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Triggering (SI) - why is this all I feel - sort of rhetorical question
I was hoping my moods were improving this week, I hadn’t crashed badly, just felt mildly down. I slept badly last night though and so I didn’t get up this morning for a run.
I don’t feel anything though, only the need to cut. I stood in front of the mirror doing my makeup and all I wanted to see was blood running down my arms. I wanted to feel pain *sigh*
Things are fine, left hubby in bed ‘cos he’s on early shifts tomorrow, dropped J at school and then driving away all that kept me from pulling out in front of someone was the thought that I could hurt someone other than me.
I don’t understand why I’m feeling like this, at the moment work is fine, home is fine, the sun is shining, but I feel nothing other than the need to hurt myself, *cries*
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