I know I haven't been around much lately or able to help anyone else but I'm struggling and just really need some support or kind words or something.
Starting back at uni hasn't been as good as I'd hoped. I just feel like a complete burden on my friends, that it'd be better if I went off and left them. But that might just be because I feel crap. I have been for ages.
I had an appointment with a counsellor. I went, but couldn't get out the car. I just sat and cried. Felt so bad that I'd wasted my friend's time. I don't see how counselling will help me anyway. Talking about stuff with a stranger won't help me. It hasn't before.
My legs are a mess and I'm slipping back into my old ways of restricting. I don't want to but it makes me feel better. I know that's stupid.
I just want to be normal, to be better. *sigh* So pathetic.
hey,
why do u feel a burden on ur friends? they wouldnt be better off if u left them, they care about you
what support are you getting at the moment? what do u think would help you? dont worry if u dont know, i dont have a clue how to answer that question.
its not stupid. slipping back into ur old ways of restricting is dangerous though
you will get better, life will get better. just need to keep fighting this
we're all here for you *hugs*
xxxx
Well no one wants to be around someone who is also so down, who takes every comment personally. I don't want to be told to "cheer up" anymore. If I left them alone then they could be their happy-clappy selves (I'm not at all bitter...)
Support. Erm. Not much. I have a couple of friends who I talk to, but end up feeling bad after because I've made them bad for not being able to help me. The doctor put me on pills then took me off them after three weeks because he thought counselling would be more efficient. He doesn't know the extent of things though. There is a SH counsellor who I could see, but don't really want to. I know it's wrong, I know why I do it, I know all the distraction techniques.
God knows what will help me :( A new life would be a good start.
Talking to a stranger is always so daunting and quite frankly sh*t scarey, I've been there many times and I know how your feeling. Talking effects people in different ways, sometimes it helps instantly, sometimes it takes a while and sometimes it doesnt help at all, whichever way it goes, theres always other options available to you. Dont give up hope, keep on going, keep trying with appointments to see someone, keep trying to reach out, talking to your friends isn't being a burden, its being a strong person and saying to them, look i'm not doing so great and i need someone to talk to. is strong, its part of being a human. Your friends would want you to talk to them rather than keep it in and suffering. They will want to be there when you need them, what are friends for after all? Dont be scared about talking to them, they might be able to help in more ways than what you realise. Keep on going, take one step at a time and you'll get there, even if it is a slow process. If there is ever anyone you want to talk to, my PM box is always open.. and I can tell you now you definatly will not be and never would be a burden to me or to anyone here on RYL. x
**If You Love Someone Or Something Enough, Set Them Free.**
You are not a burden, and I'm sure you're friends are trying their hardest to contemplate what you're going through at the moment.
I know the thought of therapy is scarey at first, but after a while, after you get to know your therapist better, you will find it easier to open up and talk to them. And talking does help.
*huge hugs*
Dont know what to say, but just wanted to let you know I read you're post, and am thinking of you. xxx
"People have abused you lots in the past? Why do you then abuse yourself more?" - Quote
Sometimes I feel like I'm alone, Sometimes I feel like I'm not that strong, Sometimes I feel nothing at all, Sometimes I feel vulnerable, Sometimes I feel a little fragile
Thanks everyone. I'm a bit better than I was. Uni is starting to stress me a bit though. So much to do, so little time, so little motivation.
I've been talking to one of my friends quite a lot. He's so sweet, and doesn't deserve all the crap I put him through, but he's always there.
EDIT: I'm slowly getting back to eating more as well, since I was falling back into my restricting regime. And after cutting quite badly I'm not feeling the need so much. Hopefully it will stay that way.
Im glad your feeling a little better and eating more. Im sorry you cut babe try not to do that again xx,
If you ever need to chat just PM me okay xxx
I Hope you feel better soon x
"People have abused you lots in the past? Why do you then abuse yourself more?" - Quote
Sometimes I feel like I'm alone, Sometimes I feel like I'm not that strong, Sometimes I feel nothing at all, Sometimes I feel vulnerable, Sometimes I feel a little fragile
