My mom has been getting meaner by the day... Keeps threatening to kick me out... Says I'll be gone if I don't graduate... I have no where to go if she kicks me out... Maybe I should just die...? She wouldn't have to deal with me and I wouldn't have to worry about finding a place to live...
Major Depression | Asperger's Syndrome | Anxiety NOS | Hints of OCD
Close your eyes. Don't you cry. Love's around you. In time, you'll fly. Don't you worry about the dark. I will light up the night with the love in my heart. I will burn like the sun that will keep you safe and warm. Like the smell of a rose on a summer's day, I will be there to take all your fears away. With the touch of my hand, I will turn your life to GOLD!
I'm in high school in America. We don't really study for our degree yet, but I dunno if I'll be able to get my diploma. It's so stressful.
I'm eighteen, but I'm not good with talking to official people like that. I'm a coward.
I don't have income to even get my own apartment/flat or even share a place. I'm just a bag of uselessness. It's not my fault I don't have a job though. My mom won't let me get one.
Major Depression | Asperger's Syndrome | Anxiety NOS | Hints of OCD
Close your eyes. Don't you cry. Love's around you. In time, you'll fly. Don't you worry about the dark. I will light up the night with the love in my heart. I will burn like the sun that will keep you safe and warm. Like the smell of a rose on a summer's day, I will be there to take all your fears away. With the touch of my hand, I will turn your life to GOLD!
Major Depression | Asperger's Syndrome | Anxiety NOS | Hints of OCD
Close your eyes. Don't you cry. Love's around you. In time, you'll fly. Don't you worry about the dark. I will light up the night with the love in my heart. I will burn like the sun that will keep you safe and warm. Like the smell of a rose on a summer's day, I will be there to take all your fears away. With the touch of my hand, I will turn your life to GOLD!
*hugs* you can lovely. It feels impossible but you CAN do it. Does anyone know how much pressure you're under??
So she lights up a candle for hope to be found
Captive and blind by the darkness around
Each wave a promise, a new hope reborn
Sunrise consoles at the break of dawn
Yes, they do... My friends do, but they can't really help... I'm too scared of being inpatiented if I tell my therapist... And then I'm just scared to even try to explain it to my mother...
Major Depression | Asperger's Syndrome | Anxiety NOS | Hints of OCD
Close your eyes. Don't you cry. Love's around you. In time, you'll fly. Don't you worry about the dark. I will light up the night with the love in my heart. I will burn like the sun that will keep you safe and warm. Like the smell of a rose on a summer's day, I will be there to take all your fears away. With the touch of my hand, I will turn your life to GOLD!
Why do you think they would want you to go inpatient?
It is obvious that you are very distressed and that you need support, just going by what I know about when they offer inpatient stays I cannot see them forcing you into one. What you need to do though is to work with the support that you have in place and that will only help you if you tell them how you feel.
Also, as you are eighteen your mum cannot decide that you cannot have a job.
That said, I am not sure if the pressure of holding down a job while so distressed about school things would be good for you.
Because they told me they'd send me away if I wanted to kill myself...
If I have a job, at least, I have some redeeming value if I do not graduate, so my mom MIGHT not kick me out if I don't.
Major Depression | Asperger's Syndrome | Anxiety NOS | Hints of OCD
Close your eyes. Don't you cry. Love's around you. In time, you'll fly. Don't you worry about the dark. I will light up the night with the love in my heart. I will burn like the sun that will keep you safe and warm. Like the smell of a rose on a summer's day, I will be there to take all your fears away. With the touch of my hand, I will turn your life to GOLD!
Quite frankly, if you are at a genuine risk of killing yourself you should be in hospital. But there is a huge difference between wanting to die/having suicidal thoughts and being likely to act on it. I obviously am in no position to say where you are with regards to that, but there would be an assessment before putting you in hospital and if they decided that you will be able to stay safe and hospital wouldn't be helpful then you would not be hospitalized.
Do you think it is realistic for you to find and hold down a job?
I feel like focusing on your recovery as well as school work would be a lot more beneficial for you. If your mum is against you having a job I am not sure she would consider it a redeeming feature?
Then, I might as well be inpatiented cause I have no where else to go.
Major Depression | Asperger's Syndrome | Anxiety NOS | Hints of OCD
Close your eyes. Don't you cry. Love's around you. In time, you'll fly. Don't you worry about the dark. I will light up the night with the love in my heart. I will burn like the sun that will keep you safe and warm. Like the smell of a rose on a summer's day, I will be there to take all your fears away. With the touch of my hand, I will turn your life to GOLD!
I want to kill myself.
If I don't graduate and my mom kicks me out, I'll probably TRY to kill myself more often than I do now.
I have the motivation of money and a roof over my head to make me wanna get and keep a job. Even if I have to lick toilets for a living. I think I probably could.
Major Depression | Asperger's Syndrome | Anxiety NOS | Hints of OCD
Close your eyes. Don't you cry. Love's around you. In time, you'll fly. Don't you worry about the dark. I will light up the night with the love in my heart. I will burn like the sun that will keep you safe and warm. Like the smell of a rose on a summer's day, I will be there to take all your fears away. With the touch of my hand, I will turn your life to GOLD!
I don't think anyone would pay you for licking toilets :P
Do you know how to look for a job etc? If not I would suggest discussing it with either a student advisor at school or maybe the local employment agency or similar. They could help you out.
Have you explained to your mum that you feel that way? Surely she'd rather not kick you out than have you dead.
I think you really need to talk to your support system i.e. either of your therapists as they are in a much better position to help with that than members on here. It is important to make use of the support available to you before things escalate. Working on graduating/ on the issue with your mum/ on making sure you have somewhere to go if your mum will kick you out will help preventing to get you into a situation where you'd killed yourself.
Yea, my mom has taught me a few things even though she's like "*grumpy cat face* No."
I try to explain things without mentioning I wanna kill myself and she doesn't listen. Plus, the last time she knew I wanted to kill myself, she looked at me like I murdered a baby. I didn't like that. I want to avoid that.
Honestly, if I don't graduate, I was planning on talking to one of them in our possible last meeting.
Major Depression | Asperger's Syndrome | Anxiety NOS | Hints of OCD
Close your eyes. Don't you cry. Love's around you. In time, you'll fly. Don't you worry about the dark. I will light up the night with the love in my heart. I will burn like the sun that will keep you safe and warm. Like the smell of a rose on a summer's day, I will be there to take all your fears away. With the touch of my hand, I will turn your life to GOLD!
Do you not think that it would make a lot more sense to talk to them before you even fail so that they can help you to not fail or look into what to do if you fail in advance?
They're trying to help me not fail, but they dunno I wanna hurt myself.
Major Depression | Asperger's Syndrome | Anxiety NOS | Hints of OCD
Close your eyes. Don't you cry. Love's around you. In time, you'll fly. Don't you worry about the dark. I will light up the night with the love in my heart. I will burn like the sun that will keep you safe and warm. Like the smell of a rose on a summer's day, I will be there to take all your fears away. With the touch of my hand, I will turn your life to GOLD!
It seems that you have pretty much decided how to deal with this, so I am not sure what else to suggest. Maybe somebody else has more advice, but as you have decided how to use or not use your support I'm not sure there is much else left to say.
My new boyfriend is trying to help me get my work done. I hope with his help I can get my classes done.
Major Depression | Asperger's Syndrome | Anxiety NOS | Hints of OCD
Close your eyes. Don't you cry. Love's around you. In time, you'll fly. Don't you worry about the dark. I will light up the night with the love in my heart. I will burn like the sun that will keep you safe and warm. Like the smell of a rose on a summer's day, I will be there to take all your fears away. With the touch of my hand, I will turn your life to GOLD!
1.) Not clearly, but I think it's something about wanting me to do better and she doesn't feel I'm trying. I AM trying though, but she doesn't believe me because I'm not as good as I use to be. I hate that she compares my grades now to that of me when I was in elementary school. High school is not the walk in the park elementary is.
2.) I'm scared because I need to finish high school. I'm scared of what would happen if being hospitalized gets in the way of that. They said one time to me when I told them I was cutting if I felt like killing myself they would probably put me in the hospital.
3.) They won't offer shit for my classes. They're all about "excellence". They don't care about the ones struggling, yet are still trying. The best they'd hand us is the option to do the online class if we fail the regular.
Major Depression | Asperger's Syndrome | Anxiety NOS | Hints of OCD
Close your eyes. Don't you cry. Love's around you. In time, you'll fly. Don't you worry about the dark. I will light up the night with the love in my heart. I will burn like the sun that will keep you safe and warm. Like the smell of a rose on a summer's day, I will be there to take all your fears away. With the touch of my hand, I will turn your life to GOLD!
She wouldn't have to deal with me and I wouldn't have to worry about finding a place to live...
