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Old 13-04-2009, 12:47 AM   #1
x.ILY.x
♥claireabell♥
 
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Adult - adult nursery rhymes, *rude**swearing*

Mary had a little skirt
with splits right up the sides
and every time that Mary walked
the boys could see her Thighs
Mary had another skirt
'twas split right up the front
...but she didn't wear that one very often


Mary had a little lamb
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
between two chunks of bread.


Georgie Porgy pudding and pie.
kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play,
He kissed them too...cause he was funny that way


Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
to have some hanky panky.
Silly Jill forgot her pill
And now there's little Franky.


Old Mother Hubbard
Went to the cupboard
to fetch her poor dog a bone.
When she bent over
Rover took over,
And gave her a bone of his own.


Little miss moffit
sat on her toffit
eating sausage and chips
along came a spider and sat down beside her
and she bashed the poor blighter to bits


Jack be nimble, Jack be quick
Jack jumped over the candle stick
Dear oh dear he should have jumped higher
Oh good gracious, great balls of fire


Mary had a little lamb
It's fleece was white and whispy.
Then it caught Foot and Mouth Disease
And now its black and crispy

Mary 'ad a little pig
She couldn't stop it gruntin'
She took it down the garden path
And kicked its f**king c**t in!!!!!



Hey Diddle, Diddle,
The cat did a piddle,
All over the bedside clock.
The little dog laughed to see such fun
Then died of electric shock.




The following content has been hidden - Reason : sexual content... rude and disgusting but funny
Humpty Dumpty sat on the bed

The following content has been hidden - Reason : sexual content... rude and disgusting but funny


Little Bo Peep was giving him head


As he came, she started to weep

She could tell by the taste he'd been shagging her sheep








Roll, roll, roll your joint

twist it at the end,

take a puff,
thatís enough
and pass it to a friend


Mary had a little pig,
She kept it fat and plastered;
And when the price of pork went up,
She shot the little bastard.


Mary had a little lamb,
The doctors were astounded,
And everywhere she went,
Gynacologists surrounded.


Mary had a little watch
she swallowed it one day
and so she took some Epsom salts
to pass the time away
But though she tried, and tried, and tried
she couldn't make time pass
So if you want to know the time
just look up Mary's ass


Mary had a little lamb
its fleece was black as charcoal
Every time she stroked it,
sparks flew out its ********


Song a song of siphilis,
A fanny full of crabs,
4 and 20 ulcers,
Covered in scabs,
When the scabs were opened,
The **** began to sing,
Isn't this a dirty place to put your penis in?







Last edited by x.ILY.x : 13-04-2009 at 01:06 AM.


[ƸӜƷ]x.ILY.x[ƸӜƷ]
" I believe [dreams] are sacred, Take my darkest [fears] and play them, like a lullaby, like a reason [why]"
*********************
[R.I.P Trevor *Twiggy* dilley]
"FOREVER, I PROMISE"


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Old 13-04-2009, 12:58 AM   #2
SilentJudgement
 
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I laughed. Hehe. x)



Count the garden by the flowers, never by the leaves that fall. Count your life with smiles and not the tears that roll.

ily silvermist - long-lost twin !


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Old 13-04-2009, 01:39 AM   #3
extreme turbulance
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some of them were funny, others werent quite so funny! thanks for sharing though! i laughed in the way an 11 year old school boy would have laughed!






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Old 13-04-2009, 01:44 AM   #4
DestroyMe
Everybody Lies. the only variable is about what
 
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I laughed at all of them...but then again most of my friends are guys so I have a bit of a perverted sense of humor :)



The terrible things that happened to you
didn't make you, you. you always were.



there is a terrible cost to dark magic..but you know what they say. You can't take it with you.


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Old 13-04-2009, 01:52 AM   #5
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HA nice omg wow :P


i love things like this if you got more post 'em

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Old 13-04-2009, 09:54 AM   #6
Master Of Deceit
 
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lol..

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