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Old 11-01-2010, 12:50 AM   #1
__T
 
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Sexual Urges

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her.

We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits.

She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all.

She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit."

We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings.

Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck.

I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."

She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.

Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?"

I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.... but at least she knows I'm smarter than her.

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Old 11-01-2010, 01:08 AM   #2
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hahaha



Have left RYL.

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Old 11-01-2010, 01:28 AM   #3
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.....





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Old 11-01-2010, 01:34 AM   #4
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That was a good one




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Old 11-01-2010, 01:39 AM   #5
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Hahaha! I like!



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"it’s when you’re acting selflessly, that you are at your bravest"
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Old 11-01-2010, 01:48 AM   #6
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I was so about to give a serious answer to this...


but yeah, i snickered

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Old 11-01-2010, 02:00 AM   #7
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12345



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Old 11-01-2010, 02:04 AM   #8
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haha thats a good one!



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Step back, breathe and take it in




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Old 11-01-2010, 02:34 AM   #9
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I laughed
I'm surprised she didn't smack you tbh XD



“Because everything that goes around comes around. Maybe it's luck or maybe it's fate, but either way, it comes back around."

Rest in Love Sar-sis. I'll see you the next time around hopefully <3 12/11/92-05/18/16
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Old 11-01-2010, 02:38 AM   #10
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ROFL =p

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Old 11-01-2010, 06:40 AM   #11
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Hehe.

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Old 11-01-2010, 08:57 AM   #12
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Thats good!



I am now not going to use this account as my main one from now on.
If you want my new account PM me. xxx

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Old 11-01-2010, 09:54 AM   #13
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lol yeah i read that before xD tis awsome =]



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Old 11-01-2010, 01:31 PM   #14
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Love it =D




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Old 11-01-2010, 01:53 PM   #15
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fantastic!




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Old 11-01-2010, 02:48 PM   #16
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LMAO! Love this.
i didnt realise it was a joke at first. haha
You made my day a little bit brighter :)



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Old 11-01-2010, 03:38 PM   #17
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Ha yeah I didnt realize it was a joke at first either! Love it hahaha!!






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Old 11-01-2010, 03:51 PM   #18
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Hahaha, definitely better with the not realising it was a joke until about half way through :P
Loveit.



"Be nice. Think happy thoughts. Champion silver linings. Love all things (not just cute things like babies and kittens) & when you do love - love like they do in power ballads (you know like on a cliff with the wind in your hair and your eyes shut, knowing you'll never know love like this). Watch out for dog poo. Smile at people - even grumpy ones. Remember anything is possible & whatever you do always try to look on the bright side."

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Old 11-01-2010, 04:46 PM   #19
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hahaha thats epic



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Everyone else is already taken


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Old 11-01-2010, 05:07 PM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AnotherPlaceToFall View Post
LMAO! Love this.
i didnt realise it was a joke at first. haha
You made my day a little bit brighter :)

Good :]

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