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Triggering (SI/OD) - lost and confused...
I am so lost and confused I don't even know what to write here. I just know I need some serious help. I just got out of the hospital on Friday (today is Tuesday.) I was in the hospital because I tried to kill myself. I came really close to succeeding, too. I don't remember much after I got to the ER, but apparently I went into a non-responsive coma and had no reflexes. I don't know exactly how long I was comatose, but I eventually woke up, much to my dismay. So after 2 weeks inpatient, I was released and came back to my mom's house. I moved in here back in April. I simply cannot stand being here any longer. These people are driving me crazy! I was down to cutting only about once a week, but now I am cutting every day again. Sometimes even twice a day! I told the people who work with me (they are sort of like a team of therapists I see every day) that I want to move out. So they are going to help me find a place I can go. But they aren't sure I can live on my own again. They think it will create too much stress. But I can't stay here. They offered to take me to a group home or something of the kind, but I don't really want to do that. I would have to leave my dog (who is my life) and I wouldn't have as much freedom. Plus, I just dont think I would be comfortable living with a bunch of strangers. So I just don't know what to do. I think it would be so much better if I would have just died... I hate my life.
I'm sorry to just dump all this... I just don't know what to do or how to even make it through another day here...
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