Hey guys, I'm pretty new on here...Here goes:
Well, I have sh'd since I was 11 (I'm now 15). I do it for many reasons (main ones):
1. I am majorly down at the moment
2. I am unhappy with my life
3. I have nobody to talk to.
With the last one you'll probably say to talk to my parents but I can't. I don't see my dad and my mum isn't the emotionally connected mum that I would love. We dont really connect like we should. Last time she found out that I had self harmed, she shouted at me and basically said 'Its stupid, and what attention seekers do, you need to stop'. Therefore if she found out again, it really wouldn't work in my favor. I just want to stop. I've tried all the methods given and none have worked yet. I had counselling for a few years at school too but he stopped my sessions as he was fully booked. I just want to stop, I have the physical determination but the mental isn't there.
I need help, please.
Sorry it's so long, Sam x
Hi there, welcome to RYL. I know that you spoke about being unhappy in general terms, but what is specifically making you so miserable?
I can understand not being able to speak to your mum, but is there any other siblings or a friend who might understand? It can be very isolating not having anyone close to confide in, but sometimes it's helpful to have lots of hobbies and keep busy. I see from your profile picture that you are interested in CCF and first aid - have you considered doing St John Ambulance Cadets too?
i think it would help if you make a plan (with lots of steps in case the early ones dont work) of what to do when you get an urge. having to think of alternatives in the moment can be tough, and knowing what to do ahead of time is a big advantage. you also might want to try making an "uh oh box" (i think the thread is up at the moment, if not i'll find it for you).
another thing that might help is to make reminders of the reasons you want to stop harming, and keep them somewhere where you'll see them when you're triggered. reminders of why to fight can help keep your motivation up..
this is my magical medicine cabinet. Left to right they contain: courage, hope, calmness, and strength.
The magical part: They NEVER run out, so borrow some any time you want.
I don't know if this will be helpful or not, because I don't know much about your home life other than what you just mentioned, but do you have any opportunities to join activities (clubs, sports, whatever)? I know that sounds pretty unrelated to the issues at hand, but let me explain. Finding something else to look forward to, and to break the monotony of a life you're not happy with, can actually be really helpful. Also, a lot of these will put you in contact with people who you can develop friendships with, which can help with feeling alone. You don't have to do anything athletic or super competitive, either. For example, my school has a club for people who like playing board games together, and they're a really nice group of kids.
Best,
Krim
"You cannot take what you have not given, and you must give yourself." -Shevek, The Dispossessed(Ursula K. LeGuin)
