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Triggering (Suicide/Sexual Abuse) - Triggering. *rantish*
Last night i had a dream. it was like a flashback, but a dream. p###, s#### & ryan (a friend from school) from school ... they raped me. gang raped. It was so painful. I woke up crying.
Today before school i had a flashback. then i remembered everything. it wasnt ryan. it was somebody else. i can't remember his name. james i think. it was 3 years ago. i remember why i went to the police, even if i didn't after it.
But today every time i saw ryan i just ... remembered. and it hurt. so badly. i feel dead. i wish i was. I can't. i don't know. i don't knwo what to think. to think he'd done it. I feel so horrible. I'm disgusting. It still hurts. i don't know. help. i don't know how to feel. i don't know where to turn. i remember it all so clearly. so clearly i know it happened. i had no memory of this before.
I'm just so lost ... so hurt. I can't stand anybody being near me. i ... just ... help? I want to die ...
Help?
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