Had enough
 

I suffer from depression. I have done for as long as a i can remember. I think i was even depressed when I was a child. It got better for a while. But the last couple of years have just gone from bad to worse. And slowly the depressions come back. I'm going to be 30 in a few months, and lately i just keep thinking that i could live for another 30 to 40 years. My whole life over again. The thought of that terrifies me. Don't get me wrong, i have no wish to die right now. I wouldn't say i'm suicidal. I just don't really want to live either. It's too hard. I just don't know how to cope with these feelings anymore. It's like my life is never going to change. I'm always going to be like this.

Hi thumbelina. I'm not getting any support at the moment. I was taking citalopram at the beginning of the year, but it was making me ill so i stopped taking it. I keep saying i'll go back to my doctors, but i never do. most days i don't even go out of my bedroom.

I can so empathise with what you say as I to am 30 in a few months

Definitely go and see your dr again as you aren't giving yourself a chance to change how you feel and whilst medication may not be helpful you may find you can be refered for therapy or so on.

Things can change and I keep telling myself that if I persevere one day I will succeed though at times that can be impossible to believe I do think there is truth in it to

Xox

I don't like going to the doctors because everytime i phone up i can never get an appointment with the same doctor. The doctor i like told me to book appointments a few weeks in advance, the receptionist told me they can only book a week in advance. And they never have an free appointments.

I'm going to try and make an appointment this week. That will be my goal for the week.