I'm so alone...

[SnowBerrySnuffles]

So yeah. I'm on my year abroad in Spain.
It's the exam period here, for the next 3 weeks or so. It has been the exam period for the last week as well. I went to Madrid to see some friends but I swear they didn't really want me there...
I've just got back to my flat, (well last night) to find out that one of my housemates has moved out. She has paid rent for february and gone. I can't pay more. End of. I can't pay more for this flat tha I'm paying now. Not really.
I need to talk to someone. But the only person that is here at the moment is not replying. Has not replied since before I got back. When I go online, she goes offline. I have emailed her, tried ringing her, texted her, messaged her on facebook. I'm in a state and need to talk to someone here. But the two other peopl I know are away for a few days. I dunno. I just feel so alone here. Thankfully I'm going home to England for 2 and a half weeks, but I hate the uncertainty of when I come back. Will I have to pay more? Will we get someone else in the flat? I'm scared. I don't know what's going to happen. And my friend isn't talking to me. Great.
I feel so alone and soooo insecure! I want to stay at home and not come back. Ha. It's a thought!
Sorry for ranting! I just want to talk! But I can't... I wish I had more friends. I'm not the usual university student you see. I don't like going out to get drunk much. I prefer to have like a girly night in or something. I'm weird I know!!!
Grrr... sorry.

[shadow-light]

that's not werid... I'm similar, will go out now and then but would much perfer just going round to someone's flat (or people coming to mine) and watch some films or whatever.

not sure I can really say much to help... but I'm about and online if you still need to talk. I know that we don't know each other, but I'm willing to listen and help if I can

[Tears of Solitude]

Im sorry that you are going through such a difficult time at the moment < hugs >

Sorry that your friends are letting you down.

Dont feel totally alone, we are all here to hold your hand through this time. Keep talking and posting, let us support you xxx

Jade xxx

[SnowBerrySnuffles]

Thanks for the replies. Feeling s**t still. My head feels all bleh too. All sort of bunged up. (Not sure if that is how you spell bunged lol)
If off my food, which is NOT like me. I love food. But today... nah. My friend hasn't contacted me still. She's disappeared off the face of the Earth I think. The flat seems weird with the ex-housemate. So empty. I feel empty. Sort of. I dunno. I just wanna cry... but I've cried so much already. I wanna throw a tantrum like a two year old to get my own way... not sure what that would be... maybe to go home and not come back here, or maybe to just have friends here, maybe to have the housemate back so everything is secure again. Everything is normal. I just don't know.
I feel lost. And so worthless out here.
xx

[Tears of Solitude]

Maybe what you need is a good cry, sometimes it can really help. You have been through a lot in such a short space of time.

Its going to feel a little odd at first being in the flat on your own. Just think of the positives you can do, like watch what you want on the TV. Play your music up loud etc.

The friend that isnt contacting you is missing out.

Its probably because you are so upset, that you are off your food. I hope with talking and posting about it, you will calm down a little bit. Hopefully you will get your appetite back.

My thoughts are with you
Jade xxx

[ravynsoul]

*offers hugs* how are things going now?