Hi. I really don’t want to lose weight. My plan was to gainweight and I’ve been working on it but since I moved, I guess I wasn’t reallyconcentrating on it. I did other things, run around and worked a lot. Irealized that my stress around food decreased and I believed that that isbecause I’ve been researching about nutritious and the way they will help meand my body. I had an amazing weekend and finally felt a bit better.
Than yesterday I went to the gym and weight myself. I lostseveral kgs since I moved…. I looked myself in the mirror and couldn’t believehow thin I look. That was not my intention. I still obsess about food but I don’twant to lose more weight. I feel so weak, just want to lie in my bad and sleep.
Don’t know what to do… How to revert this, howto finally stop this cycle? It seems like every time I stop thinking about myanorexia and start doing other stuff, I stop eating properly. And I don’t wantmy anorexia to be my first occupation any more. I’m tired of it….
Hi,
I think I kind of know what you are talking about. When I stop thinking about food, and what I am going to eat and so on and so on. And then I do a lot of things not thinking about food and then at the end of the day I realize that I forgot to eat. It's really a weird thing, because I just don't feel hungry or if I do it isn't hungry enough to interrupt what I am doing.
So.. what helps me to eat enough without thinking about food all the time?
Usually my mom cooks food and so I get to eat enough because of the meals together.
Another way that is working for me is, that I meet friends for dinner, lunch or even breakfast. Or I invite someone and we cook a meal together. That way I do something fun and I get to eat enough.
Would it work for you if you started to eat really regularly? It's like a routine thing, you don't think about it but you do it every day like getting out of bed and getting dressen and bathroom stuff.
Don't know if this is useful, but just what I was thinking.
You survived the abuse.
You're gonna survive the recovery.
Hey thanks for your advice and sorry for not answeringbefore. My mum also cooks and it helped me a lot when I was in my home countyto eat properly. I’m here on my own and really don’t have time to cook becauseI work at least 12 hours a day so I end up buying some salads with fish orchicken and eat that instead, as a healthy alternative to fast food. It’s notthat I forget to eat, I really have 3 main meals a day and 3 snacks but theproblem is that the total calorie intake is not enough. I realized that thisweek. I was never counting calories, not even when I was at my lowest weightbut here everything has a caloric label so I just summed up and was totallysurprized. It was far from recommended. I know it’s weird to start caloriecounting when you want to recover from anorexia but the problem is that to meeverything looks too much when I put it on a plate. It turned out that I don’teven eat enough salads because it looks so huge when you put it on plate but itactually has couple of grams.
I talked to my therapist over scype on Mondayand we agreed that I should start paying a bit more attention to my calorieintake, at least till I learn how much food is actually enough for my body. Ialso used to avoid dinners with other people but that’s a really good ideaLaura and I went to dinner last night with some friends. It was the first timeI actually enjoyed it because I knew for the first time that the meal Iordered, even though it looked huge to me, is actually normal size. Don’t knowhow to explain this and most doctors would probably say that I’m crazy to startpaying attention to calories now but it’s the only thing that keeps me calm. Mygoal is to eat bit more than recommendeddaily amount for women and this way I’m sure that I’m doing it…..
I don't think that it is a bad thing to start calorie counting in your situation.
When I had real problems with eating enough I started to write down everything I ate.
If you are using it as a tool to monitor if you are eating enough, then it is a good thing to do.
You survived the abuse.
You're gonna survive the recovery.
Just beware of which way you count calories x I downloaded my fitness friend and it keeps telling me the amount of calories I eat I could loose. A stone in 5 weeks they can be triggering x
I've been eating ok for a few days but it doesn't seem to work. I'm still terribly thin and it's starting to be depressing. I feel sick all the time, bloted from all the food.... than today i went to the gym and a friend who is trying to lose weight told me shr doesn't want to lose as much and be flat. She pointed at me... it was not a mean comment, i believe she doesn't realize how that affects me but i really felt awaful. I tried for soooo long to be thin and now it turns out that there is such a thing as too thin...
I came home and ate a bit more, felt so sick and had to trow up. Didn't want to but my stomack hurt. Don't know what to do, i'd just like to gain somehow but not have to eat... i just needed to tell this to someone, feel horrible that i made myself trow up...
Have you tried adding drinks like Ensures or Fortisips (one's more like a milkshake and one's more like a fruit juice) into your diet? Your GP can prescribe them and they can be a helpful way for you to boost your calorie intake without overloading your tummy. It need not be long term - just until your stomach stretches a bit and gets used to having food in it regularly.
GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE
THE COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN
AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE
I didn't even know about them, never heard. Maybe i can try, too bad i didn't see it before because i talked to my therapist this afternoon. We speak over scype and my gp here doesn't know about my ed.
I told her that i was sick from all the food but she just said that i need to get through it - just like people that have too take strong medicines sometimes feel sick because of them but they know they'll help them, i should continue eating because thet will do me good.... i know she's right, i know everything rationaly and really want to gain weight. That's why i don't understand why it is so damn hard to do something about it, to put my words in action....
Thanks for the advice, i'll check with my doctor
Are there international supermarkets you can get foods you're used to?
I've used Ensure before and I found even having ordinary juice or milk drinks helped me to expand my stomach so I got used to eating larger amounts. It is hard- but you can do it *hugs*
So she lights up a candle for hope to be found
Captive and blind by the darkness around
Each wave a promise, a new hope reborn
Sunrise consoles at the break of dawn
Thanks for your encouragements :) I'm trying with regular food and today Ieven ate ketchup. I know it sounds silly but the food I eat is very simple. Ido eat meat and vegetables but it's all boiled and then I add a bit of oliveoil, just a bit and it's pretty tasteless for others. Today, I actually boughtsweet and chilly chicken with rise and ate the whole think. I’m not really comfortablewith it, there is this little voice in my head telling me that I’ll getcellulite from it, that it’s not healthy and trying to make me promise I won’tdo it again. But I’m trying really hard not to listen to it. My hair and skinwill look better, I’ll have more energy, and my bones will not stick out! I’mrepeating this over and over hoping the voice will go away. For now it’s notcausing me anxiety at least, just bugs me at the back of my head.
I lost weight again….. I was doing fine, trying hard toregain again and then I travelled 3 weekends in a row, working during the weekand sightseeing during weekends. It was soo fun and relaxing and I enjoyed itsoooo much. I ate but apparently not enough. I have a 3 meals, 3 snacks routinebut when I’m traveling it’s hard to have a proper meal 3 times a day. Otherpeople just buy some snacks but I can’t eat that, it’s unhealthy, with lots ofsugar, salt, processed ingredients… That’s why I just try to find some healthyoption and it’s not enough for all the running around.
Anyway, I stepped on the scale again and I have the sameweight as when I left the hospital…. It is not good. I’m disappearing. I don’twant this….
Don’t know what I want from this post; guess I just want totell someone because I can’t tell my friends or family. Can’t tell my therapisteither that I didn’t make progress, she’ll be disappointed and maybe even denyto see me further because I didn’t really make any progress weight wise since Istarted my therapy 6 months ago……
She'll understand- but sounds like you do need some support to maintain. Can you see a doctor and ask for some help?
So she lights up a candle for hope to be found
Captive and blind by the darkness around
Each wave a promise, a new hope reborn
Sunrise consoles at the break of dawn
You could use Ensure's or Forti-sips to back up your calorie intake. They can be got on prescription from your GP and have plenty of vitamins and minerals in them. They are a safe, easy and healthy way to either maintain or gain weight with and better still when you go away you can pack some in your bag and have 3 a day or something on top of meals.
GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE
THE COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN
AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE
Sorry, I've just re-read the thread and I realise I've already suggested the above to you. I'm curious as to why you haven't given it a try or at least spoken to your GP about it.
GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE
THE COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN
AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE
Hi, thanks for the advice. I'm kind of freaked out that it's not healty... I don't like eating anything I can't recognize and I avoid most of the processed food as well as sauces and stuff like that. I know that lots of people use Ensure, I read about it when you first suggested it, but I can't make myself try it.
Another problem is that I'm now living in UK and my GP here suggested a visit to nutritionist. She was supposed to reffer me 4 weeks ago but I havn't received any call or letter yet and I don't know if that will even happen. She doesn't know about my ED issues (I don't want the doctors here to know as I'm affraid that my employer might find out), but she suggested it anyway when she measured my weight. I was kind of hopong that the nutritionist would give me more advise....
Two things. GP's in this country are bound by the hypocratic (sp) oath which basically means they can't break your confidentiality. Also a nutritionist can provide these drinks. And they are not unhealthy and sugar laden.
GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE
THE COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN
AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE
I have problems getting the correct amount of nutrients, vitamins, fats, and calories recommended for me. I am allergic to wheat, gluten, soybean, white bean, peanut, dairy, eggs, and artificial citric acid. Not only to add to that, I am vegan so finding the right foods for me is difficult. I eat very healthy for the most part which makes getting the right amount of calories extremely hard...I always count my calories to get to about the right amount for my weight and height. I'm also in the process of trying to gain weight so I always eat more. I use My Fitness Pal as an app. You can get it on your smart device or use it online. It tells your progress as you go. :) Just don't forget to add EVERYTHING you eat into your meals (like oils, butters, extras, drinks, etc...). My friend uses a calorie notebook so you've got several ways. You could try going to a dietitian to see what they recommend.
"We still talk like everyday but we don't talk in the same
way that we used to. I'll move on and forget you."
~A Part of Me - Neck Deep "Don’t need them pointing out my problems, they’re mine.
Don’t need reminders, I know better than anyone."
~A Letter - La Dispute "And the thought of it shakes all my bones in this weak
body I used to own. I can't do this alone."
~I Can't Do This Alone - Balance & Composure
