Thanks for all the comments made so far. Have taken down the messy merged thread because it just looks stupid. They weren't written together or really meant to be read together, but nothing I can do about that.
Ribbons
Shreds and tatters.
A report becomes a countdown ticking on.
Ache and pain.
Heightened sense of a dripped acceptance.
Time and treatment.
Hope lost from the confusion of delay.
Wound and release.
Made alive and strengthened by oblivion.
Resonance and reason.
Longing with the need of a happiness.
Pattern and form.
Dictated in necessity with unreason.
Shape and style.
Held in place upon the altar of flesh.
Lost and dismayed.
Given form outside with the senseless.
Towers and climbs.
A way that is forced through the mountains.
Cold
Play the ice,
a melody of the frozen,
serene and calmed,
beautiful creations,
held in stillness,
wishing to be free.
Take me away from the noise,
Take me away from the tumult,
Take me away from the chaos,
Take me away into the cold.
Pebble
Pretty rock sitting strong.
Reassuring in the darkness.
First defence against the pain.
A pebble in the stream of life.
Glimmering in the sunlight.
Collect pebbles on the beach.
Collect pebbles from the stream.
Collect pebbles from my heart.
Task
Set out on the path,
Talk to the people,
Fill out their forms,
Make a phone call,
Do the shopping,
Go home.
Maintain the strength,
Keep it all together,
Don't break outside,
Stay on top of it all,
Get it done for good,
Go home.
Falling into pieces,
Crying in my hands,
Curled up invisible,
In a place unseen,
Don't make me leave,
Go home.
Lost in my sorrows,
This isn't my home,
Nowhere I belong,
Rejected unwanted,
Deal with it myself,
No home.
Seek needed help,
Clasp the aid I need,
Ask when it's needed,
Tell them what to do,
Reach out of the dark,
I'm home.
Closed eyes,
Darkness cradles the body,
Process ends,
Thoughts stop and quieten,
Ticking over,
Body slows to halted pace,
Dream starts,
Vision most unmemorable,
Delving deep,
Stepping on minds secrets,
Terrors arise,
The haunting fears disturb,
Repositioning,
Turns over restoring peace,
Closed eyes,
Darkness cradles the soul.
Control
Not done yet,
One more time,
Just one more,
Last one now,
I'm done now,
Can stop now,
Don't need this,
Have given up,
Taken a break,
I'm fine now,
Moved on now,
Don't need this,
Just one more,
One more time,
Not done yet.
Last edited by InvestigatorIX : 11-08-2011 at 01:57 AM.
love your seemingly stream of consciousness style. The way you choose mostly not to modify your words but just to present them is refreshing and inspiring, I hope to read some more of your work!
Blessing all the birds that died so I could live
be a woman, be a woman
Thanks for all your comments so far. It makes me happy to think that they're being enjoyed.
Shivering
Shaken by delayed thoughts,
Life taking a never ending toll,
Feeding to keep things going,
Cold recordings of memories,
Drifting from place to location,
Paralysing dismay and regret,
Laying still and slowly crying,
Blown off course distracted,
Confused by countless tasks,
More problems than answers,
More ends than bits of string.
Independence
Going it alone,
Running the gauntlets of life without backup,
By yourself,
Creating and enacting solutions to problems,
Without aid,
Making your own ways through the world,
No one helps,
Responsible for your own right and wrong,
Solitary acts,
Fully disposable contacts and acquaintances,
Prideful boast,
Made it work my own without any help at all.
A lonely invocation,
Solitary confinement,
Bottling and hiding it,
Needs and troubles,
Only hinders others.
Independence,
A state of wanting it all and getting nothing.
Thanks for all your comments so far. It makes me happy to think that they're being enjoyed.
Shivering
Shaken by delayed thoughts,
Life taking a never ending toll,
Feeding to keep things going, Cold recordings of memories, LOVE this line.
Drifting from place to location,
Paralysing dismay and regret,
Laying still and slowly crying,
Blown off course distracted, could you put some punctuation before "distracted"?
Confused by countless tasks,
More problems than answers,
More ends than bits of string.
Independence
Going it alone,
Running the gauntlets of life without backup,
By yourself,
Creating and enacting solutions to problems,
Without aid,
Making your own ways through the world,
No one helps,
Responsible for your own right and wrong,
Solitary acts,
Fully disposable contacts and acquaintances,
Prideful boast,
Made it work my own without any help at all.
A lonely invocation,
Solitary confinement,
Bottling and hiding it,
Needs and troubles,
Only hinders others.
Independence,
A state of wanting it all and getting nothing.
I love how "By yourself" is its own line in the first stanza, that really works to bring it out more. And the last two lines of the second stanza, I really love. It reads nearly like a cryptic clue, but its meaning is clear and it's really well put. And the last two lines capture it perfectly as a whole.
Don't worry about doing the review thing so much, to be honest I'm not really trying to improve the skill so much as just getting a few thoughts out and then posting the ones here I think people here might appreciate.
