I'm not alive

[chickenpie]

I can't cope I can't talk to anyone I'm too bad I cause too much pain I know what's wrong with me but will never be different there's evil inside me I feed it I'm so fat because there's so much badness in me its spilling out infecting everyone they all stare at me can't believe I look so pale and fat and ugly and bad skin and I'm dirty its leaking out of me the poison I'm harming everyone I hate myself I can't talk to anybody I'm so sad I really need some help I want someone to be with me I am desperate I don't want to do this I am so close it will ruin things even more but this is about me and I am completely totally done I can't be here I can't tell anyone I know what I am I know the evil in me is laughing and getting bigger and I can't keep it in I need to cut it out I want all the badness gone I want this to go away I am so scared I can't talk to my therapist I can't deal with this nobody knows and it hurts so much I don't know what to do I feel dead broken forgotten I have been nothing today and now I am still nothing in bed with a blade its so sad its come to this its out of control its won I can never be what they all want its too much evil is too big need to face up stop poisoning everyone I hate myself I'm toxic and vicious . No more

[spiders*web]

http://www.robot-hugs.com/nononono/

(((((())))))) hugs to you. It sounds like you need someone to just say hey, hello, that must be awful, everything you're holding, is too much for one person

[chickenpie]

Aw bless thank you, actually that is kind of just what I need. I know deep down I am alone in this and all the advice in the world can't make this go away, but just knowing someone has heard has made me feel not so alone. Thank you x

[chickenpie]

I don't want to hurt myself how else do I get the punishment I need I am so scared I don't know what to do.

[chickenpie]

Doesn't matter any way I always say the same old rubbish shut up Gemma.