first time was horrible. I live in a big city with two hospitals close to me. The ambulance took me to one miles out of the way where I was waiting for an hour before I needed to vomit and only then I was in a temporary room. The doctors didn't really care and had to be on a drip. The only good experiance was two lovely nurses a night one and one evening one.
The second experiance was a lot better. I was taken to local hospital staff where brilliant got seen to quickly. Although I did notice favouritism on another patient in there due to their kids going to same school but overall I quite enjoyed the experiance as far as hospitals stays go. Only thing is the psychiatrists took forever to see and I wasn't allowed to be discharged until I saw them
I've had some very bad experiences in the ER but did have a few nurses and LNA's who took good care of me.
I don't remember much about the time I was in for my first suicide attempt, because I was unconscious for a few days. But, I remember waking up in the ICU with the kindest LNA holding my hand. I was told by my family that this specific LNA hadn't left my side and took very good care of me.
I've been in the emergency room over 30 times for overdoses/self harm in the past six months. So I won't describe all the experiences obviously (I don't remember half of them because of the state I was in.)
Most of the times I've been in the ER, I've been sent against my will, and have been known to be uncooperative. I have had a few nurses who were absolutely terrible to me.
I've overheard a group of nurses outside my room talking about me...coming up with diagnosis' for my notes such as "failure to not stop being a dumbass."
I've had several nurses talk sarcastically with me. "Haven't seen you in a while, I figured you'd finally killed yourself. Too bad." "Haven't you had enough yet?"
I did have one amazing nurse. She told me that she was the one who saved my life when I had come extremely close to killing myself. She was always really gentle with me and she listened to me. And I remember one night I was in there extremely sick and being talked down to by my nurses. I had taken an overdose, but I was still conscious, just very sick and very disoriented. When this nurse heard the other nurses being rude to me and threatening to not have mercy when they "shove a ****ing tube down my throat" if I didn't hurry up and drink the charcoal. The nice nurse walked into my room and told everybody to leave and that she would take care of me. She brought a cup of apple juice in and she sat next to me. She was really patient with me and talked to me like an actual human being. She had one arm around me rubbing my back and stroking my hair, and the other hand holding the cup of charcoal for me helping me to drink it. She sat with me until I finished, and then gave me the apple juice to get the bad taste out of my mouth. And instead of leaving my face covered in black like they usually do, she wiped my face for me. I will never forget that. And she was my nurse for the rest of the night. She didn't let the others near me.
I also had a registration person who was really kind to me. I was crying after being insulted by the nurses. And she came in to register me, and I asked if she was going to insult me too, and she gave me a hug and said no. A few minutes later she came back with a stuffed dog. "So you don't have to feel alone...if you need anything, ask for me."
Because I'm there for psychiatric reasons, sometimes the nurses are so cruel and say that they don't feel comfortable with me...so recently it got into my file, that a policeman is always to be sitting in the room with me. I have never hurt another soul before. At least the cops are nice to me.
I've had a few physicians assistants who were kind to me. One who gave me stitches and actually made sure she had properly numbed my skin before starting to stitch. She actually cared. Most do a sloppy job, "didn't it hurt when you cut yourself? You shouldn't mind this then." Always said in a cruel, sarcastic tone.
I could go on forever with my stories.
Nurses like this disgust me, and is a large reason as to why Im going into nursing - as they can be reported for that, and get into quite a bit of sh*t for it.
Sarah: Give me the child.
Jareth: Sarah beware. I have been generous up till now. I can be cruel.
Sarah: Generous? What have you done that's generous?
Jareth: Everything! Everything you have wanted I have done. You asked the child be taken, I took him. You cowered before me, I was frightening. I have reordered time. I have turned the world upside down, and I have done it all for you! I am exhausted from living up to your expectations of me. Isn't that generous?
The following content has been hidden - Reason : SI trigger
I got told by one nurse that I 'wasn't a proper self-harmer' (despite the fact I had cut down to the bone, and I'm not exaggerating), because I cut on my upper arm and not my wrist.
Seriously, wtf?!
But some have been lovely, and I have always been offered local anaesthetic and haven't experienced any outward nastiness, for which I am grateful. It did always seem though like they wanted to get rid of me as soon as possible. Despite being clearly unwell in number of ways, I was never asked if I was receiving any support or treatment, and I never saw a mental health worker.
There are, it has been said, two types of people in the world. There are those who, when presented with a glass that is exactly half full, say: 'This glass is half full'. And then there are those who say: 'This glass is half empty'.
The world belongs, however, to those who can look at the glass and say: 'What's up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse me? This is my glass? I don't think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass!
The times in A+E for my self harm have been ok, i always had a nice nurse and understandable doctor.. When i went to hospital on Sunday, i have a really nice Doctor, she was so understandable and she gave me all the time in the world and she took me to a quieter area and gave me a bed cos the loud noises in the emergency department was making me worst at the time.. But when i have taken overdoses, the doctors have been very rude and have inappropirate body language..
Its the crisis team i always seem to have bad experiences which seem to be odd..
The following content has been hidden - Reason : SI trigger
I got told by one nurse that I 'wasn't a proper self-harmer' (despite the fact I had cut down to the bone, and I'm not exaggerating), because I cut on my upper arm and not my wrist.
Seriously, wtf?!
I got that sort of comment too once because I'd cut my side and thigh not my arm! It seems stupid to me, self-harm is not area specific
I've never been to A&E because i choose never to go because its too scary but i did once see a nurse about a cut (well not directly but she ended up seeing it) and she was lovely and made me see the dr who was even lovelier and she stayed with me and talked with me and patched me up. My whole dr's surgery is generally pretty ok though.
ok so ive been to hospital 4 times all for ODs but had cuts checked out whilst up there.
the first OD was when i was 15, the doctor i saw was really lovely, he was just fantastic, i told him why i did it and he was so brilliant even managed to make me smile.
second OD she was evil, enough said
third OD i was treated like a 5 yr who had just knocked over a cup, when they checked out my cuts they were poking them to see if they would start bleeding.
forth OD, i was up the hospital 10-12 hours and spent an hour of it in a cubical the rest in the waiting room, i didnt once see a doctor just nurses, the nurse who looked at my cuts told me there was no point steri stripping them because i would only cut my arm open again, i was horrified, if i hadnt have been threaterned with them calling the police i would have left. the whole time i was there all i wanted to do is go into the toilet and cut or do worse but if i didnt come out within 5 mins they would open the door from the outside
I'ved been to A&E 3 times for OD's, the nurses were all lovely.
Went for stitches a few times too and yet again everyone was nice to me. Got a bit of a lecture off the surgon stitching me up but he meant well.
See I cannot feel this, not matter how you try and in the real world, there's no goodbyes.
i'm not sure about my experiences. i've never had anything that was really obviously bad, but i've been a lot of times to get cuts/burns treated and a few times for overdoses too.
mostly they're nice, even the doctors, they can be very quiet but i think that's because i'm quiet and not open to conversation too. a couple of times i've had a few shady comments and a doctor that i'm sure knew that the anaesthetic had worn off when he was stitching me. once, when not at my usual A&E, i had a cut that obviously needed stitching, but they just used packets and packets of steri-strips on it instead. needless to say it ended up opening up, and now i have a ridiculous scar.
i tend to get quite upset and shaky in A&E because i'm convinced the nurses and doctors are all outside talking about me, but that might just be my perception, it's hard to tell.
All my experiences have been in the last 7 months (which I hadn’t worked out before – shows how much worse I’ve gotten this year :s). I’ve been to 2 different A&Es (the first time at home, the other times where I am at uni). First time I was so nervous about going because I’d never been to hospital for anything before and I was worried about reactions. They were fantastic. The doctor was friendly, made sure I was calm and that I had a way to get home again after. She made me see the crisis lady because it was policy and spent a lot of time with me just being really friendly. She was busy and didn’t have to do that but I’m so grateful.
Here, I have been told I will grow out of it and that it’s a stupid thing to do. Which normally I wouldn’t mind because it’s an opinion and I can see some form of reason behind it even if I don’t agree but as I wasn’t feeling good anyway it didn’t help matters. From some people I get the impression they are trying not to let personal feelings get in the way and mostly succeeding but sometimes you can tell that there is this underlying feeling. It’s like when parents say “we’re not disappointed as long as you try, we’ll love you whatever grades you get” and then you fail. They will never, ever say that they’re disappointed but you can sometimes see that look.
Some people here have been brilliant though. One insisted on calling me a taxi so I could get home rather than walking or waiting ages for a bus. Having been twice in as many weeks, there was a nurse on duty who recognised me and said hi and had a chat even though she had other people to look after.
New low for me was going by ambulance. Again, the staff were fantastic. I didn’t have much of a choice in the matter so was scared they would have a go at me for wasting time even though I didn’t know anyone had called until they arrived. But no, they were so nice and said I didn’t need to apologise for anything, it was fine.
Having said that good stuff, I do not want to end up there again!
I was in hospital once for an OD and it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be but still not exactly good.
I was in for 3 days altogether I think. Got woken up every night by someone changing the drip and the bloody machine beeping all day. The staff were nice apart from one person taking my bloods who said to me "Your veins are really hard to find" then "I don't like blood." So much confidence. Worst part was when there were like 4 doctors standing around me and I threw up. So embarassed...
I've heard some pretty bad stories but my little 'visit' was kinda normal really.
I'm not telling you it's going to be easy, I'm telling you it's going to be worth it.
. Last time I went due to an OD they weren't too bad, until they asked how/why it happened and I had to explain that I didn't know as it happened while I was dissociaited, and then the woman desided that I was psychotic and made the on-call psych come who told me that I was "lying" and that the abuse in my past was "my own fault" and that "DID doesn't exist so stop acting". They've given me stiches and when I said it hurt told me to "stop moaning" as suring it hurting was the point in my doing it.
