Is it considered rape if...........?(i think it's in the right place)
OK so not even sure if this is in the right place, i did look around and thought maybe this was the best place for it. If it isn't then plaese put move it for me.
OK so this is something that has bugged me since i was 16.
Is it considered rape when it's your boyfriend and you've given consent but only because you know you haven't got the strength to fight it off?
This has happened quite a few times and at the end of it i feel really used and betrayed as i have said no but then had to agree in the end because i knew it was going to happen no matter what.
I've spoke to a friend about this not long after the first time it happen and she said that because i said yes to it that it was my own fault and that if i didn't want to go through with it i should have put up more of a fight and made him take notice of it.
This has played on my mind ever since and now i get scared of saying no just incase it happens again.
littlewhisper, my guardian angel. I-Love-You XxX
little_miss, such an amazing friend. LoveYou XxX
I hate it, I don't want it, I don't need it, I never want to see it, You can take it, You can break it.
Mummy to my gorgeous wolf cub - 30/10/2013. Our little fighter at 3 weeks early and a tiny 4lbs 14oz.
I'm not sure... but I know the feeling of just giving in in these situations... I disagree with it being your fault though, by the sounds of things they were pressuring you a bit, and everyone has a limit as to how much of a resistance they can put up to things.
don't be scared of saying no in the future though, don't let this one persons lack of understanding and insistence/pressurising put you off saying no. if you don't want to do something you shouldn't and don't have to
but if he was your boyfriend he should have respected your choice.
Thats what i think but so many people think that because he's your boyfriend and your sexually active with him then you should perform you girlfrined duties and give them what they want.
It's something that can really mess a girl up though, it somehow has played on my mind for 6 yrs now and i still haven't been able to figure it out as in my mind it was basically rape but in everyone else it was just him taking what was his
littlewhisper, my guardian angel. I-Love-You XxX
little_miss, such an amazing friend. LoveYou XxX
I hate it, I don't want it, I don't need it, I never want to see it, You can take it, You can break it.
Mummy to my gorgeous wolf cub - 30/10/2013. Our little fighter at 3 weeks early and a tiny 4lbs 14oz.
It is rape as far as I am concerned if he pushes you to give in, although it may be dificult to prove in a court of law, it is still morally, rape, to knowingly push someone to engage in sex whey they don't want to.
If he does not have the mentality to realise that then he is no better that a rutting animal. What a selfish ******** your boyfriend is, what a bloody insensitive pig.
I am a man who has felt strong physical passion for women, and I am certain I would be horrified if a woman or girlfriend ever told me I forced or coerced her into sex. They have sex with me because they want to and thats what thrills me.
Taking what was his, utter bollocks, a boyfriend has no such "rights" , who brainwashes girls to even think that way, was equal rights and womens liberation in vain for people to even think that in the 21st century, suddenly its 1809. I cannot think of any of my male mates who believe in such outdated bullshit.
Sex is a way of showing affection, of giving to each other, not a power struggle, he is a stupid little boy, not a man, and does not deserve you
As for "duties" its supposed to be a pleasurable experience for both of you, if not, then its ugly, abusive, definitly a form of bullying, and if he does not recognise that and change his ways (he doesn't not know the meaning of respect so I won't use that word) you should dump his sorry ass and find someone who does.
Sorry for using strong language but I am fed up of girls being used like this, I feel no connection with such cretinous men, its like they are a different species to me
Go with your gut instincts, you are right, and don't let yourself be a doormat, if he threatens to leave you because you want your feelings to be considered, jump for joy
If you are given no choice, then what you say doesn't matter. If you had said no, it would have still happened. The lack of a meaningful choice means that there is no choice. And rape is about power and consent. In that situation, I would say that it is rape.
Boyfriends have no rights over their SO's body. You have no rights over his body. You can compromise on that a bit (condoms, cleanliness, hygene, bc) but in the end it is still your choice and it is his choice. He had no right to force himself on you.
Legally, it is still rape, even though it is hard to prove.
siluryman i do have to make it clear that the guy i am with now is a completely different person to the one who treat me like crap. i would never have married someone who treat me like that.
The 1st guy who treat me like this was a complete bastard and we ended up splitiing u because i found out he was only with me to get close to his ex again as she was a very good friend.
and the 2nd guy who did this well he was even worse. i think we split because he was calling my little brother a c**t.
Just had to clear that up as i hate the thought of someone thinking bad of my husband as he is just awesome
littlewhisper, my guardian angel. I-Love-You XxX
little_miss, such an amazing friend. LoveYou XxX
I hate it, I don't want it, I don't need it, I never want to see it, You can take it, You can break it.
Mummy to my gorgeous wolf cub - 30/10/2013. Our little fighter at 3 weeks early and a tiny 4lbs 14oz.
I am very pleased for you that you have married someone you are happy with.
It was your last sentence "This has played on my mind ever since and now i get scared of saying no just incase it happens again" that led me to think it was still happening.
I think that legally it is not considered rape but psychologically it is the same thing. I do not think you would be able to file criminal charges but if you went to a psychologist and spoke about these incidents I think the treatment would be similiar if not the same.
I understand about your hubby being a great guy :) I am glad you are happy in your marriage and wanted to clear that up. The only thing I worry about is that if you are scared to say no you may not be effectively communicating your needs to your husband out of fear left over from these incidents. Is your husband aware of these previous issues? If not he may not be able to be in tune with how you are feeling and why you are feeling that way in the present.
I know that because of abuse issues in my past their are times that I am not into it. And because my boyfriend is an awesome guy and knows about my issues he doesn't pressure me because he knows it is more than a headache or something silly. :)
listen and learn
the universe speaks
as we crawl and crave
as we love and weep
there is no fate
there is only what we make
No my hubby doesn't know about this, i did tell him about 4 years ago when we started dating but he forgets things.
there are sometimes when i do just give into him to keep him happy even when i am just not feeling it but that is through my own choice and not because he will make me if i say no as i know he would never do that.
i don't intend on making a criminal thing about what happened as it was that long ago now, i just kinda want it cleared up in my head.
i think my old friends were very wrong for me as i think it's them that have helped to make this such an emotional issue for me.
littlewhisper, my guardian angel. I-Love-You XxX
little_miss, such an amazing friend. LoveYou XxX
I hate it, I don't want it, I don't need it, I never want to see it, You can take it, You can break it.
Mummy to my gorgeous wolf cub - 30/10/2013. Our little fighter at 3 weeks early and a tiny 4lbs 14oz.
I don't know if it's rape or not. . . I've had similar things happen. But just be aware that no means no, and you should only have to say no once. *Hugs*
That year Mona Gritch was born to a pair of drunkards.
mainly if your past B/f's mainly always talked bout " The groove" then mostly its pressure...which can put someone into a sitionous they dont want to be in and then they force themselfs to have " The Groove"
