cos.. just scared :( flashbacks really bad, trying to watch doctor who but it keeps skipping and then i get distracted
mum tidied my room today while i was out and shes hidden Kitty.. she bought Kitty as a joke but i love her and she's in some drawer somewhere and i cant find her.. she never hates me or looks at me accusingly and i know it sounds stupid but my bears do.. i have three toys in my room, Old Bear and Curly Ted (who've seen too much and must hate me) and Barry the Baryonyx that patrick bought me from the natural history museum so when im flashbacking he cant help me because he was bought by a MAN and thats BAD
what do you do when you know that what youre thinking is wrong but it doesnt change it... like your brain is overrided by itself.. it doesnt make any sense to me
im so scared of everything, everything in my room that came from a man, even from my daddy, is now evil to me. i cant talk to him and he thinks its because he hit me years ago. he sat me down the other day and tried to talk to me about it and i had to get up and go away and that made mum cry. i dont care that he hit me. it hurt me at the time but it doesnt any more. he's just a man, and that makes me hate him
