drinking; resuming.

[markh75]

Yes, you read right, i am starting drinking again. I feel very unsafe, and alone, and insecure, i hate my life and i dont want to be alive. I am not coping with life just now. its a mess.
i feel disregarded, ignored, substandard, unimportant, and after just banging down a half litre of brandy (love the stuff), i want to sleep my life away, i was told at a young age that i wouldnt amount to much; that was a self fulfilling prophesy. I didnt and i havent. I am nothing. I am useless. i will have to stop my counselling because i dont feel any better; i dont think i'll come out the other side in one piece, i am in pieces right now.
I know that i am not liked, i'm not a valuable person, nobody wants to know me. Including me. I hate me for being such a failure. i cant keep it together for five mins. i think its time someone came and took me away.
The drink is burning away at my insides now, and i feel strange already. i am going to bed. I came home from work last night and fell asleep in my office chair, i didnt wash or shower, i gaven up on getting washed. i have no self value, and no-one sees any in me; I had such a bad day today at work, i came home and banged down the brandy. i still have more for when the feeling wears off.
surely life wasnt meant to be so bad? maybe im just an easy target. i sertainly feel cursed.
I dont know what else to do, i have no-one to talk with about my problems, save an hour on a weds morning for an hour. but allotts happens between each vissit. I wish someone would come and take my problems away, or take ME away.
its getting late now; im 50 yrz old and i hope i dont have long to go, i dont think i can take much more.
dont know what to do.

[Patch.]

Hi there

You are not useless. You are a valuable human being despite your struggles. I can hear your pain through what you are saying. As you will know yourself, alcohol is a depressant though, and it will be making your mood much worse.

I see you are in Scotland - can you ask your GP to refer you to a CAT team? (Community Addiction Team)

Take care, PM if you need a chat

[Morph]

If you amount to much or not is entirely up to you!
That is individual, some people are fine with working a "normal" job at a supermarket or what ever, while others wont settle for less than a top position at some lawfirm or some **** like that. its about the preassure you put on yourself and so on. No one is worth less than any other human being.
What you want to amount to is for you to find out, and NO ONE can tell you you wont amount to or havent amounted to anything!

And you are not useless or unliked, you are a valuable human being and there are people out there who likes you or will like you if you give them and life a chance!

I know exactly how you feel and how it hurts. I am too sick of life but i cant give up because of my family. Im lucky that way.
Just dont give up yet. Let the brandy settle in your stomach and try to feel something, anything, that isnt bad. there has to be something worth living for!
Give life another shot my friend!

If you need to/want to talk just send me a message.

[Hisn1977]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Patch.

Hi there

You are not useless. You are a valuable human being despite your struggles. I can hear your pain through what you are saying. As you will know yourself, alcohol is a depressant though, and it will be making your mood much worse.

I see you are in Scotland - can you ask your GP to refer you to a CAT team? (Community Addiction Team)

Take care, PM if you need a chat

Yeah, Patch is right with that, You are valuable. You're not useless. Do not focus on your problem, But instead focus on the solution. If you accept defeat, then that's what you'll get..
Just PM us if you need someone to talk with.