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Triggering (Sexual Abuse) - I really need help......
sorry if this is too long, but i need to explain my situation.
2 years ago, (i was in a psychiatric unit which i still go to for day care and they are brilliant) another patient pinned me to a wall, pushed up my top and touched my breasts. well, its really bothering me now, even though i know it doesnt sound that bad, but i have been abused as a child.
i never said anything, but as its only affecting me now, i dont want to keep it secret.
only problem, i cant trust anyone enough to tell them. why? because i have ruined things for myself. i will explain.
i am very close to some of the staff at the hospital and so am i with my therapist as well. the issue is, years ago when i was at my most unwell, i said things had happened to me, but either exaggerated, or didnt tell the whole story. I really have been abused, but i added other people in as well and the reason was, was cuz i felt i wasnt worthy of feeling hurt by what really happened to me, didnt think it was that bad, so felt i had to say more for people to believe me or take me seriously. this came out in the open, thank god, and i can now be completely honest and feel worthy that if the truth upsets me, then that is justified.
thing is, sometimes and understandably, when i say things, now people dont always know what to think, they want to believe me and know i have come so far and that i am honest now, but if i suddenly (out of the blue and i think i was triggered as i saw this patient back at the unit a few weeks ago) talk about what happened, no one will believe me now and wonder why im only just bringing it up now. they may think i am going back to lying or exaggerating.
i dont know what to do and worry that only having this guy touch my breasts is maybe not a big deal. Help!
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