this might seem lame to people here, but it's worth a try.
my dad died when i was younger and my mom remarried to a guy who i just don't like. he's not abusive or anything but when we argue he makes me feel like everything i do is wrong. after an argument, i was crying and without thinking i cut. it helped, so the next argument i cut again. i'm not addicted, i've only cut a few times and burned once. i can't remember the next couple of times i cut. then one night, (there wasn't an argument, i was just mad and upset with myself), i looked in the mirror and i just thought i looked ugly, and i started to dwell on it. as a "punishment", i burned my wrist and kept scratching it after until it was pretty deep. that was a while back, but i still remember that night. lately, i've been wanting to cut/self harm, but i haven't made a habit of it and from what i hear the worst thing i can do is start. but i think a lot of people here can agree that sometimes you just run out of other things to do. any advice on stopping myself so i don't get addicted?
Hi
Hope your feeling ok today. Try to find an alternative to sh as it is very destructive and very addictive (speaking from experience) and once addicted very hard to stop. Could you try talking to your mums new husband or even tell your mum how it makes you feel when you argue. It may be he doesnt realise thats how you feel. If he knows you dont like him maybe he feels everything he does is wrong and trying to show you how he feels sometimes? sounds strange but it could be.
As for the cutting, keep yourself safe and if you do cut keep it clean. I found colouring really detailed patterns helped because i was concentrating so much on getting the pattern right i didnt want to cut. Or go for a walk/drive/watch a film etc if you feel angry and need to let of steam could you do a sport/activity. Sometimes i punch my pillows they are soft so dont do any damage to anyone :). Hope that helps just try to think of practical solutions rather than cutting etc, feel free to pm x
there is a big list of distractions that you might find useful that is stickied on the Fun and Distractions Forum... also, you might find it helpful to make a specific plan of what you will do when you get an urge.
maybe you could talk to a counselor at school to get some support for how to deal with the family stuff, and maybe help facilitate a productive conversation between you, your mom, and your step-dad about how to make things better
this is my magical medicine cabinet. Left to right they contain: courage, hope, calmness, and strength.
The magical part: They NEVER run out, so borrow some any time you want.
Just read this it's very true and I hope it helps.
The following content has been hidden - Reason : READ IT.
The Cutting Warning Label
Written by Divine Amethyst Artemis
[Caution: This is triggering material]
WARNING:
Before you make that first cut remember. You will enjoy this. You will find the blood and pain release addictive. Even though you think you can make a few tiny cuts that aren’t deep and will heal easily, they will get deeper. They will scar. They will sometimes take months to heal. And years for the scars to fade. If you think you can limit the cutting to one area of your body think again. It will spread when you run out of skin.
Be prepared to withdraw from others and live in a constant state of shame. Even if you are the most honest person ever to live you will find yourself lying to the people you love. You will jerk back from your friends when they touch you as if their hands were dipped in poison. You will be terrified that they will feel something under the cloth of your shirt, or just because it just plain hurts so much to be touched.
Be prepared to get so out of control you fear your next cut because you don’t know how bad it will be. Just wait for 10 cuts to turn into 100... Be prepared for your entire life to revolve around cutting, and thinking about cutting, cutting and covering up cutting. And just wait until that first time you cut “too deep”. And you freak because the blood won’t stop, and you are gaping, ad you feel yourself shaking all over. You are having a panic attack and you are terrified but you can’t tell anyone. So you sit there alone, praying it will be okay and swearing you’ll never let it go this far again. But you will; and further. Don’t worry, you will learn how to take care of your cuts so that you can go deeper and deeper and avoid A and E.
You will lie to yourself and justify it when you find yourself spending £10, £20, £30 every time you go into a chemist. You will feel the flutter of your heart beat every time you go to the counter. Butterfly strips, 3 or 4 kinds of dressings, wound tape, antibiotic cream, medical tape, and scar reducers. You will tap your foot impatiently hoping the queue will move on and that no one will stare at you or wonder why you need all these things. And at the same time secretly hope that someone will notice... someone who is standing in line with an armful of the same supplies. Someone who understands. But of course that never happens.
Medical supplies won’t be the only thing you spend all your money on. Be prepared to buy a new wardrobe. Long sleeve shirts in summer colours, bracelets, wristbands, boots, gloves the list goes on and on.
You will start looking at every one in a different way. Scanning their bodies for any signs of SI, just hoping that you might meet someone like you so you don’t feel so terribly alone. You won’t even think about it as you eyes scan their wrists, arms, hoping, just hoping that you might meet someone like you. But they are not. You will see their clean arms and feel terribly ashamed and alone.
You will start doing alot of things alone. You will always have to wash your laundry in private so that no one sees the blood stains on your clothes and towels. You will always be cleaning up the blood. Scrubbing your bathroom floor, wiping the blood off your keyboard.
You won’t be able to make it through a day without cutting. Next thing you know you’re locked in a toilet cubical somewhere breaking open a scar with a sowing needle you keep in your purse for emergencies. When you get really desperate anything can be a cutting tool. Scissors, car keys, needles, even a pen. It doesn’t really matter what if you need to cut bad enough you’ll find something.
Say goodbye to the things you took for granted. Like wearing shorts or sandals, pedicures and sleeveless tops. A normal summer day at the beach or the swimming pool will become a far off memory to you.
And remember to be ready to itch. Because you will itch and itch so much that “you look like you have fleas or a skin disease”.
You will become an expert on your own body as you destroy it carefully. You will dream about cutting. You will dream about being exposed. It will haunt you day and night and take over your life. You will wish you never made that first cut because you will absolutely hate cutting; but at the same time you love it and cannot live without it.
You have been warned...
Take care.
Amy x
'Cause I'll always remember you the same.
Oh eyes like wild flowers within demons of change ♥
Please, please I beg you from the bottom of my heart do not continue. Once continued it is way harmful and extremely addictive. It makes scars, loses friends and even makes family cry. I've learned this the hard way. And have had to be committed to psych wards and go to constant therapy for it. Please do not continue. If u ever need someone to talk to you can message me. ANYTIME.
I hope you are okay now and you don't do it again as it's very addict, I beg you I recently did it again a week back but I've stopped now I currently have a butterfly on my wrist with my boyfriends name on it. I hope you have stopped.
