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Old 16-10-2017, 01:30 PM   #1
chinahorse
 
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I have nothing to live for.

I need a reason to live. Any reason compelling enough will do. But not 'because x person would be sad'.

I can't.



Given enough tea I could rule the world.


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Old 16-10-2017, 01:35 PM   #2
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Because things can get better. Because you are a good person and deserves to live a happy life.

I don’t know if that helps. I hope things get better for you. I know how awful these thoughts can be. You aren’t alone here.





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Old 16-10-2017, 02:36 PM   #3
one_step_closer
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Because things change, even if it takes a while, so you may feel differently about your life at some point in the future. I know that it's hard to hold on to a vague concept like that but it's true that things change.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.

Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.

You didn't come this far just to come this far.


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Old 16-10-2017, 08:41 PM   #4
Elmer
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Because you deserve a life. You have worked so hard and come so far. Don't give up on yourself.



'It's an impossible choice ... I'll just have to hope that when I flip the coin it somehow explodes and kills me.'

"You're not scared of climbing mountains. You're scared that you can't make them move."

Jenna was here :P


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Old 17-10-2017, 10:30 AM   #5
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I do appreciate your replies.

I've had the best the nhs can offer. It's on the whole not worked.

I feel.horrendously low and sad.

My therapeutic community basically keep having a go at me. I'm never enough for anyone.



Given enough tea I could rule the world.


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Old 17-10-2017, 12:39 PM   #6
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I wish I had the right words to help you. I will leave some hugs though. *hugs*





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Old 17-10-2017, 11:39 PM   #7
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I'm sorry to hear you feel this way.

What does your current treatment look like?
I think you're not IP anymore by now?

The best reason to keep fighting is that otherwise all you have gone through so far would have been for nothing.
I believe you have a lot to give to the world and that there are good things waiting for you, even when that must be hard to believe from where you are standing now.



the sun

the moon

the truth


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Old 19-10-2017, 02:17 AM   #8
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:)

I'm IP until next Thursday. Upon discharge I will supposedly be meeting my cpn somewhat regularly. And I will start talking therapy once weekly in January.

I feel so hopeless. So low and depressed. Yet another day spent sobbing and sleeping. Yet another day of professionals and patients having a go at me.

I'm trying to hold on to the good, my few friends and the kindness they show.

I'm tired. Exhausted. In pain. The voices are ridiculously bad. But I'm afraid to speak.

I can not do this. I need to be heard.



Given enough tea I could rule the world.


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Old 19-10-2017, 05:34 PM   #9
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I’m so sorry Lillie. This must all be distressing. Keep fighting and holding on. You can get through this, but allow people to help you too. Take care.





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Old 19-10-2017, 05:50 PM   #10
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Just wanted to leave love and hugs x

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Old 19-10-2017, 09:22 PM   #11
chinahorse
 
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Thank you both.

It's all gone even further to rubbish. I'm spending most of my time sobbing or sleeping.



Given enough tea I could rule the world.


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Old 19-10-2017, 09:37 PM   #12
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Sending hugs. Maybe try get an early night. Sometimes a bit of sleep can do you good. Be kind to yourself and try take it easy. It won’t always be like this.





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Old 20-10-2017, 04:17 PM   #13
one_step_closer
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That is such a hard place to be in *huge hugs* I really hope that this passes for you soon. Have you managed to let anyone know how you're feeling?





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.

Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.

You didn't come this far just to come this far.


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Old 21-10-2017, 04:03 PM   #14
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*hugs gently*



'Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.'

['There is only one thing we say to death. Not today'.']

'We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell.’ – Oscar Wilde
‘It’s hard to dance with the devil on your back.’ Sydney Carter


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Old 22-10-2017, 10:56 AM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Elmer View Post
Because you deserve a life. You have worked so hard and come so far. Don't give up on yourself.
Lio said exactly what I was going to say!

Quote:
Originally Posted by chinahorse View Post
I've had the best the nhs can offer. It's on the whole not worked.
I'm so sorry you're feeling this way, I know that you tried incredibly hard to make it work and it sucks that they don't seem to have been able to make it work for you. Are there any positives you can draw from the experience/things that have improved through being there?

What would need to change for life to feel worth living?



No other sadness in the world would do


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Old 30-10-2017, 09:37 PM   #16
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Thanks for your replies guys. I'm sorry to bump this so long after posting.

In answer jenna, I just hope that things will crop up as I go along that I can realise came from my experiences over the past 9 months.

I feel so incredibly low. I miss some of the people at the unit terribly. I feel so lost in life now. I can't imagine working for the rest of my life. Life seems so utterly pointless I can't stop crying.



Given enough tea I could rule the world.


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Old 30-10-2017, 10:26 PM   #17
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Things sound really difficult, I wanted to leave you love x

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Old 30-10-2017, 10:49 PM   #18
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I’m so sorry you are struggling. I wish I had the words, but I do care. Please be kind to yourself.





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Old 02-11-2017, 07:01 PM   #19
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Originally Posted by chinahorse View Post
Thanks for your replies guys. I'm sorry to bump this so long after posting.

In answer jenna, I just hope that things will crop up as I go along that I can realise came from my experiences over the past 9 months.

I feel so incredibly low. I miss some of the people at the unit terribly. I feel so lost in life now. I can't imagine working for the rest of my life. Life seems so utterly pointless I can't stop crying.
No need to be sorry!

What are the rules about contact with people at the unit now you have left?

I think it's understandable to feel somewhat lost initially, as it's a huge culture shock coming back into the community after 9 months. Can you not imagine doing any work for the rest of your life, or just can't imagine doing this particular kind of work for the rest of your life?



No other sadness in the world would do


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Old 03-11-2017, 09:22 PM   #20
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I'm in regular contact with the people I'm friends with at the unit. It doesn't feel like enough though. I feel like part of me is left behind there.

It's any sort of work. I have no passions no interests.

My body is falling apart. I can't begin to describe the amount of pain I'm in at the end of a shift.

I can't do this. I'm falling apart.



Given enough tea I could rule the world.


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