Had enough

[AuntyB]

I suffer from depression. I have done for as long as a i can remember. I think i was even depressed when I was a child. It got better for a while. But the last couple of years have just gone from bad to worse. And slowly the depressions come back. I'm going to be 30 in a few months, and lately i just keep thinking that i could live for another 30 to 40 years. My whole life over again. The thought of that terrifies me. Don't get me wrong, i have no wish to die right now. I wouldn't say i'm suicidal. I just don't really want to live either. It's too hard. I just don't know how to cope with these feelings anymore. It's like my life is never going to change. I'm always going to be like this.

[AuntyB]

Hi thumbelina. I'm not getting any support at the moment. I was taking citalopram at the beginning of the year, but it was making me ill so i stopped taking it. I keep saying i'll go back to my doctors, but i never do. most days i don't even go out of my bedroom.

[random.swirls]

I can so empathise with what you say as I to am 30 in a few months

Definitely go and see your dr again as you aren't giving yourself a chance to change how you feel and whilst medication may not be helpful you may find you can be refered for therapy or so on.

Things can change and I keep telling myself that if I persevere one day I will succeed though at times that can be impossible to believe I do think there is truth in it to

Xox

[AuntyB]

I don't like going to the doctors because everytime i phone up i can never get an appointment with the same doctor. The doctor i like told me to book appointments a few weeks in advance, the receptionist told me they can only book a week in advance. And they never have an free appointments.

I'm going to try and make an appointment this week. That will be my goal for the week.