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A bit of a ramble but looking for advise - may trig
I'm pretty busy lately with my new job. There is lots to learn. I wanted a job to give me some structure and some money of course but it has it's drawbacks!
I just wanted to ask really if you have to self harm to use this site. I used to self harm quite a lot but now I only do very occasionally. I tend to use this site as an outlet for any ' emotional issues' and also to feel part of something where I can give something back when I feel up to it.
I have found it hard to admit to ' getting there' as far as my depression is concerned. I think I came to rely on the CAMHS service ( I am still involved with them to a degree, there is discussion about me joining group as a kind of exist stratagy. I recognise I cannot stay in CAMHS forever.)
I have never been too good at mixing with people and honestly don't know why that is, I guess we are all different. I will always maintain that I have had an 'element' of depression in me since a very young age..say 5. I'm very self concious. I will look around and there will be all these girls who look; for want of a better word 'pretty' with gorgeous hair and I just look at them and think wow - Why can't I be like them?
It feels like I want to give up but I know that if I do and I get it wrong the company won't want me back and then I'll still be here, in a worse situation and to make matters even worse; without a job.
Well I have to go to bed now as I have work tomorrow but if people could look at this and maybe if I think of ore I want to say I will update it.
thank you so much,
Syrup.
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