Triggering (Sexual Abuse) - telling a partner

danskpige · 20-05-2009, 01:07 PM

ok i wanted some advise. i have an amazing partner and i told him about my ex whih was amazingly hard. i'v tried to hint that that isn't the only thing in my past but hes not picked up on it. thing is he often says stuff like he wants to hurt my ex for what he did but my ex lives in another ontry an they are just words. but im worried what he will do if i tell him about the other things that have happend as both those men live close by and are still around in the edges of my life. how do i tell him about them? what if he meetsthem one day? should i change their names so he doesn't know who they are?
anyone got any advice, personaly i think im not going to tell him its more trouble than its worth but i feel like im keeping it from him.

shadow-light · 20-05-2009, 01:10 PM

I think that you should tell them... it's hard, but in the long run worth it

maybe you could try writting it down? if it's easier to change the names maybe just use initials? you could write it from the third person perspective too, that's far easier.

danskpige · 20-05-2009, 01:17 PM

thanks telling him is hard but i can do that iv onte it once and i can do it again. iv just got to work out wehter or not i should tell him who they are cause he is likly to meet them and he would i think at the lest have a go at them which would make everything very public, not somthing i want. but if i lie an use fake names, well then i've lied to him and i dont want to do that. is there any advise on how to get him to acept my past and not want to get revenge for it.

btw shadow-light many many hugs, you are so often the first to post with help thank you

Tuesday · 20-05-2009, 03:51 PM

It might be a good idea to not tell him who they are; you can always tell him specifics like that later. *Big hugs* I hope it goes alright. You could always just explain your hesitation about revealing the specific identities, and hopefully he would understand.

danskpige · 21-05-2009, 06:13 PM

thank you everyone hes coming to see me tomorrow so i think i will tell him and hope he doesn't ask their names.