I just can't do this

FlyingPeanuts · 27-07-2014, 03:59 AM

I don't know. It's taken me days to get the courage to make a thread and i feel so useless and i want to OD an nothing makes sense and I'm so scared and confused. I don't want to remember it all anymore. I don't know. I don't know what to do anymore and I'm so tired and fed up and I don't know. This makes no sense. I'm sorry. I don't know why I;m posting. I'm going to post now before I change my mind.

nowhereman · 27-07-2014, 04:05 AM

I'm glad you found the courage to post. I know that can be hard for me sometimes too. And I don't make sense most of the time so don't worry. Not sure what to say but sending love and hugs as always x

talaiporia · 27-07-2014, 10:29 PM

Hi there. How are you feeling now?

FlyingPeanuts · 27-07-2014, 11:51 PM

Not good. I want to get out of this house, but I don't trust myself enough to leave - plus my mother would send out a search party. I need to get away form her though. I SHed a lot earlier because I can't handle how I'm being treated here. I feel like I'm being ridiculed and I'm so scared of everything.

nowhereman · 28-07-2014, 12:12 AM

I often feel I need to get out of the house and away from my mam too. It can get suffocating living together. I'm sorry you harmed yourself. It's ok to be scared. Don't let anyone ridicule you or make you feel less about yourself though.

FlyingPeanuts · 29-07-2014, 03:46 AM

Sorry to post again but things are really bad tonight.

FlyingPeanuts · 31-07-2014, 11:03 PM

I can't stop thinking about things I don't want to do and it's terrifying me. What should I do?

talaiporia · 02-08-2014, 04:08 AM

How are you feeling now?

FlyingPeanuts · 02-08-2014, 01:22 PM

I'm not sure. Part of me wants to act on some of my thoughts, another part of me really doesn't want to and the rest of me is just completely confused and scared. Does that make sense?

nowhereman · 02-08-2014, 10:06 PM

It makes perfect sense to anyone with mental illness. Try look after yourself, even if you don't feel you deserve it. I promise you do. Hugs.

FlyingPeanuts · 02-08-2014, 11:49 PM

The only reason I don't want to act on them is because I don't want to hurt people around me. I feel like I have to keep them safe and happy no matter what, even if it's hard for me.

FlyingPeanuts · 04-08-2014, 10:41 PM

I'm sorry to bump this again but I could really do with someone to hell me calm down.

smile_it_confuses_people · 04-08-2014, 10:53 PM

Hi, peanut, im smile, :)

Then lets calm down and find something to get ur mind wandering else where,

What's your favourite song i'm currently listening to placebo?

Or what do you like to read/watch?

FlyingPeanuts · 04-08-2014, 10:57 PM

My favourite Placebo song, or song in general?

I don't really watch much TV, and I haven't had a chance to read lately.

smile_it_confuses_people · 04-08-2014, 11:00 PM

Either way of any music u'd recommend having a youtube session.

I don't watch tv more of a anime gal.

FlyingPeanuts · 04-08-2014, 11:07 PM

Hang On To Your IQ is one my favourite songs.

what anime do you like?

smile_it_confuses_people · 04-08-2014, 11:16 PM

Just re-watched elfien lied, for the 100th time.
Bleach, still haven't finshed it, keep losing track. lol
Hacks, ghost in a shell, ergo proxy, vampire knights

God loads if I haven't watched it ill have read.
it was a big mistake getting an app for the phone.

FlyingPeanuts · 04-08-2014, 11:19 PM

I love Vampire Knight.

We should probably PM instead of using this thread, really.

smile_it_confuses_people · 04-08-2014, 11:23 PM

erm u'll have to tell me how to do that, I haven't been ere in a while

smile_it_confuses_people · 04-08-2014, 11:30 PM

Hey sorry peanut, my comuter needs to restart, its brand new having its issue ill answer ur pm it 5