Contains sexual abuse - no punishment

[prettymuchnothing]

so when i was twelve or thirteen my sixteen year old brother took advantage of me when i was drunk. he climbed into bed with me and kissed me and touched me and tried to take off my clothes. i lay frozen with fear pretending to be asleep so he eventually gave up and when he fell asleep i snuck away and never told anyone.

now, six years on i told my mother, because what he did has haunted me and living in the same house as him for years has completely destroyed my mental health and my childhood. nothing has happened since, but i live scared that one night he will come back into my room. since telling my mother she has done nothing. he denied it and she told me to get help for the problems i am having. she says she doesn't disbelieve me, but she won't throw him out so i can live in peace and instead favours him and lets me suffer endlessly.

please someone tell me what to do, my entire family have turned against me for telling them the truth and i can't bear to live with that monster.

[PassedExpectations]

after such a long time, i think that your mother's reaction is actually very reasonable. you are both her children, she can't stop loving or caring for either of you, and she can't be totally sure of what happened. she wants you to get help, have she or you found a therapist or counselor that you could go to? i can see why you are angry that more hasn't been done, but throwing your brother out would probably cause much more of a family rift and more hurt and angry feelings for everyone.

if your brother hasn't repeated what he did in six years, i think that it is unlikely that he will now, especially since you have spoken about what happened. you need to regain your feeling of safety. having your brother totally gone is unrealistic, so you feeling safe again means reconstructing some of your relationships and facing some of your fears. take reasonable steps to prevent any future problems, but don't try to avoid him at all costs, as avoiding him will never allow you to face and work through your fear.

what evidence do you have that all your family has turned against you? what evidence shows that they haven't? it sometimes happens that we pick up on the negatives but not on the things that show that people beleive us and care about us.

also, i think that it would probably be good for you if you could learn to see your brother in a new way. there is no excuse for what he did to you, but that doesn't mean that he is a monster or that he doesn't have any redeeming qualities. whenever we see people as one dimensional, whether in a good way or a bad way, we do ourselves and them a disservice. people are complicated. don't oversimplify.

[Drake]

I believe you. It sounds like it was traumatic for you and therefore should be allowed to be discussed respectfully in your own home.

[shadow-light]

I think as has been said her reaction was probably due to not only you both being her children but the length of time that has passed since the event. Has anyone said that they have turned against you or is this what you feel that they are thinking? Both are horrible, but the latter should be a little easier to work with.

Have you considered seeing a counselor or some other professional? It could even be possible after a few sessions to have one with your mum or even your whole family to help to "clear the air" as it were and to help you understand them and them understand you in a safe environment.


I am sorry for what happened, and that you feel that it's not been taken seriously. The politics of familys are complicated unfortunately, often it is best to seak help from an outside source as they are more detatched from the situration

[Awake&Unafraid]

We're very similiar.. When I was 11 my brother came to me every night, touching me, and I was just.. I don't know, paralyzed, pretented to sleep, too. After a year or so, I took his head and slammed it into my wall. We never talked it about it, nor did it happen again. But you are much braver than I am.. I never told my parents, and I'm not going to.

I hope you can stay strong, message me if you're feeling bad x