Is it wrong to need someone?

[InvestigatorIX]

I have a partner.

She's amazing, and I need her.

A couple of times she has and a couple of friends have told me that it's unhealthy to need someone.

I need perspectives. I know what I think, but it's all confusing. This is causing me a lot of trouble because I feel like I'm wrong for needing her. It's tearing me up inside somewhat.

Is it wrong for me to 'need' my partner? Is it unhealthy? Is it just a part of what being in love is?

[~Grace~]

what do you mean by need?

Im married and there are times when i REALLY need him to be there for me, to be supportive, to listen, to help, to come with me if i need to go out...to just be there. But I consider that to be acceptable in a relationship as i would do those things for him. xx

[crazykat]

Depends what you mean by need? It's okay to need your partner to be supportive of you and to be there for you. However it works both ways, you both need each other. Relationships are give and take.

[Margo]

Define "need"

[InvestigatorIX]

Okay, Sorry for letting this drop, have been a bit blank on what to say on this front and I kinda feel up to it today.

I need her in the kind of way that Grace mentions, and I feel the same way about it being acceptable.

The relationship I have with her is give and take, she needs me as I need her.

At what point does it go from okay to not okay? If someone needed someone so much that without them they would be pushed 'over the edge' without them, is that too far?

I'm thinking that it's natural for people to need other people (some need other people more than others) but how do we decide what is healthy and what isn't? Does it just come down to what we feel comfortable with in our relationship?

I feel comfortable with the levels of need in my relationship with my partner, I guess that would make it all okay then...

[Pomegranate]

Does your partner feel comfortable with the levels though? And what do you think would happen if she was not there?

[InvestigatorIX]

A pair of very pertinent questions, really. The answer to the first I am sure is 'yes' and the other answer is in a list of things that I don't feel comfortable posting on the boards.

I'm not really being specific to myself any more, I'm drawing on comments people have made to me about the relationships they were in.

Is it wrong to need to see a partner every day? or is it only wrong if either one of the partners feel uncomfortable with it?

[Papercut]

I often find that i need my boyfriend too and yes sometimes it gets to the point where it physically hurts because we have to be separated, buutt, it dosn't stop us coping without one another, we can manage, so i think tahts the most important thing. You can love and someone as much as you want, but i think it becomes unhealthy when you become comepletely dependant on them and have trouble functioning without them.
O_o i hope that made sense xD
Take Care x

[Papercut]

Ahah Now i feel like a hypocrite (: My relationship must be also unhealthy, i hate not seeing my boyfriend, mehhh, i think as long as youre both happy and give each other space when you need it, you'll be fine xD

x