I read that like you were talking about me! :)
Like you my whole teenage life was a rough patch which just went downhill from a very young age!
Anyway...this feeling..I believe it is ease, hope..excitement for the possible future you feel you can create for yourself...its a little glimmer of what we could feel all the time so its sad when we dont!
I think we end up back in our heads because of all our doubts, all the "what ifs" all our past experiences come to mind and try to suck us back into thinking its all hopeless!
I havent found an exact way to beat this yet (Waiting to start therapy in a little under two weeks now) so instead I just sit with it! Sometimes its torture... but it will pass and that warm fuzzy feeling will return ;) Try meditating on nice thoughts, but I understand when your in the depths of it meditating can be a struggle!
Try focusing on the things that you desire, that excite you, that you want to achieve while on this earth!
Just writing that made me feel like maybe dreaming too big is what brings me back down, I come back to reality and think "wtf am I thinking, I'll never get a chance to do that" but **** that!
Dream big, expect the unexpected and remember nothing is impossible!! I bet before you turned things around you thought things would never be good again? But they were! So just hang in there...lifes a rollercoaster full of ups and downs, we gotta swing with the punches!! Congrats for just getting to where you are right now, I know its not easy
