January 12, 2009 is a day/night that I will always remember. It's a day that has changed (and is changing) my life forever. I turned my step-dad in to the police for molesting/raping me for 11 years of my life.
I still can't believe I did it. I still think I'm in shock.
The thing that irritates me is how I can't remember very much of anything. :| It's like a big fog; like everything has blurred together... and I can't remember anything. Is this normal?
And when I begin counseling, will these memories start to resurface, or will I never remember?
Personally, I can't see a change in myself. I really can't. I still feel the same as I always have. It's almost like I haven't processed anything yet, or like I'm running from the truth. I don't understand. >.< Shouldn't I feel relieved, or at least nervous about the trial? I can't feel anything! This isn't normal. What's wrong with me?
(And for those of you wondering, they have NOT arrested him yet. Apparently, they're still investigating.)
I'm sorry I don't know any of the answers to your questions but I just wanted to say a big well done to you. That was very brave of you. *hugs* Best of luck x
Sometimes the way in life seems cloudy...But remember, after the storm comes clear skies
For me, really important, emotionally charged events are nearly always fuzzy for a while after the event. Positive or negative. Maybe you need a little time for your brain to process everything that's been happening.
I hope the police do something about him soon.
Take care xx
For those doubts that swirl all around us
For those lives that tear at the seams
We know… we’re not what we’ve seen
For this dance we’ll move with each other
There ain’t no other step than one foot
Right in front of the other
You did a great thing, really a great thing. It was very brave, and the first few weeks after this is the hardest and most confusing. You're probably much more normal than you think. I hope they arrest him and you can start to recover. And if you like, I would like to award you the Bravery Crown we have in the a/b board. If you're interested come check it out. :)
firstly well done on going to the police, that is fantastic and shows great strength.
as for remembering... I think a lot of people sort of repress things that happened, that's our minds way of "protecting" us... as for if they will come back well it depends... everyone's slightly different, it may come back in bits, it may coe all at once, or some parts may never really fully rturn. but I will say that having them come back in councilling would be better than them returning on their own, at least you'll have someone there to help you deal with it all and understand what's going on.
and as for not feeling anything, maybe it just hasn't sunk in yet?
Thanks everyone.
I mean I know I did the right thing... but it feels good when people reassure me and tell me that they're proud of me.
I'm very anxious all the time. I keep worrying about the future and what's going to happen. I'm trying to stay calm though- because I know worrying does no good. But it's difficult. :|
And I feel like if I can't remember anything, and if I can't tell the court any SPECIFIC memories, he may walk. >.<
I don't think I could handle it if he walks.
Im sorry I have no answers but I just want to say your incrediably brave and well done, It's people like him that needs locking up and your doing the right thing. I wish you all the best with your trial, you are strong, you can do this!
Each tear drop falls with sorrow, hoping and praying for another tomorrow!
No matter what happens now things cannot go back, he has been exposed
Of course you are worried, but give yourself a little time to calm down and give your thoughts and memories a chance to become clear. As they come back to you, be sure to write them down even if they seem random flashes, keep a pen and paper close by
You have my support
Siluryman
Last edited by siluryman : 26-01-2009 at 05:10 PM.
Reason: formatting
First of all, there's nothing wrong with you! What you feel is perfectly normal, because that's how your body has decided to deal with what you're going through at the moment. So don't worry about what you feel, or what you don't feel, it will all come in time.
Take some time for you. You are the most important person in all of this, you're the incredibly brave person who has spoken out, and it's you that you need to take care of right now. It's understandable that you feel nervous (probably the underestimation of the century, yes?) at the moment, but you've done it, you've spoken, which is amazing. It really is :)
As for not remembering things, a lot of the time, during times of trauma, the mind prefers to lock things away until the time where it thinks it's safe to let them out again. Perhaps you just need a little coaxing? Therapy could help, maybe not even the traditional therapy, the whole sitting down and spilling out your innermost feelings, but art, or music? Some people find that drawing, or painting, or singing/song writing can help. I don't know, I guess it's different for everybody.
I guess the most important thing is to not push yourself too hard to remember details, i think the more you worry and push yourself, the less likely you're gonna be to open up. You've got all the time in the world :) The police are involved, and they can help you a great deal.
I know I don't know you, and perhaps all of this will mean nothing, but it's just what I know, i hope that's okay and I haven't stepped over the line. But I am proud of you, very much so, it's such a huge thing you've done.
All the best, seriously, I wish you all the luck in the world, you deserve it.
Always feel free to message me, I'll always get back to you, should you want me to, yeah?
Much love,
Marie xx
Now I'll play your ghost as my ace, whenever I'm led astray.
But I am actually good, can't help it if we're tilted.
I'm in my right place, don't be a downer.
