Talking it out

[hell is empty]

I've been cutting for about 6 months. I cut my stomach so no one will find out. I'm fat, so no one will ever see my stomach. I can't take the secret any longer. I hate myself, so I cut, then I hate myself more. I just like the scars. I use cutting to punish myself or calm myself. Or sometimes for no reason. I scare myself sometimes.

I can't bring myself to tell anyone. My best friend tells me everything and says he trusts me completely. He was recently suicidal, so he would understand. I told him about my suicidal episode 2 years ago, and he was very understanding. Do I tell him? How do I tell him? I'm scared he'll tell my parents. I can't let my parents know, but I don't think I can deal with this secret on my own much longer. I'm starting to cut myself worse and worse, and I can't get out of this myself.

Should I tell him? What should I say? I don't know what to do.

Please, someone help me. I can't deal with this secret on my own.

[Anim3Luv3r]

I understand how you feel. I've gone through this before and from time to time I relapse, having mean thoughts about myself. But I talked - I let my mom know and I got taken to a counselor to talk to about it. Just talking made me feel so much better - I can feel getting better.

I think you should tell him if he's the one you trust the most. If you aren't comfortable with your parents knowing yet, tell him that you don't want that. That should be YOUR responsibility, to get the courage to realize that telling your parents is the only way your going to get help. Wanting this secret to come out already is the first step to get out of this, I promise.

Your important and strong no matter how many times you tell yourself otherwise and don't believe it. What you're going through isn't easy and your not alone :) Hang in there!

[hell is empty]

Thank you, Anim3Luv3r. I got up the nerve to tell him, and he was incredibly supportive- we talked for hours. He told me he loved me and would support me no matter what. I still don't want to talk to my parents, and I still feel the... urge... to cut, but it isn't overpowering now. Thank you very much- your advice was what I needed to get help.

[talaiporia]

I'm glad you managed to tell him. How are you feeling now?
You might find this thread helpful, as it contains information about telling your parents.

[hell is empty]

The friend I told admitted to me last night that he used to self-harm. He would burn himself, to the point where the doctors offered him a skin graft. My scars are so small, in comparison... it makes me feel like I shouldn't even be talking to him about this to him when he obviously hurt so much more than me. It really upsets me, but the scary thing is that I really want to try burning myself now. I'm sick, aren't I? Really sick.