Who do you tell that you self harm? Is it people you love, or people you know won't mind?
I find it easy to tell people that I know won't judge me over it. Like today, I found it OK to not care that people saw my scars, even though there was someone there that I'd only met today. But I felt OK with it cause I knew he wasn't going to judge me over it. Me and my best mate and my mate were having a convorsation about it, and even though I haven't seen my mate in years, I felt OK telling her, because I know that I wasn't going to be judged or treated differently over it.
But I can't bring myself to tell the friends that I've known for years cause I feel like they'll judge and treat me differently over it...and they used to make fun of people who SIed, saying it was stupid and stuff. a
And I can't tell my parents, cause I know that they'll treat me different and stuff.
So what's your story?
'Maybe it's not my weekend, but it's gonna be my year'
Self-harm free since 18.4.2008 <3
I don't tell my mom, mostly because she isn't too hip on the idea that I go to therapy in the first place. I tell my friends, my boyfriend, and my therapist that I self harm. Oh, and people here on the forum. Most of the time I wear short sleeves just because wearing long sleeves all the time gets too warm. I'm sure I get looks, but I don't have strangers ask me about the cuts.
I'm so sick and tired of the taste of tears the sting of pain the smell of fear the sounds of crying
-Voltaire "Feathery Wings"
i told everyone and was not suprised when no one understood they thought i was attention seeking but i wasnt so i was pretty much on my own just dont be afraid to show them off and if people ask and want to no then fine if not the f**k off basicly lol hope that helps pm me if u need me xxx carly xxx
I told one of my mates because it seemed like the right thing to do. She's quite a bit old that me so I knew she wouldn't judge me for it and she'd helped me through quite a bit before. She knew I was depressed and stuff and her brother used to SI when they were younger so it just kind of seemed right. I told her via text though because there was no way I could've told her in person. That was 18months ago, I've told some of my flatmates since because I got drunk/ situations meant they had to be told but I've only talked to the first one about ti once but we talk about it via text coz its just less awkward for me and I don't see her as often now. But I could never tell my parents, thats just way too scary!
I don't talk about my self-harm often, but I'm fairly open about it. I've accepted my scars as part of who I am, and have worn short sleeves for quite some time. Back in high school, I did projects on self-injury and handed out fliers on SIAD...I always lied and said I was recovered, though.
I can talk about SI in general, no problem. I can talk about my own problems in the past tense, though that takes a little more courage. Only people I really trust know that I still deal with it. (I'm lucky to know a lot of very trustworthy people though - so that's actually a larger group than it sounds!)
In new groups of people that I hope to become friends with, I try not to talk about any of my problems until they get to know me apart from all of that first. Seems to work pretty well, I've got a whole group of amazing friends who know about my problems but don't define me by them. And they do a great job of reminding me that there's more to me than my problems, too. =)
Anyway, I'm currently back to wearing long sleeves part-time because I've got some pretty noticeable newish scars. But only around my family and my little cousins. Anyone else, if they're going to judge me by my scars, I don't need them.
I don't really tell people who knew me pretty well while I was still SIing, because it just make me feel guilty for not asking them for help. People I met after I stopped, I'm not nearly as hesitant. If it comes up, I'm fine talking about it.
I told people that I trusted, the people I was closest to.
But, that's not always the best option because they didn't understand and ended up telling a load of people at school.
I also told people who were going through the same thing, that was the best thing I did because they understand.
I'm pretty open about it now, so many people know that I don't see the point in hiding it all the time.
Good luck with finding someone to tell!
x
If we fall,
we don't need self recrimination or blame or anger -
I told one friend, who told other friends, and now I have no friends
*hugs* I'm so sorry that it turned out so badly. I hope things get better for you xxx
Its tough telling people. Really tough. I've only managed to tell one person (one of my best friends) and that was only because she had been through a similar experience. Its backfired a little because talking to her about SI, upsets her. Shes not a self harmer but she gets really depressed when I talk to her about it because it reminds her of how unhappy she is. It sucks but thats one of the reasons as to why I come on to RYL. If I had friends who had knew and understood about SI then I probably wouldn't been on here so much.
Through my experience, telling people about SI does not depend on how well or long you've known them but on how you think they are going to react to it. Which is why my other best friend who i've known for years, still does not know.
I've had to think about this for a while. For me, its not the people who I love the most, and its not people I trust the most either.
I tell the people who I think I owe it to them that they know. Does that make sense?
Like, my chemistry teacher knows because I think that hes done so much for me, looks out for me and truly cares that I should have the decency to give him the whole picture. Now dont get me wrong, I also trust him a lot...but I trust my friends a lot and they dont know this time round.
I have to feel secure with the person and safe, but mostly...i ask myself 'should they know?'.
Sorry to confuse the issue!!
Mimsy xx
I told my guidance counselor who told me mom who told my nurse practitioner all were pretty shocked. I also told a few of my friends and one of my aunts who have been really supportive.....
Big Sister:Squiggles Little Sister: PaintItBlack Cousins: dereksarah, Hollz
I've only told one person. My best friend. She was going through some stuff and she started doing doing something that i did when i first started self-harming and so i told her that if she carried on she'd end up somewhere worse. She stopped and it isn't something we really talk about now. i don't know if she's scared to ask or if she's fine with it. Its just something we don't discuss.
I've told my bf, a best friend, and my previous counselor pissed me off by making me tell my rents. Otherwise, people who know only know because they saw them, unfortunately for me.
In recovery since April 2010.
You give me strength, Jacob.
My flatmates know, because of my drunken stupidity, and my parents know from when I got taken to A&E, I think that they needed to know, even though I didn't want them to, because now they have a slight understanding if thing's aren't going that well. But it's difficult because when I go home I can always feel them looking for scars and wondering why I'm in long sleeves etc.....
My GP and councellor know as well, for obvious reasons. I find it really hard to talk about in "real life" though
"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. Make us all feel wonderful. We'll never forget."
quite a lot of people know about mine. my mum, dad and step mum. loads of friends at school. (but only ones that i trust and most only know coz they have seen scars/cuts). my councellor and gp. my fave teacher, a food technology assistant and some crazy women who is in charge of pastoral care at my school. quite a few, mostly nosey buggers that i would prefer not to know.
Erm...My friends used to know a few months back, but now we don't talk about it. I did tell a teacher that I did it, but then school weren't happy with me talking about such issues with him as he wasn't qualified enough, so that went down the pan....
I also tell the person at CAMHS. And she's the only person I regularly tell, aswell as the people on here.
'Coincidence...it's what the Universe does for...fun.'
The Doctor
