i think im relapsing. i was doing okay...struggling with my thoughts about being a healthy weight, but i was still eating...and now...i just cant. its like its all got too much, i havent eaten anything in a while and i have got away with it because ive been working, and my excercise is increasing, and for the first time in the last few days im at home (i live with my boyfriend and his family) for dinner and his mum is cooking it and i dont know what to do. im sure i havent lost any weight, i dont even feel hungry. i feel sick and i cant face it. i dont know what to do. im so scared. and i think the worst thing is that im losing the reasons why i want to be healthy. being in control like this feels so good. i dont want to eat anymore. i dont know how to handle this. please help me.
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Last edited by [Purple_Rain] : 13-04-2009 at 08:33 PM.
Reason: please do not post number of days not eaten
[center]" I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside."
first of hunni, its great that uve recognised ure starting to slip into old habits. Do you have anyone you can talk to about this that can help even if its just to listen? I understand the idea of food rite now makes u feel sick, but the only real way forward is to keep trying regardless. Start off with bland foods such as dry toast, crackers etc and try and increase it from there. Youve done so well in recovery from what youve said so i know you can do this. I guess all i can say is to try and keep reminding yourself of the slippery slope that comes with restriction - the tiredness, withdrawal, depression, potential physical complications etc. I think the longer you avoid food, the more terrifying the fear of eating will become.
Keep fighting sweetheart - you CAN do this!
much love
Dani
xx
I fully understand how it feels to be scared of food and feeling sick around it. I agree with the above poster - just try to manage light, bland things to start. I often get scared of chewy things or solids, so I know how you feel. It's understandable that you find this "control" hard to break - I think many do. But getting in control of your recovery will feel so much better and more empowering! You have all of us behind you, sweetheart :) Stay strong and PM me anytime
ivemanaged to talk to my mum about it, but i dont want her to panic. im managing a bit better, but its so hard. i just want to be free. xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
[center]" I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside."
