Triggering (SI/Sexual Abuse) - Ugh!

[silverfaerychild]

I swear i have nightmares but never remember them in the morning


but one time my boss at my group home

told me that her husband jumped up out of bed to check on me cause i was yelling in the night in my sleep

and i clearly remember wanting to fight my abuser in my dream

and i was yelling things at him and his dad


and when i confronted my Abuser

i really did held out my arm and i said i " HAVE SCARS FROM U"

and he tried pulling some bullshit that he was the one afraid of me cause i was
stronger then him..BULL****IN ****


I totally said " No (we call him bob) Bob you pinned me down and i couldnt get up when i wanted to"

*sighs*

i just wish he could die even though i dont talk to him anymore

and i even emailed him on myspace asking why he did

and he admited to being alittle forceful but i dont think he was being alittle


more like " LOADS "
and i had ot be pulled away

and i remember another one whre i was telling someone i was raped


and this was all before i even told anyone bout the abuse


GAH


i dont know what to do if i am having nightmares

and i am known to talk in my sleep

and i wonder what i say when i do....

[bobbiwibble]

dont really know what to say :(
i'm all over the place myself right now
all i can say is.. ****ing cut him out of your life

some people will never get the evil they do. and if they genuinely dont believe they've done wrong then i even feel a little sorry for them.

i've always talked in my sleep, now i scream in my sleep. ive just been given a rape alarm and i'm scared of it because i'm always running off threatening to call the police when i wake up after a bad dream, and i'm scared i'll set off the alarm every night :P
dont think my family will approve.

my mum thinks the bad dreams are the same as they were when i was a kid - running away from dinosaurs and stuff (i was a weird kid) apparently i never really say anything very audible, especially when i'm upset in my sleep. so maybe you're the same, and people dont actually know what's happening in your head :)

[silverfaerychild]

maybe

[apple17]

im not sure what to do about the nightmares,
but *bob* sounds like a real jerk
i would try and forget about him, because he's not even worth getting angry over. what he did was wrong wrong WRONG, but he did it whether he admits it or not. so forget him.
im so sorry that happened to you, please take care of yourself :]

[silverfaerychild]

Thnks Apple....

I am trying my hardest to forget him but anything that reminds me of him i suddenly think back to that time

[shadow-light]

seriously don't contact him... no matter what you say or ask he'll never admit what he did, he can't, that's not how it works... he'll just find some way to make you feel you're to blame, he'll use any excuse or lie to get to this result or one like it. you'll ed up feeling worse than you do now...
I know you want answers or for him to show some sign of acknowledgment of what he did, but really you'll be searching forever... the best thing for you to do is to cut him out of your life completely


as for the nightmares... as is said above I don't think people usually say much audible in sleep, let alone understandable to others, so I'm sure you're not going to reveal anything to anyone if that's waht you're worried about.

[silverfaerychild]

thnks shadow

i do have a thread on rant/vent

its just something that has been helping

i been writting letters in there to anyone who has hurt me in the past

[troubleshooter]

There's not really much you can do about talking in your sleep but try to make your time before bed comforting and safe. Have a nice ritual that can make you relaxed and tell yourself to think of nice things. *hugs* And I agree this bob sounds like someone to avoid.

[silverfaerychild]

i have,i dont talk to him anymore

though i did recently sent him a letter i posted in rant/vent

which is my first post to him to let him know what i go through everyday and how i feel