BPD and the "favourite person"

[-Shae-Lynn*]

I'm on tumblr as well as RYL and over there, there is a lot of talk about having a "favourite person". Someone who you see as above everyone else, or something.

What are people's thoughts on this?

There is one specific person in my life that just comes up a lot. I don't see her as "more" than the other people in my life, I just know I like how I feel after we've spoken.

See... the problem for me is that what would be labeled as my "favourite person" is my medical doctor. I don't really know what to do about that because I (obviously, or I wouldn't be BPD-y) think she hates me.

Life is rough.

Any thoughts? Should I try to make a repair or should I see this as an unhealthy attachment?

[Epicene]

I'm not on Tumblr and I've never come across the idea of having a 'favourite person' so I don't quite know what it means.

It doesn't necessarily sound like anything pathological though; I think everyone judges their relationships and has people they connect more or less to. The only reason it would become a problem is if it influenced the relationship negatively or was causing difficulties in attachment.

As for you feeling so strongly about your medical doctor, I guess there could be potential issues. There will always be professional boundaries in place so you may not get the kind of closeness from a relationship that you desire, and although it's very unlikely that they really hate you, the intensity of how you feel about them is probably not reciprocated. All that said, if you can accept these things then it's not necessarily an unhealthy attachment. I know that I've really admired and liked certain professionals that I've had, and that kind of admiration can foster a certain healthy respect which makes the quality of therapy better.

[Voldemort]

I've never heard of this either. I don't have BPD but I definitely have a favourite person (my wife). Maybe I've misunderstood but I think the main thing about relationships with BPD is when they get very intense and are hot and cold.

[eye]

I see it all the time about BPD and honestly everybody no matter if they have bpd or not have a favorite person its just the level you idolize them. I know that gazzy is my FP but hes supposed to be. Dont read too much into it because its just a term coined by people that try to explain all the behaviours that is in fact human nature.