Feeling confidant with scars.

[loveishere]

I have taken to wearing sleeveless shirts lately. My scars are still very visible, but I decided that I want to be confident and proud of my body no matter what I am wearing. And around my family and my closest friends I feel okay, and sometimes around other people too, but sometimes out of nowhere I will start feeling very self-conscious and want to cover up. Especially at my church where I have known everyone since I was little and I am terrified that they will ask about it. And they stare, which is sometimes uncomfortable. And also especially when meeting new people, because I am sometimes scared they will think I'm a freak. But I did challenge myself by wearing a sleeveless dress to my school prom, which I am quite proud of myself for.
Anyway, my point is, can anybody relate with how I'm feeling and does anybody have support or advice on how to feel more confident and comfortable with myself? Or if anyone would just care to say nice things to me, that always helps.
Is it realistic to expect to feel 100% okay with my body? or at least in the mid to high 90 %s?

[Breeze]

I can totally relate. I have the same thing every year when it comes to short sleves. I am by mid summer more at ease but I never have short sleves when I'm at St John Ambulance, I feel awqward about that,shame even. And as I am the care giver I feel I should hide them.

But otherwise I try and relax and go short sleves. I am aware of people staring but I have to do it or I'll be in hiding forever.

I don't think I'll ever be 100% about body but I have to be strong and sod the negativity of others re my scars.

[Moonlight Princess]

I think it's great that you wore a sleeveless dress to your prom, (well done :)) andI really think you're doing the right think here by just practising in different situations. Being 90 or 100% okay with your body is a great target. Personally I think everybody should aim for that.

With your scars I'm not sure if I have any great advice for you but I guess I would try to remember that you are so much more than your scars and if ever you get a bad reaction then just think to yourself that that person is missing out on getting to know the real you. The kind of people who you want to be around you will still want to be around you, scars or no scars even if it does take a little time.

"The people who mind don't matter and the people who matter don't mind"
Kiran
xx

[Silver Phoenix]

I don't bother hiding my scars 99% of the time. The onl time I do is for job interviews., Sometimes I do get self conscious about it and once or twice have had people make nasty comments but on the whole no-one ever says anything. I even notice people staring anymore.

Maybe you coud try use cream the reduces the scars if that will help you feel more comfortable? Or wear a long sleeve top but roll the sleeves up that way if you are made to feel uncomfortable you can cover them up?

[loveishere]

Hi, thanks guys.
It's like I know that I am beautiful despite my scars and that the people who love me wont care and that it doesn't matter what other people think, and all that, it's just sometimes I don't completely believe it. But I have been believing it more and more. I just have to keep reminding myself.

[midnite]

i can also relate, it wasn't until just over a year ago that i started wearing short sleaves, though i started to wear them in public before i did in front of family. i figured i'd prob never see those people again so teir opions didn't matter. good for you for trying to make a go of it, i think the more you do it, the easier it'll become, if you act like you're not really bothered then other people also won't react so much

[celuthea]

I've never hidden my scars, or any bandages, plasters and the like that I needed for my injuries; if people ask, I just look at them blankly and say, "What scar/bandage/plaster?"

I can very much relate to feeling self-conscious about them, I know that when my Nan found out about my self harm, I went out of my way to cover up every scar and mark, because she'd question every single mark all the time. I agree with midnite, that the more you practice going out with your scars on show, the less it will worry you. Good luck and take care! x

[Crumple...]

I would consider myself to be confident with my scars. They're not going to go away, this is how I am so why should I hide? However I do still get self concious, it's only natural. I cover up around my family (Excluding the family I live with) but around friends and at work and just about town I don't care.
None of us can go on hiding, I suppose acceptance of our scars comes with having them for a long time. It just dawns on you that if you've got no actual wounds then there's no reason to hide.
But still, I've had comments and if I'm feeling low they can knock me a bit but whatever, we all have our off days.
It's great you've started wearing short sleeves, I know how hard making the leap is.

[airwolf282]

I'm sorry that I don't have any useful advise because I don't have the courage to go out in public with my scars visible. I just want to congratulate you on being able to. You should be so proud of yourself for being able to accept the way you are and not give a damn about what others might think. I'm sure that is a huge step forward for you.

[*..life in pain..*]

i can relate. sometimes its hard and i feel self-conscious like you, but other times im cmfortable and i don't care what other people think.

[teenytineytori]

I think that as you become more confident with yourself that naturally you become more comfortable with your scars. It becomes a part of your past that helped shape you but they are not who you are.

I go through phases where I am worried about my scars. I feel as if they are very noticeable but many times only those people that have themselves had problems with self injury are the people that notice the scars.

Also, not making sure I am always covered up has helped me not to self injure. I think about the fact that I would have to cover up and be worried about it all of the time and that people would know that I was covering up new self injury. It really helps because I do not want to explain myself to everyone around me.

good job with the prom :)

[momo432]

i think it's great that you can show your scars! i used to do it too, until i messed up again.

just remember that "those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind", which i think is really true when put in this context

xx

[mr bump]

well done! (:
if you've got the courage to do it then thats a fantastic acheivement

i have to say im not quite as confident just yet. nobody knows ive started self harming again..

once again, congrats!