Triggering (SI) - my teacher asked me about my arm

still hurting · 08-10-2007, 05:35 PM

so i was in class today and we were working on projects having studio time, my teacher was over at my table answering my questions when he said "have you been fighting with a tiger?" i immediately flipped my arm over and said "no" which he repeated and gave me that look, it was only for like half a second if that, but it was the "i know, and i don't like it" look.

i've been cutting really badly lately, i'm trying not to but i cant help it so right now my arm has all the old permanent red scars and a few new dark read deepish healing scabs. it's so awkward.

now this guy isn't a normal teacher, he's only 15 years older than me, he used to be in my program, we call him by his first name, we're friends on facebook, i have a class with him that there's only 3 students in and one day one was absent, me and the other girl, who also cuts, were talking about it while he was busy but he kinda came back to the conversation and we stopped, i think he only really heard the part about our parents being useless and not specifically cutting but he said that he's good at being a surrogate dad and is totally there for us if we need him. he's got 2 little kids so being a dad isnt weird for him either.

i just hate that he said something, i mean my cuts are really obvious, i hid them for awhile but they got too bad now pretty much everyone knows, but barely anyone says anything, the few that do are the ones who haven't noticed yet. i'm just really weirded out and dont know how to act around him next, i know it'll be fin and like nothing happened, but it did happen. i almost want to tell him more so that he knows, knows i'm trying o quit, knows i'm getting friend and professional help, just something.

i'm sorry this is so long but it really upset me i'm kinda freaking out right now.

charls · 08-10-2007, 05:55 PM

Well he evidently cares, and if you want to say something to him, I doubt he'd mind, and maybe be pleased that you felt you could trust him with this. How do you feel about talking to him?

Sofie · 08-10-2007, 06:34 PM

He probably asked because he cares about you. He's probably also trying to say something like: 'if you want to talk, I'm here for you'.

sparkle. · 08-10-2007, 07:33 PM

I think I would talk to him, he seems like a nice guy,
he might be able to help,
good luck xxx

oedipus · 08-10-2007, 07:43 PM

ahh wow talk to him yeah definitely!
he seems lovely =D
xx

OneLonelyTree · 08-10-2007, 08:13 PM

Is he a teacher you look up to and admire? One that would be interested in helping you in some way? if not then i would say either ask him politely to mind his own business or simply dont bring it up again. i had a professor in college who semi found me out and at first it made me nervous but she really just wanted to help me and support me. Sometimes saying things about tigers or lawn mowers is simply an older persons way of "opening" the conversation...maybe he just wants to help you...

musik-addikt · 08-10-2007, 09:03 PM

i had a teacher ask me the same kinda thing except it was in front of a whole class. I'm really consciuos of hiding my arms so I was horrfied that he'd seen them and commented.

Luckily he was someone that i felt i could talk to so I told him that I was getting help etc. and i also told him to not mention it in front of everyone.

I guess he's just concerned for you,

Krissa · 08-10-2007, 10:02 PM

If you feel really comfortable with him, talk about it. Especially, if you knew him for awhile!

As I can tell, he's concerned and wants you to be better. =] No one has to be put through pain. You are a good person and don't let anyone say you're not. Help is out there, please go see someone! I don't you or anyone else to feel lonely and that nobody is out there.

It's been over a year since I last cut and you know what? Everytime, I look at these 2 big noticable scars on my arm, I just remind meself that everything will be get much better in life. Stay strong, girl!

still hurting · 08-10-2007, 10:27 PM

he's a great guy and if he had asked when no one was around i'd tell him but everyone else was there not listening but there, and it just freaks me out, as much as i know he cares i kinda feel like he's my teacher and this is too personal, especially since i'll be working with him for the next 3 years, i dont want him having to take care of me or being concerned. plus i hate bringing it up, i'll talk to almost anyone who wants to, and in some case i'm happy when someone mentions because i know they know and it gives me a chance to say that yes it's a problem but i am trying, and it gives them a chance to ask questions, i'll do anything to help someone else and sometimes getting them to understand can help a lot. but i CANT go up to someone, especially not a teacher, and say "so the other day you saw my arm, yeah, i cut" i just cant be that open. i just really feel weird being around him right now, like he's broken into my secret without my permission, i don't mind him knowing it, but i want to be involved in his image of this.

but thanks fr your support, i just need to stop freaking out right now

Mariposa · 09-10-2007, 01:38 AM

Hey, I've been the same kind of situation and it was awkward and weird at first but it didn't stay that way and ultimately things turned out well because I did have that support and I did have people who cared and wanted to help me. Even when I didn't want their "help" they helped me and made sure I was okay which now looking back I'm really glad they did. Look at this as your teacher being another person you can talk to. Obviously he cares about you and wants to help. Don't push him away. Let him in a little and see where it goes. There more support you can get the better things will be and the easier it will be to quit.

mansonluvr5692 · 09-10-2007, 02:10 AM

i think this teacher sounds like he would be very supportive. maybe you should just talk to him about what he saw and then tell him that you are getting help, and that you are trying hard to stop, and that he doesn't need to worry about you. i'm sure, since he sounds so supportive, that he would accept your space, and not point it out after that. maybe?

good luck hun. and don't freak out, it will work out in the end.