Triggering (SI) - did it again

TearsHurt · 07-03-2009, 07:45 PM

I cut myself again, I can't believe it I'd gone so long, but i just had the urge today and had to fuflill it. I don't want to go back to cutting what am i supposed to do?
I've got no support no one at all to tlk to and im breaking down big time. I thought I could get through the whole moving in on my own starting a new job without cutting but today i just couldnt stop myself.
I really need to tlk to someone about everything but i dont know who.
I just cant believe i did this again after so long how could i be so f***ing stupid.

shadow-light · 07-03-2009, 08:20 PM

it's just a slip up, it doesn't mean that you're going to go back to doing it again. Try not to think of it as a failure or as "going back to it", problem with SI is in many ways it "works" and so unless we sucessfully replace it with something else our mind will think of it when things happen and it's VERY hard to resist this as part of us sort of forgets all the negative that comes with it and just remembers the "relief"... but it doesn't mean that you'll start again, this is a slip up not a return to old ways

do you know what triggered this?

TearsHurt · 08-03-2009, 12:08 AM

Thanks for your reply, I don't know what specifically triggered it, but I'm guessing its moving out from my family living in my own in a new city and starting a new job. But I just had the urge and had to fufill it.
I know its probably a slip-up but I just feel so bad, I've got no-one near me to tlk to about any of it, me and my boyfriend are currently in a long distance relationship, he's still living in devon and im living in london and i have no credit at all so cant even tlk to him about any of it.
I juat want some sort of support atm just incase i get bad again but don't know how to get it, or what kind of support i need.
I really want to do it agan and again and again.
I mainly stopped because I was told it would stop me getting the carrer i wanted, but i got the job i really wanted which is why i moved and i raised my s/h and the interview simply because i was told that it could effect my chances of getting the job but it didnt effect it.
Now that I have started again I dont want to stop. But i feel so angry at myself for doing it. And that kind of starts the cycle. I'm angry at myself for cutting so i cut myself. and so on and so on.
I don't know what to do

Katiee · 08-03-2009, 01:36 AM

Hiii,
As said, it's just a slip up. They will happen. Just get back up and try again, I know it's not always that easy. But you will get through this. Also, if you've got no support/no one to talk to, then maybe you should get some professional help/support? Go to the doctors and ask what help/support they have to offer. *HUGS* Take care. xx

TearsHurt · 08-03-2009, 01:40 AM

I don't even have a doctor at the moment. I don't know where the nearest doctors is. I'm gonna have a search on monday cos i need to sort out a few things with them like controception and this stupidly annoying itchy rash i keep on getting on my leg.
I really feel like i'm alone in the world right now, and i dont know what to do to change that.
anyways i think its time for a hot chocolate and bed lol
thanks for all your help

Katiee · 08-03-2009, 01:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TearsHurt

I don't even have a doctor at the moment. I don't know where the nearest doctors is. I'm gonna have a search on monday cos i need to sort out a few things with them like controception and this stupidly annoying itchy rash i keep on getting on my leg.
I really feel like i'm alone in the world right now, and i dont know what to do to change that.
anyways i think its time for a hot chocolate and bed lol
thanks for all your help

Goood. :) I hope you get everything sorted out.
You're not alone, you're really not.
Haha, I have a hot chocolate right now!

Welcome, x