I don't really know how to post correctly, I'm new to the site. This is the third time this month I've felt desperate for someone to talk to and understand me. I feel so awful and upset with myself that when I'm really feeling down for some reason I cut or hurt myself a little. I don't do it very often or with a lot of intensity but I get the urge to 'punish' myself for not being good enough, even when it's out of my control. I don't have faith in my friends, even those I called my best friends. I feel completely unlovable except by my family. I don't like my job. The only things working for me right now are my family and my grades. Socially I feel completely unwanted and can't keep up with friendships very often. I don't know what to do. I need a way to improve the way I feel about myself and to improve my life but things get me so down that I can't help but self harm. Please help. I'm not suicidal but I self harm because I'm missing something or am doing something wrong. I wish there was online therapy.
don't worry, your post was perfect :) and welcome to ryl!
is what you want to punish yourself for something that you would punish someone else for doing/feeling? often that is a question i ask myself when i'm getting really down and self hating. usually i'm a lot harder on myself than other people, and if i stop and think i can usually treat myself more fairly, like i would treat somebody else.
this is my magical medicine cabinet. Left to right they contain: courage, hope, calmness, and strength.
The magical part: They NEVER run out, so borrow some any time you want.
Hey I probably don't have any advice but wanted to welcome you to the site and say your post was fine. Signing up here is (hopefully) a good step forward to recovery, or at least maybe feelg a little better about yourself. Try to surround yourself with positives all the time, positive people and maybe think of doing a class or something to train for a new job? I know it's not easy to just join a new class when you dnt know anyone, but it's never too late to change job/career. For me anyway, that is an important thing to me, if I'm in a job I hate then generally my whole life suffers. But I know it's not easy to switch when you've no confidence.
Sorry I'm jut rambling on here, but I hope you got something out of it. Try to fill your time with things you enjoy, it will give you a lift. Well I will shut up now, but I wish you the best of luck, I also agree with above post. You don't need to punish yourself, we all make mistakes, no one is perfect.
What do you think you are missing? Are you a believer? My daughter used to SI, she is 13 and has not harmed herself in 2 months. I am so proud of her accomplishment, but I know that there is always the possibility, the what if's. The point I am trying to make here, is that you can set your mind to not do something, to make yourself feel better about yourself and accomplish it.
I am a Christian, and I fully believe in the power of prayer. My daughter is a perfect example of that. I had my entire church, and my friends, neighbors relatives all over the country praying for her & she is doing so much better. Maybe it is a relationship with God that you are missing. Do you have a Christian radio station where you are? Air1 is a pretty decent and they play a variety of Christian songs. Give it a try, maybe I'm right..maybe I'm wrong, but what harm can it do?
Feel free to message me anytime
"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me"
