The wind that blows,
Will hear our story.
Yet still it knows not,
Why we sit here and cry.
The darkened room
With blinds over windows
Echoing the blackness
Never ending inside.
The pain we feel
Is nothing to the wind
Who huffs and puffs
All through the night.
The wind surges on
Ever there, ever hearing,
Blowing us ragged
Till no longer we fight
Then as night turns to day
The wind grows calm
Brushing past trees
Pulling clouds in the sky
It seems the danger
Of the wind is over
We survive to see night again
And yet again,
As we sit in our room
The wind brushes past
Our window pain
The huffing and puffing
Continues once more
Like the darkness we feel within
Yet just like our selves,
The wind isn’t bad
Merely,
Just miss understood
The writhing and thrashing
It sounds the world in
Is just its way
Of showing us
It’s alive
I'm Angela's (dancing loony) guard dog, I'm Comatostatic's Squishy
Comatostatic is my Plague rat in a top hat
potentialy very triggering...also possibly tip sharing?
The following content has been hidden - Reason : triggering stanza
Falling
18 November 2008
23:20
I sink,
Deeper and deeper,
Everything piling up above me.
I feel myself,
Swirling round the whirlpool,
That is my depression.
I curl up ,
To keep myself whole,
But only succeeded,
In loosing myself more.
The foreign objects,
That are my limbs,
Alien to me,
Cling to my body,
Crushing me,
Adding to the pressure.
I find myself falling,
Falling, falling,
To an endless un-known
Dragging me further than I've ever gone
I cant help but think
'Why'
I try and stop myself
With thoughts
Words
Actions
But nothing slows my pace
Further I fall
Into the never ending blackness
Waiting, waiting
For relief to finally arrive
But it can only be found
At the sharp end of a razor
Digging into my skin
Tearing the flesh
Blood flowing freely.
All my emotions
Sumed up in
Many gaping wounds
Suddenly I stop, crashing.
The pressure is still rising
But I'm held
By an unseen surface
Pinned down, unable to breathe
I'm at my limit
The surface is revealed as a knife edge
I'm ready to fall off
But somehow I manage to balance
Now forever balancing
Never daring to look down
Fearing falling again
Here I stay, trying to make myself
Climb back
To where I used to be
Away from my oblivion.
I'm Angela's (dancing loony) guard dog, I'm Comatostatic's Squishy
Comatostatic is my Plague rat in a top hat
They call me everything
Failure
Pathetic
Weak
Useless
Stupid
Fat
Ugly
They know everything
All my thoughts, feelings
For they are my thoughts and feelings
I cant make them go away
All I want is peace
Quiet
A silent brain
But that is never possible
There is always one
Picking and jibing
Making me into everything I dont want to be
Slut
Whore
Nympho-****ing-maniac
I want to be free
I want to be normal
I want to be me
But that will never happen
They drive to braking point
Where I snap
Or worse
The following content has been hidden - Reason : tip sharing....possibly
The only thing keeping me alive
Is the sweet sensation
Waiting at the edge of a blade
Something sharp
Ripping into my flesh
Tearing open skin
Blood dripping to the floor
I am no longer myself
I'm no longer whole
Just parts of myself
Slipping between other voices
Never myself completely
Always listening to them
I cant get away
I want help
But nobody listens
And when they do,
They only make it worse
When I cry out for help
Nobody notices
Blood seeps through clothes
But only the voices speak up
I knew you were weak
We would never lie to you
When I try and get help
They hold me back
Telling me how pointless I am
Reminding me how I'm nothing
To anyone
Just a waste of space
Breathing other peoples air
I'm useless
All my talents are over shadowed
By other people
For my talents aren't talents
Just things I try hard at
And fail at in the end
All I want to do is die
But that would mean loosing
Letting them win
But....if I don't want to lose any more
Why have I given up fighting....
I'm Angela's (dancing loony) guard dog, I'm Comatostatic's Squishy
Comatostatic is my Plague rat in a top hat
