Back after 8 years, needing some love and support

inkedknitter · 18-04-2014, 12:56 AM

Hey guys, My name is Zoe
So, I was last here when i was 17, I self harmed and was generally depressed. I fell in love and I generally got myself on track and got happy. We bought a house, We got married.
Then a just over a year ago I lost my way, I realised I had grown apart from him and try as i might I could not be happy. So I left. We got a divorce. I lost all of my friends apart from one.
I moved in with said friend and pretty soon we started seeing each other. He is my best friend. Over the last couple of months my depression started getting bad again, I was anxious and paranoid and having thoughts of self harm again. And I hid it. The paranoia tore us apart.
4 weeks ago today I took an overdose, he broke up with me, I became homeless and all my friends were so angry they pushed me away.
I have a chronic pain issue that ive had since I was 20, which stops me being able to work. So Im homeless, broke and very very alone.
Im not coping well with the world right now.
I dont know what to do, or how to get my life back.

Bellatrix · 18-04-2014, 05:38 PM

I can really empathise with how it feels to be pushed away by friends due to MH stuff. It ca feel very invalidating and rejecting.

You can start by trying to pick up the pieces and seeing what you have left. Do you have any access to benefits as you can't work? Mabye you can use these and support from CAB/Housing to get yourself a room in a shared house for a little while. There is also the option of hostles until you get yourself back on our feet.

As for friends, see who is still there and grieve for those you've lost - easier said than done but it's an important step. You could write them letters expressing how you feel and burn them, or throw them out. Then maybe look into free classes or cheap hobbies like art groups or music classes where you can meet some new people. You could even start by atteding meets on here if there are any in your local area.

I'm so sorry you've had to go through all this, and I hope you're feeling better after your overdose.

Please do use this thread for support and advice if you feel it would be helpful. I can't promise all these things will be fixed, but I can promise you won't have to be alone with it.

Wonderland. · 19-04-2014, 08:28 AM

It sounds like you are in a pretty dire situation.

The first priority is to get a roof over your head and food. I don't know where you live but here over in the UK we have charities which can help you get of the street and even get food.

Have you ever had any treatment for your depression and paranoia and anxiety? It might help to talk it through with someone. We are here, keep talking to us.

There is also the Supporters that you can speak to.

inkedknitter · 19-04-2014, 02:27 PM

Im staying with my mother, even though we really dont get on. Im on waiting lists to get somewhere to stay, but even the homeless shelters are full. Im in the middle of applying to go back to uni, but im struggling to find the strength to complete my application, september is so far away.