Me, little me and Her

pixiedust · 27-10-2008, 03:11 AM

Sorry for posting again but I've been doing a lot of thinking tonight and I think I might have worked something out. I'll try and explain it here.

There's 3 parts of me. There's me, little me and Her. Me is how I am most of the time. I'm the one everyone knows. Me wants to change and wants to get better, at least at the moment. Little me is me as a child. She feels scared and alone sometimes but likes to play and have cuddles. Mummy and daddy sometimes see little me at home. Her is the horrible part. Her bullies me and little me. Her tries to destroy me. I hear Her as part of the voices in my head. Sometimes Her is joined by her friends and they shout at me too. Only I know Her. I've tried explaining Her to my old psychiatrist once I think. Haven't mentioned her to anyone else. But I've worked out - it's Her who's stopping my recovery. It's like when someone challenges me about the way I think about myself. Her always steps in and is resistant. Me tries to change but Her won't. I think I may have to explain this when I go for CBT. I mean, me can also be self-destructive at times and thinks bad about me but it's different. Me is more logical rather than absolute and unchanging.

I just wondered whether anyone could relate or whether it's just me going mad. I actually feel quite positive about working this out because I now feel I know which part of me to work on.

loopylucy08 · 27-10-2008, 05:59 AM

OMG! Welcome to my world Laura! :D.
Me-Her-Them. Her is now Sofi these days though. Them are people who did stuff to me in the past. I struggle with change because Her/Sofi punishes me for any change I try to make. Last year when I attempted CBT for the first time, I became very dangerous because of it, so now they have to use a different approach. But I can so totally relate to that situation. And I also felt relieved when I realised what was going on.

*big hugs*

butterfly hearts · 27-10-2008, 06:05 AM

I do know very well what you are talking about.
Would give a longer reply but i'm about to go so!
Just wanted to let you know i hear ya.
hugs

Revival · 27-10-2008, 06:51 AM

wow, I thought it was just me that had this. I have "neg" (Her) me, and Elli (little me). sorry for the rubbish reply, I just wanted you to know that you're not alone. take care

butterfly hearts · 27-10-2008, 07:12 AM

mine is a bit more complicated, more than just three, but yes that is another long story! sorry for my crap replys toooo!
xoxo

Stellata · 27-10-2008, 08:27 AM

Me too!
Katie [me], Katrina and Little One.
Katrina attempts to 'protect' me from ever experiencing again the neglect and abuse in my past. But she ends up in a re-enactment/re-traumatisation cycle, because she's trapped in the past.

Therapy is really helping me live with and hold the feelings.

bleeding black · 27-10-2008, 10:54 AM

We can relate alot.
It can be frightening.
Journalling and T helped us, and is helping us.
There are more than 50 of us though

OneManDisco · 27-10-2008, 04:53 PM

I relate a lot to this too.
There are three of me too, in a way. There's me, and the little one and 'her'. I don't name them anymore because I get paranoid. 'She' is the one who tells me that I'm a bad, horrible person. And when I think this for myself she is quick to tell me it's true. 'She' will punish me if she thinks I've done wrong.
"I mean, me can also be self-destructive at times and thinks bad about me but it's different. Me is more logical rather than absolute and unchanging" That sums up my 'her' too. Except she doesn't have friends, she's alone.
Mine feel more like states than voices. Little one is a state but 'she' does talk, she just sounds a lot like me.
It's nice to know we're not alone here.
I don't have any advice for you, but I hope the CBT works.

pixiedust · 27-10-2008, 05:42 PM

Thank you for replying. I'm glad I'm not the only one and that people understand. I don't really know where to go from here but I think I might try and explain it to the psychologist when I go for my CBT assessment next week.

kaffy123 · 27-10-2008, 06:02 PM

Yes, yes, yes.

kona · 29-10-2008, 01:15 AM

your not alone. i've never told anyone about how i....relate to my voices on a personal level, but i have a 'little one' a 'me' and a few others who have colours rather than names

hope the CBT works *big hugs*

Stress Free Anxiety · 29-10-2008, 04:03 AM

Can I just say a big, resounding YES!

Felicia consists of Me, Eve/Little Me, and "the gang".

Me is the person everyone knows and loves. She's outgoing and likes to have fun. But she's skeptical about most everythign and is terribly afraid of trusting people. Eve lives for affection and cuddles, but she also helps me see the world with a child's faith and trust. She's who Me was before the problems. The gang can only be described as a buch of little minions who occasionally gang up on Me and Eve. They place them on stools and threaten to hurt them if they move, taking over Felicia's minda and body. The gang is everything negative and evil about Felicia.

All three parts are necessary to each other, but the gang tends to get out of hand and that's when the problems start. I could go on, so if you want to hear more feel free to PM me. I just don't feel like rambling to everyone.

lozstar88 · 29-10-2008, 04:32 AM

i relate to that alot hunni
*hugs*
hope your HER isn't giving you a hard time and you can fight off what she says
take care
Loz
xoxox

ShyGirlEiana · 30-10-2008, 07:43 AM

I'm the same! That's the way I've thought of myself for a while. There's me (I don't give out my real name here), there's her (the angry/insulting/destructive one), and there's Eiana (the little girl part of me that's hurt and scared and very vulnerable).

Oh wait, and then there's Nan - she's the wise, comforting, protecting one.

I've recently figured out a little more as well - (My name) is the one people see most of the time - she tries to protect me/Eiana from the outside world by being quiet and solitary, not letting people in, and blocking my feelings. This is what helped me survive at home, and now I need to teach her that she doesn't need to do those things (to the extent that she does) to survive anymore.

Elyse is the me as I should be. When I feel like I'm being real, I'm really truly being myself, that's Elyse.

And then there's (my name backwards). For a long time, I've enjoyed conversing with my reflection in the mirror, like she's a friend...and in my head, often I've got this fun bantering conversation going ("You're such a weirdo!" "I know, but I enjoy my weirdoness!" "Weirdo." "Yes, we've already established that...but you know you wouldn't have it any other way." "True."). She's the other side of that conversation. =P

Sorry to ramble. But I don't often get the chance to explain this, because most people wouldn't understand, you know?

Stellata · 30-10-2008, 08:05 AM

I understand.