there is this lad i like but he said to me that hes freaked out by my arms and i dont know what to do is it me on just how he feels. he said he dont want to come near me just in case he hurts me and now my head is all over the place what do i do can any one help me please
bu i want to stop anyway but how long do you have to not do it before you can think off gettin surgery in your arms if anyone knows please could you tell me thanks
I find that playing Guitar Hero or Tetris work wonders =D
Although I do prefer Guitar Hero.
It gets me angry at the game rather than at myself and it's so addictive, you just want to spend ages trying to get better.
I remember having really bad urges and no one was in, so I put on Guitar Hero and spent hours and hours playing it, first on Medium, then going on Hard and now I kick arse =D
Next, Expert ;]
I'm gonna tap him like a maple tree. I'm gonna search him for some syrups. I'm gonna be having sex with him.
i s/h when i was quite young, as earlie as 9. i didnt understand why, it continued till around 16. im 32 now, it started again last year. i got professional help as a teen, as an adult i cant belive iv gone back, i cannot speak about the way everything is effectn me, iam so tried of feeling stressed out.. and getn hurt by me.. i worked harder to change me.. i thought what could make me gain some control.. i searched my mind till i found an anwer.. id no idea what i was even lookn for.. i just had the urge to search ..as i had the urge to s/h. and one day i saw a add in the paper. for adult swimming lessons.. first thought was .. no way. that would mean id to expose my skin.. i thought i cant.. sure i a can hardly swim.. so i made a deal with my self.. try one whole season session a 6wk thing.. its not cus you'l like it.. its a diferent more personal reason.. i said to myself if you really wanna stop.. then go. i figured it had to work.. cus you can not get in the pool if you have an open wound. it worked any time i feel that urge i turn it to a healthy urge. im not out of the woods yet.. iv told myself that this is something you will always have to work on in your life.. so far i accept me and whats happen to me
Laughter is a direct route to the soul. It broadens your perspective, keeps you healthy, and makes an unbearable situation alot easier to deal with.
as for the swimming.. i actuall liked it a little.. over time i grew to love it.. for what it has done for me.. i havnt been in a while because things are so busy.. and already i feel myself slipping back. i hadnt been swimming since i was 10/11 latest 12 the pool was not near me. id leave my house at 6.15 and arrive at the pool at 8pm.. yes its a long drive for a half hour intensive swim.. they advance me after the second night to work on laps with 4 others. things were changing in a positve light. i didnt care about the barriers like distance or what would i say if someone questioned a scar i thought move along. the rest had reasons to be doin laps they wer training for trathalons an each one asked why each one joined when it came to me i had nothing.. so i smiled and said iam here for the work out, i find gym hard. but i knew in my heart why i was there... and thats the most important thing.. to be sure and satisfied inside.
Laughter is a direct route to the soul. It broadens your perspective, keeps you healthy, and makes an unbearable situation alot easier to deal with.
I try and remember how far I've come and who I'm doing it for. I'm NOT doing it for my mum, and I'm NOT doing it for my friends. I'm doing it for me. I know they'll be hurt and disappointed if I start again, but not as much as I would myself when I look back on it in a few hours time.
If I have to do something I look around the house and find a safe way to make myself feel as though I have have harmed, without doing any actual damage to myself. This can be from making some fake blood and painting it on my skin where I want to harm, from covering the part of me that i want to harm like I would if there were wounds/scars there.
I also try to sit down and do something creative. I'm learning how to play piano (self taught now), and I'm learning a peace by Emilie Autumn which I found 7 months ago and helped me through a rough patch of my life. Learning how to play it and hearing the words come from my own mouth is therapeutic in its own right. Plus knowing that the music is coming from my own hands and not someone Else's, and hearing how I improve from day to day builds my spirits and helps me get through the day.
If all else fails, I think about my friends faces the last time i gave them an update. When I told them I'd hit 3 months, all of their faces lit up and it made me so happy to know that, just by not doing something destructive for a length of time, I could make them smile gives me hope that I will be able to smile again and be happy, just as long as I can get through the next few hours without hurting myself.
I'm Angela's (dancing loony) guard dog, I'm Comatostatic's Squishy
Comatostatic is my Plague rat in a top hat
i learned a lot from my occupational therapist in the hospital.
bouncing balls.
hold a bouncing ball at your belly button and at a set time, release it, don't toss it, to the floor.
it centers you.
bean bag tapping therapy- sounds off-the-wall, but on a certain level, SI is a sensory issue. It helps to retrain the body more positive sensory input. And gently tapping the bean bag on your arms and legs can help relieve anxiety and stress, and can help through urges.
I text my friends or talk to them on MSN. If it's friends that know about it I can tell them exactly what's going on and they can try and persuade me not to, obviously, but it's still OK with friends that don't know, I just don't mention why I'm texting them and I just chat to them about random things and it acts as a distraction.
If it's the day time then I get out of the house, if not then I find watching a light-hearted DVD really helps take my mind off things. Sometimes I do the 'I can cut in 15 minutes' thing and it really does work.
~"To the well-organised mind, death is but the next great adventure."~
i have been self harm free for about 12 months now.. what i found help, was taking a picture of my wounds, and when my skin was healed, and i felt triggered just seeing the damage, i could cause turn me off self harm.. if you don't like that idea, then maybe what i also found that helped was putting myself harm tools in a box and throwing them away.. so if i felt triggered, then i couldn't cut, because they weren't there.. but i think the best of all.. is just write down how you are feeling.. i hope this helped x
Last edited by blueskies and butterflies : 15-05-2009 at 11:46 PM.
Reason: made a spelling mistake
I would say, take one day at the time. Write down the date from your last SI, so you know when it was. If you want, you can count the days. After a while you realize that it's gone a week, or a month, or a year, and then when the urges come you can think about how far you've come, and wouldn't it be a waste if all those days because for nothing? Because even one single day is an achievement, so don't even think "it's just a day, I can start tomorrow" and stuff like that, because if you always think like that - then you'll never get anywhere.
your heart is a muscle the size of your fist
keep on loving, keep on fighting
and hold on, and hold on, hold on for your life
I really find it helps to just talk to someone! If you're like me though, and you're often up very late feeling crap with nobody awake or online on msn, I find taking a warm (WARM, not boiling hot ;D D;) shower, and relaxing with some music helps a lot. If you need release, try tearing up an old phone book or smashing some ice cubes, I also find that fake blood works really well.
Good luck, you are all capable of giving up! :D <3
I found that not counting how long I'd been free helped me. I remember the date of my last cut of any importance, because it was my Ex's birthday. But since then, I lost track of the days, the weeks and the months, until I finally got an urge the other day. When that happened, I worked out how long it had been since my last cut (which triggered me slightly) and it had been 5 months and 3 days. I was amazed at this because it was the longest I'd ever been. I told myself that if I could do that, I could reach the end of my exams, I could reach 6 months and beyond, simply by not counting!
I probably rambled there, but I hope it helps someone out there
Dancing to songs like Rock this party - Bob Sinclair. I'm currently doing that, although its just out of plain boredem this time, but i love doing anything physical to get my mind off si.
we are the fallen
we are the wounded
we are the shattered
we are the unheard
we are the brave
we are the strong we are Survivors. and..... we are the future
we fallen can still rise by the wings of hope that lifts us~
Although I've been 7 years free I still get the thoughts and intrusive images of self-harming, but that's Ok. I tell myself - a thought, an image, a feeling cannot hurt me unless I act on it. I found in the past that when I acted on these thoughts by self-harming, they only got worse and more frequent.
In the past I used to be worried about "putting off self-injury" because people told me this would make it worse - but to be honest this notion kept me trapped in a cycle of self-injury that was getting worse all the time. I did find that when I last relapsed 7 years ago, it was alot worse and alot more dangerous than I anticipated - so the fear that it could be worse than I intended this helps.
I guess I also think about the consequences (in reality) for others aswell as myself. If I am having thoughts of SI - I ask myself "What are the likely unintended consequences of SI for myself and others?"
A big step for me was to think about what I really loved in life that SI prevented me from doing - in my case owning pets and riding horses. I started by looking after my friends cats while she was in hospital for 3 months - I couldn't SI with the cats about, and then I took in my own cats, later started horse riding again (definately cannot do that well with SI) and now I own, care for and train 4 horses - the risk of relapse being fatal, and the thought of what would happen to my horses keeps me SI free. I've been free for 7 years now.
